Anyone notice this trend of oddly matched couples on social media?

[oldmanofthesea]

Whether it's IG, Tik-Tok or wherever, I'm starting to see a lot of couples that make me scratch my head. It is specifically the type of women who you would normally see with a very masculine dude, but instead they are with baby-faced nerdy guys who look 5 years younger than the girl they are with - normally the kind of dude you would see as one of their really close orbiters.

Don't get me wrong, I have zero problem with it (I'm doing just fine and I'm happy for the dudes), and this isn't a rant of any kind, it's just........ odd, because it is counter to what I've seen my entire life. The reason I'm even making this post is to get thoughts on whether there is some new trend going on with the early 20's set that runs counter to what's been happening for, uh, thousands of years. I will say that I only see this on social media and not in real life but I also don't spend any time around high-school or college age kids, so it might be happening around there. My only other thought is that they aren't really couples but are just posing that way for attention. But back in my HS/college time, women would never pose with a dude like this as it would be social suicide.

Just two of many examples:

 

[sangheilios]

This is just my opinion based upon observations I've had over the past few years in my day to day life.

I actually have noticed a lot of women settle into relationships with men that made no sense to me. I could cite tons of examples of people that I know or know of who fit into this, both attractive woman with unattractive men and vice versa. In the case of an attractive woman with an unattractive man, there is something that I suspect may be at play here.

I have the feeling that in cases like this the women are settling into relationships with these men because it gives them a sense of comfort and control in the relationship. By being with a lesser attractive man they feel they are less likely to be dumped, cheated on, etc. Some other feelings and emotions that may be at play relate to wanting to be adored by her bf, since she is more attractive he will have to be on his toes because she could leave him at any minute for another guy. I also have the feeling that these women aren't fully aware of this and that it's all subconscious. Perhaps she was cheated on in the past, insecure, etc.?

 

[SW15]

The Porsche dude is dweeb. That won't last.

 

[Robert28]

I never have women settle for me. I must be no ones type lol

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I have the feeling that in cases like this the women are settling into relationships with these men because it gives them a sense of comfort and control in the relationship.

That is very common, yes. And I have some friends who are with women who wear the pants in the relationship. And I've seen women in their 30's typically settling down with men below their league who they can walk all over. Heck, the last girl I dated was stunning and she told me multiple times, "I think I need someone who is more obsessed with me" LOL. AKA she didn't want a masculine man like me who held iron frame and wouldn't put up with any of her BS nor would I let her control or manipulate me. So $20 says now that I dumped her, the next guy she will probably get with will be some beta.

But two things to note: The first is that the beta settling doesn't typically happen until a woman's 30's. In her 20's she is all about seeing what she can get, working her way up the ladder. It isn't until she gets the calibration from sleeping around in her 20's that she understands what her true SMV is (hopefully) and decides to settle down with a beta provider. You just don't see that kind of settling in women 18-28 generally - or if you do it's the exception and not the rule. Then women in the videos are all under 30. And secondly, the trend I'm talking about isn't just for a beta guy, it's for a specific type of beta guy - extremely young/boyish looking compared to her (like an 16yo looking boy with a super hot 28yo girl), and who might be pretty nerdy too. I've just not seen that before and now I see it all the time on social media.

 

[sangheilios]

That is very common, yes. And I have some friends who are with women who wear the pants in the relationship. And I've seen women in their 30's typically settling down with men below their league who they can walk all over. Heck, the last girl I dated was stunning and she told me multiple times, "I think I need someone who is more obsessed with me" LOL. AKA she didn't want a masculine man like me who held iron frame and wouldn't put up with any of her BS nor would I let her control or manipulate me. So $20 says now that I dumped her, the next guy she will probably get with will be some beta.

But two things to note: The first is that the beta settling doesn't typically happen until a woman's 30's. In her 20's she is all about seeing what she can get, working her way up the ladder. It isn't until she gets the calibration from sleeping around in her 20's that she understands what her true SMV is (hopefully) and decides to settle down with a beta provider. You just don't see that kind of settling in women 18-28 generally - or if you do it's the exception and not the rule. Then women in the videos are all under 30. And secondly, the trend I'm talking about isn't just for a beta guy, it's for a specific type of beta guy - extremely young/boyish looking compared to her (like an 16yo looking boy with a super hot 28yo girl), and who might be pretty nerdy too. I've just not seen that before and now I see it all the time on social media.

Honestly, at this point I really think a lot of women are just really weird/broken today and shouldn't be taken seriously.

I've had a 4 tell me I'm unattractive but yet she has been in a relationship with a man that is 300 pounds, totally broke and unemployed. I think their behavior and who they end up dating reflects how they view themselves and if something is in congruent it is because of issues they have.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

That is very common, yes. And I have some friends who are with women who wear the pants in the relationship. And I've seen women in their 30's typically settling down with men below their league who they can walk all over. Heck, the last girl I dated was stunning and she told me multiple times, "I think I need someone who is more obsessed with me" LOL. AKA she didn't want a masculine man like me who held iron frame and wouldn't put up with any of her BS nor would I let her control or manipulate me. So $20 says now that I dumped her, the next guy she will probably get with will be some beta.

But two things to note: The first is that the beta settling doesn't typically happen until a woman's 30's. In her 20's she is all about seeing what she can get, working her way up the ladder. It isn't until she gets the calibration from sleeping around in her 20's that she understands what her true SMV is (hopefully) and decides to settle down with a beta provider. You just don't see that kind of settling in women 18-28 generally - or if you do it's the exception and not the rule. Then women in the videos are all under 30. And secondly, the trend I'm talking about isn't just for a beta guy, it's for a specific type of beta guy - extremely young/boyish looking compared to her (like an 16yo looking boy with a super hot 28yo girl), and who might be pretty nerdy too. I've just not seen that before and now I see it all the time on social media.

Being somewhat theoretical here, but my suspicion is this is a manifestation of a generalized anxiety epidemic among modern females. After last year, I imagine young people are facing more of an uncertain future than generations past, and we still have massive fear mongering going on by the media. After covid, riots, hard economic times, political unrest, these younger girls may just want to take the safe route as opposed to the girls who just a few years before wanted to ride the carousel.

My dad has said that the events of 2020 made the tumult of the1960's look like child's play. So these girls could be facing more anxiety than any of their counterparts since the Great Depression/WWII days. And we know how conservative that generation turned out.

Edit - basically, what Sangheilios above me said.

 

[sangheilios]

@oldmanofthesea

To add to what I've said, I see a lot of this stuff interestingly enough at the gym. I see a lot of women there that are very attractive and you'd think they'd all be in relationships with men that are 6'+ and ripped. I can think of many examples where the women are very attractive but yet are with men that are average at best. There is this one latina that I see there semi regularly, she isn't super pretty but has an amazing ass but the guy she is with looks like a geek, very average and legitimately scrawny looking. I can think of another woman there who is very pretty and has a great rack and ass and her bf is average.

I find it interesting to say the least and I think there is a lot that goes into how these seemingly mismatched relationships lined up. Sometimes I get the feeling it has to do with variables that I mentioned previously on this thread, but something else tells me it comes down to what is within their social circle. Most people don't go out on dates, let alone form relationships, with men that are total strangers that they met through cold approach, at bars, tinder, etc. Chances are these women met these men through mutual friends or acquaintances, were classmates, coworkers, etc. and because it was safe for them they naturally settled.

 

[SW15]

My dad has said that the events of 2020 made the tumult of the1960's look like child's play. So these girls could be facing more anxiety than any of their counterparts since the Great Depression/WWII days. And we know how conservative that generation turned out.

2020 was nuts! COVID-19 made the Great Recession and 9/11 look like child's play. I was economically affected by both the Great Recession and COVID. At least I could go to a bar or a grocery store without a mask during the Great Recession.

Anxiety is up with 2020-21 for both men and women.

 

[sangheilios]

Being somewhat theoretical here, but my suspicion is this is a manifestation of a generalized anxiety epidemic among modern females. After last year, I imagine young people are facing more of an uncertain future than generations past, and we still have massive fear mongering going on by the media. After covid, riots, hard economic times, political unrest, these younger girls may just want to take the safe route as opposed to the girls who just a few years before wanted to ride the carousel.

My dad has said that the events of 2020 made the tumult of the1960's look like child's play. So these girls could be facing more anxiety than any of their counterparts since the Great Depression/WWII days. And we know how conservative that generation turned out.

Edit - basically, what Sangheilios above me said.

That is actually a really good point about the current times, I have to remind myself of how this affected people because all of last year I wasn't once fazed by it and hauled ass and made last year one of the best of my life, seriously. With a lot of people after the events that have been going on this past year and a half have been chronically experiencing feelings related to fear, uncertainty and doubt. Naturally people are seeking out things that will provide them with an emotional sense of safety, comfort, etc.

Really good post here

 

[BillyPilgrim]

2020 was nuts! COVID-19 made the Great Recession and 9/11 look like child's play. I was economically affected by both the Great Recession and COVID. At least I could go to a bar or a grocery store without a mask during the Great Recession.

Anxiety is up with 2020-21 for both men and women.

The question I have is, how will this affect the dating/hookup scene at large? To what degree will women be seeking out LTR's and avoiding hookups/flings more than before? On top of what's already occurred, the leftist ones might be dealing with a political regime change (in the U.S.), the religious ones might have to deal with UFO disclosure by the gov't. Already we're seeing cost of living increases that seem to be outpacing any post-lockdown economic gains.

 

[BMX]

They are scared and desperate. It is not your job to be a safety net for them. Keep a long memory gents, because this "strong and independent" facade is rubbing off faster than the "silver" on a chain I bought in the Middle East. When push came to shove in 2020, it was all clearly dogsh!t that they had been stepping in the entire time.

 

[Young OG]

When you see a hot girl with some guy that's a total nerd or loser, you might think why is she with him. You might think that she can do better then him. You might think that you are better then that guy and she should be with you or a guy like you.

But, you are failing to remember that you might be thinking logically about it but women aren't. Women do not make choices based off facts and logic like men do. These guys you see them with most likely met them through friends, worked with the them, or went to school with them. The guy most likely did not meet her through cold approach or OLD.

 

[corrector]

The guy most likely did not meet her through cold approach or OLD.

Exactly.

 

[Serenity]

It's because the main difference between the winners and the losers is not how they look, it's who they are. I know a lot of people on here reject this, but it's the truth.

I have an average looking body, not defined as muscular by any stretch of the imagination. I've met many dudes whose body I actually envy, then I talk to them, get to know them a little and see how they interact with other people. Most of these guys are absolutely pathetic and definitely don't have the social confidence to go along with the stereotype.

I'm a nerd, I spent most of my late teens being a social recluse playing video games and had all the behavioral traits that's typical for this, I have also been the orbiter. I'm still a nerd, but now I socially dominate and orbiting is the last thing I'd do. You probably wouldn't deem me as masculine looking, but that never really mattered all that much to me, I'm masculine acting.

In a way you could say that the guys blessed with the genes to look masculine are at a disadvantage, getting the attention of women is so easy for them that they don't have the evolutionary pressure to develop a strong character. I won't say I was unfortunate with my natural looks, but it isn't anywhere near the top of stereotypical masculine looks. I didn't get the attention from women as easily as these good looking dudes, but it did put pressure on finding better ways to compete and that I found. The only ones I couldn't ever win over are the superficially focused women and frankly I don't consider this a disadvantage, lol.

Anyways, I think many women have come to the realization that good looks says nothing about the character and strengths of a man. I personally have more confidence than most people around me, others do notice it and respond positively to it.