Anyone over 40?

[ZenDancer]

Hi there folks,

Sooo... I'm wondering if there are any other folks here over 40? I've recently come out of a long (very very long) term relationship and I want to start dating again... To be honest I've procrastinated about posting here, as I feel a bit weird about it at my age. That said, the fact is that dating still works in much the same way even if you are a few years older (I wish it became more straightforward... haha).

So what am I here for? Well, let's start with what I'm not here for: I'm not interested in sex with much younger women - under 30 is a red line for me.. it's not a moral thing; it's more that I know we're in different stages of our lives and it can't really go anyway and, as bizarre as it may sound, I'm really not interested in casual sex at this stage of my life.

I do want to find a really quality woman and start something new, though, and that requires getting out there and getting in front of women and talking to them... I was into the PUA scene when I was in my early 30s and I know a lot of this stuff really works. I also found it hugely beneficial in terms of personal development, as it forced me to really conquer my need for approval from others...

So I guess I have two things I want to work on:

1. Meeting/dating quality women
2. Overcoming fear of rejection/disapproval

Thanks for being here folks,
Lucas

 

[2Rocky]

This would be a good guideline...Get your house in order Physically, Mentally Financially and Emotionally. When you take stock of what you have to offer, start thinking about what you WANT in a woman. It is not just for Married men trying to save a relationship. It helps to Restart yourself.

You can cover any Seduction stuff all over the internet, most of it is Toxic BS. But you can find nuggets of wisdom here and there.

My Recommendation after becoming single at 42

Realize how worthy you are to single women
don't settle for the first piece of ass before sampling a few others out there.
Don't be needy.
Stand up for yourself.

 

[2Rocky]

read this :

Dont feel like dating anymore

He's not bringing up JBW though so he's not really blackpill. I don’t even know what JBW is.lol I’ve never even visited a black pill forum or researched black pill beliefs to be honest.

www.sosuave.net

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hi there folks,

Sooo... I'm wondering if there are any other folks here over 40? I've recently come out of a long (very very long) term relationship and I want to start dating again... To be honest I've procrastinated about posting here, as I feel a bit weird about it at my age. That said, the fact is that dating still works in much the same way even if you are a few years older (I wish it became more straightforward... haha).

So what am I here for? Well, let's start with what I'm not here for: I'm not interested in sex with much younger women - under 30 is a red line for me.. it's not a moral thing; it's more that I know we're in different stages of our lives and it can't really go anyway and, as bizarre as it may sound, I'm really not interested in casual sex at this stage of my life.

I do want to find a really quality woman and start something new, though, and that requires getting out there and getting in front of women and talking to them... I was into the PUA scene when I was in my early 30s and I know a lot of this stuff really works. I also found it hugely beneficial in terms of personal development, as it forced me to really conquer my need for approval from others...

So I guess I have two things I want to work on:

1. Meeting/dating quality women
2. Overcoming fear of rejection/disapproval

Thanks for being here folks,
Lucas

At the risk of sounding biased, follow Troy Francis and Tusk on yt. The lives are superb approaching babe's live irl real time. Troy is near 50 and Tusk almost 40. Both great for their age but still.

 

[metalwater]

Hi there folks,

Sooo... I'm wondering if there are any other folks here over 40? I've recently come out of a long (very very long) term relationship and I want to start dating again... To be honest I've procrastinated about posting here, as I feel a bit weird about it at my age. That said, the fact is that dating still works in much the same way even if you are a few years older (I wish it became more straightforward... haha).

So what am I here for? Well, let's start with what I'm not here for: I'm not interested in sex with much younger women - under 30 is a red line for me.. it's not a moral thing; it's more that I know we're in different stages of our lives and it can't really go anyway and, as bizarre as it may sound, I'm really not interested in casual sex at this stage of my life.

I do want to find a really quality woman and start something new, though, and that requires getting out there and getting in front of women and talking to them... I was into the PUA scene when I was in my early 30s and I know a lot of this stuff really works. I also found it hugely beneficial in terms of personal development, as it forced me to really conquer my need for approval from others...

So I guess I have two things I want to work on:

1. Meeting/dating quality women
2. Overcoming fear of rejection/disapproval

Thanks for being here folks,
Lucas

yes, lots of over 40. As you know the middle 40s is the power years for men.

Are you red-pilled..? Why are you single ? Just asking as members come from different situations.

Why would you not like a younger woman? Some men find younger women less jaded.

You are in the right forum will find as many opinions here as members.

 

[lost_blackbird]

48 and checked out of the whole thing.

 

[wifehunter]

47.... and over the bullsh!t.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Over forty.
mostly have dated, GF under 30. though not necessarily by choice. Most over 35 are wise enough to avoid me.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I’m a hair over 40…
64.

 

[zekko]

I'm also 60. Being over 60 is a whole different world than being over 40, however.

 

[ZenDancer]

Thanks guys for the welcome and guidance... it's very much appreciated! Good to know I'm not the only non-20-something guy navigating single life and dating... I definitely prefer the natural approach with approaching women. I used to use tricks and routines when I was into PUA in much younger years, but I really couldn't be bothered with all that now... being authentic and enjoying being authentic is the main thing for me, and if that means I don't succeed (whatever the hell that means) quite so consistently, then that's just fine... in fact, it's probably better; at this point in my life emotional and spiritual autonomy and self-actualisation are more important to me than getting laid, so being rejected in whatever small way is actually good practice for me... it's exposure therapy, of a sort...

This would be a good guideline...Get your house in order Physically, Mentally Financially and Emotionally. When you take stock of what you have to offer, start thinking about what you WANT in a woman. It is not just for Married men trying to save a relationship. It helps to Restart yourself.

You can cover any Seduction stuff all over the internet, most of it is Toxic BS. But you can find nuggets of wisdom here and there.

My Recommendation after becoming single at 42

Realize how worthy you are to single women
don't settle for the first piece of ass before sampling a few others out there.
Don't be needy.
Stand up for yourself.

Thanks for this Rocky. Thankfully I'm in pretty good shape physically and emotionally, and my house is fairly in order financially... I agree that most of what's out there re: seduction is toxic BS.. there are indeed nuggets of wisdom, and a lot of it can have an instrumental value in getting guys to put themselves out there, but it's characterised by a whole lot of reductive, willfully ignorant, intellectual laziness too... As I've got older integrity and authenticity have become the qualities that matter most to me in my relationship with myself, and ultimately my relationship with myself is the one that sets the tone for all others...

Thanks all,
Lucas

 

[corrector]

I am 45

 

[Gedmun]

Just turned 40... Never married no kids. Never had game or pua skills.

 

[buddhafukko]

No, literally everyone quit reading SS at 39.999.

I'm not interested in sex with much younger women - under 30 is a red line for me

You are BSing yourself. If you could manage to lay a hot over 30 woman you would in a heartbeat. So you aren't interested in casual sex at this stage of your life, but you are if they are under 30? You admitted that you haven't had game since your early 30's, which required very little compared to you now in your 40s. You better start figuring out how to sleep with women then you can begin to consider the possibility of a relationship that may last. Women are sexual creatures, they aren't interested in your fear of rejection.

 

[lost_blackbird]

You are BSing yourself. If you could manage to lay a hot over 30 woman you would in a heartbeat. So you aren't interested in casual sex at this stage of your life, but you are if they are under 30? You admitted that you haven't had game since your early 30's, which required very little compared to you now in your 40s. You better start figuring out how to sleep with women then you can begin to consider the possibility of a relationship that may last. Women are sexual creatures, they aren't interested in your fear of rejection.

Well... I for one wouldn't lay a hot woman over or under 30, in all the heartbeats in the world. I'm not interested in casual
or non casual sex. I have no game, never have had and I don't care one iota about that. I don't want a relationship, casual,
fleeting, long term or otherwise. I'm reasonably attractive and get IOIs all the time. Every woman I've ever been with has
approached me. I have never, ever pursued a woman, I wouldn't know how, were I to try I'd most certainly botch it up as
I'm socially very awkward and find interactions (even platonic ones) with others confusing and challenging. I haven't had
sex or a date in years and somehow I manage to survive just fine. Not every male is controlled by the little guy downstairs.

 

[buddhafukko]

Fair enough but OP specifically is looking for a relationship.

Well... I for one wouldn't lay a hot woman over or under 30, in all the heartbeats in the world. I'm not interested in casual
or non casual sex. I have no game, never have had and I don't care one iota about that. I don't want a relationship, casual,
fleeting, long term or otherwise. I'm reasonably attractive and get IOIs all the time. Every woman I've ever been with has
approached me. I have never, ever pursued a woman, I wouldn't know how, were I to try I'd most certainly botch it up as
I'm socially very awkward and find interactions (even platonic ones) with others confusing and challenging. I haven't had
sex or a date in years and somehow I manage to survive just fine. Not every male is controlled by the little guy downstairs.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

No, literally everyone quit reading SS at 39.999.

You are BSing yourself. If you could manage to lay a hot over 30 woman you would in a heartbeat. So you aren't interested in casual sex at this stage of your life, but you are if they are under 30? You admitted that you haven't had game since your early 30's, which required very little compared to you now in your 40s. You better start figuring out how to sleep with women then you can begin to consider the possibility of a relationship that may last. Women are sexual creatures, they aren't interested in your fear of rejection.

I smell the bulls'hit too. I've put myself in a situation where I now where I meet younger chicks (Through a social circle I've created), and I slayer them all in heartbeat if I can. That is what we guys are born to do.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Cast a wide net and be wary of women insisting an LTR up front. The best women for LTR's are the ones open to one or preferring one but not *insisting* on one. Those tend to be overly picky or damaged goods.

You want to screen for high interest levels as well, but with a caveat. If a prospect starts divulging too much info up front, telling you her life story in the first message, or is acting like you're "the one" when you haven't met, cut bait and run. These are the LTR-insistent women being narcissistic and "love-bombing" you.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Fair enough but OP specifically is looking for a relationship.

That might be true, but the way you meet that chick, is by slayer many others to get to her. You cannot just go after a few ones and BOOM!! There she is. That's just called oneitis.
It just like in sales; to find that real sales star you need to go through 100 sales people to find that special one that really does the job. Same applies to dating.

 

[Epimanes]

43 here.... split with ex coming up 3 years ago.. kids (17 and 23) picked me over ex wife... i have a new lady now, met her long ago when I met my now ex... going good with her now especially since in in charge of the relationship.... And since I no longer have a family to try and hold together.. its my way or the fkn highway now. If she doesn't like it... that's too bad. There's the door if it bothers you that much... so far she would rather stay. I'm not unfair.. I just won't be told what to do anymore....she's basicly been told... "make my dyck hard not my life and everything will fine and we can work together on everything" ... if she makes my life hard... well ... there's the fkn door.

That mindful attraction book is awesome... I have had it 3x in paperback... gave em away... and got it on audible now ... good stuff..

So... get out there... and don't settle for anything less than exactly what your looking for... you got this.

Epi