Anyone else's brain turn to mush on occasion

[vorbis]

Every so often, I get like a freeze in a conversation. I don't stop talking or anything but I either miss an opportunity to say something good or miss something blindingly obvious. On occasion, I've told myself that such a girl was not that into me but later on when mentally reviewing what happened it might seem that she was!

The latest occurance of this happened last night with this girl that I've been on a date with. First date for drinks last Thursday went well but was nothing special, ended with a kiss on the lips. I texted back and forth a few times over the weekend and asked her to go see a movie tonight (she had mentioned wanting to see it). She texted back saying she had a dinner talk but would next week be ok (I'm busy for rest of week)

Here's the thing, I ring her last night just to say hello. I feel that with previous girls, I haven't really kept up enough communication. Ringing only to set up dates has been working poorly for me, maybe it makes me come across as pushy.

Anyways, the usual fluff chat and she mentions that she doesn't actually have the talk but that she'll still be busy with stuff and tidying her rooom as a friend is coming on Wednesday. My mindset was that she was busy tonight so I wasn't bothered what excuse she used.

5 minutes off the phone, my brain registered that a girl had used TIDYING HER ROOM as an excuse and I hadn't even called her on it! I mean if a friend told me a girl said that to him, I would have been laughing at him. In the moment though, my brain seemed on some kind of autopilot and only snaps out of it afterwards.

Its especially odd as the first time I rang her, I was in a "gotta set up a date" mode, and blew past a few weak excuses to set up the date last Thursday. I mean the girl is still an option, but its frustrating how my mind shut down when talking with a girl who's really only ok.

 

[specialed]

personally i believe it comes with practice. obviously you understand what was going on after...so that's a start.

next time...if anyone makes an excuse...take a step back...think about it for a couple seconds...and then make a comment.

personally i do 2 or 3 strikes and ur out when it comes to setting anything up. she's busy? okay what about this day? no? how about this weekend? no? *chuckle* then call me when ur free...click.

recently i had this problem...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=110561

and to add onto that...the next day she TEXTED me saying that "i'm sorry for the **** i said yesterday"

"if she wants to play games like this, she can go **** the monopoly guy"

 

[d9930380]

It's normal for me too. I freeze (like you did) when I get a red flag, I don't know what to do because I feel I'm already rejected and don't want to make it more embarrassing - however at the time I don't know that that's what's happening.

Chances are, she was subtly trying to let you know that she wasn't interested and your gut took over. Some girls do this to test a guy's confidence - will a rejection make him bail with his tail between his legs but most of the time it's just what it is, a rejection. Either way don't let yourself get too hung up on it, go with your gut when asking is this one worth persevering.

 

[everywomanshero]

OK I didn't read all the details, but it sounds like your social thermostat might be a little low? If you aren't in daily communication with new people each day, then it can be that you just don't have enough practice.

If this is the case try some new activities. Join toastmasters, make new friends, get #s off dating sites and use them just for practice if they don't live anywhere near you, join a comedy or acting course. Sell your TV, cancel the cable, take that money and go do something cool.

It's important to have lots of quality conversations for lots of reasons beyond picking up women.

 

[vorbis]

the social thermostat comment could be true. I am fairly social and do chat away to most people. Right now though, I have no ongoing interests outside work (do play soccer at work and go to gym) so taking up something new would help meet new people.

I reckon the girl in the example is still interested, texted her today about fluff stuff and asked is her room clean? I can be fairly sarcastic and I'm wondering if she picked up on it. She texted back anyway saying her room is spotless. I'm thinking of bringing it up next time I talk to her in a "I can't believe i didn't call you out on that excuse". With previous girls, I've felt I haven't really called them on bad behaviour.