"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Anyone that knows about drum sets

Vantagepoint34

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I'm looking into getting a drum set for myself. Would it be necessary to buy the plastic casing that goes around it? If so what is the casing for? Any tips on how to transport and purchase would greatly be appreciated.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bible_Belt

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If you're in a band, you'd want cases for carrying your stuff to gigs. Otherwise, they just sit around and take up space.
 

Vantagepoint34

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Bible_Belt said:
If you're in a band, you'd want cases for carrying your stuff to gigs. Otherwise, they just sit around and take up space.
I'm thinking about building a room just for the drum set. Or maybe get one of those shed's to put the drum set inside.
 

Bible_Belt

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You'll want climate control, which a shed probably wouldn't have. Extreme heat will make the wood veneers fall apart and in cold weather, it's also possible to get condensation on the metal, which could cause rust.
 

Vantagepoint34

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Bible_Belt said:
You'll want climate control, which a shed probably wouldn't have. Extreme heat will make the wood veneers fall apart and in cold weather, it's also possible to get condensation on the metal, which could cause rust.
Then to make a pool house would be a better idea. Not sure if my girl would enjoy endless drumming inside the house.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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goundra

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so set the shed far away from everyone, have a little space heater in there, and insulate the building well. NO biggie.
 

rhythmic

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If you never played before, look at pre-owned, you'll get a much better deal. Post the names of the kits you're looking at here, maybe links. If noise is an issue, get a pair of sticks and practise on a pillow, or get a practise pad - you can get muscle memory into your arms, hands and fingers that way.

Maybe get an electric kit if noise is going to be an issue long-term. I hate the feel of the things but for practical purposes they're awesome (solo rehearsal, band rehearsals, and they're great for musical theatre/pantomime gigs, techies love them).
 

Vantagepoint34

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rhythmic said:
If you never played before, look at pre-owned, you'll get a much better deal. Post the names of the kits you're looking at here, maybe links. If noise is an issue, get a pair of sticks and practise on a pillow, or get a practise pad - you can get muscle memory into your arms, hands and fingers that way.

Maybe get an electric kit if noise is going to be an issue long-term. I hate the feel of the things but for practical purposes they're awesome (solo rehearsal, band rehearsals, and they're great for musical theatre/pantomime gigs, techies love them).
I actually keep an electric kit by my computer. To record.
 
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