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Anyone else finding politics in US are affecting relationships and friendships?

Dash Riprock

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This is NOT a politically charged post about red or blue states so please don't take it in that direction. Thank you in advance.
I'm curious if anyone else has experienced strain on certain relationships over the current political climate in the US.

I have 6 close friends, inner circle if you will. All I've known for over 20 years and some more than 30. 4 are die-hard, entrenched on one side of the political fence, basically parroting talking points from the news channel they watch. It's like they've been hypnotized and lost the ability to critically think.

Some people may say, "Just talk about something else." Ok, I get that. But I think with men in particular, topics like finance, world events, taxes, business, etc., are very common discussion points--far more than of which women discuss when they get together--in which politics plays an important role. So, inevitably the conversation turns to one person firing a shot and denigrating red or blue state philosophy depending on what side of the fence they're on. It then escalates from there.

Over the course of the past few months, I've had "discussions" escalate to (almost) all-out arguments about a particular ideology. For me, someone who is passionate about the direction of our country, it's really, really hard to turn the other cheek. Plus, I come away from these "discussions" wondering what else they think if they are buying into theory and ideology X, Y, and Z. I feel your belief set is a direct reflection of your moral compass, thought process, and character, things that are all important in the selection of friends.

So sadly, I've had to put some distance between me and some very close friends. Sucks, but I feel how I feel.

Anyone else experiencing this?

Ciao,
~Dash~
 

EyeBRollin

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Yes, but in the opposite direction. I’ve actually moderated a bit. Last excellent sex plate I had was a die hard fanatic opposite on the political spectrum as me. Otherwise a great girl. I dropped her when she asked for a relationship because I assumed it just wouldn’t be a fit. In hindsight, I threw away quality pvssy over an ideological position that in the bigger picture doesn’t matter that much. We all want the similar things in society, just have different interpretations. I have met better gals than her since, but the sexual chemistry I had was top tier and is more important than any political philosophy.
 

Von

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Never speak Politics and Religion. Golden rule of being social

To answer OP.
I find people feedup of talking politics and those of speak are closed to any 2nd opinion (they camp their position without tolerance)
 

Hamurabimbi

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I’m a Red guy in a very Blue area. I’m not shy about my positions. My organization & employees are definitely Non-Woke. So no issue there. Most of my friends are a-political or, like me, it’s just part if them, but not who they are. We don’t talk about politcs. As for girls. Most haven’t expressed much politically. I’ve never had one reject me for politics. The worst I got was ‘thats disappointing’. But it didnt affect our dating. Even my SWJ Zoomer ex- dropped her hardcore stances.
i found Covid. My non-masking snd non-vacc’g was more divisive. But that’s over now.
 

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Dash Riprock

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Never speak Politics and Religion. Golden rule of being social
This is very true for newer friends, acquaintances, and certainly girls your dating. But for people who have been long-time friends, I'm finding it harder and harder to avoid the subject as there's a higher comfort level with these people and politics infuses and affects almost every facet of life today.

Sometimes it's like standing next to a bonfire and trying to ignore the heat.
 
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Who Dares Win

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If someone is a long time friend you have to share certain principles and values and most of them interconnect with political areas.

Let me explain if you believe a man should be free to live as he wants and own his own money you have certain principles while others may believe that collectivity comes before individual interest, hardly such opposing views allow two to become best friends.

In my case being myself a libertarian I share points with both conservative and progressives so I just make sure to focus on what we share and avoid what we dont...clearly a very religious man cant do the same.

I'm not hardcore in politics neither are my friends so it's not big deal even when we have different point of views.
 

SW15

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Anyone else experiencing this?
Yes. I noticed that the political climate in the USA took a turn for the worse with the events of 2008 and never recovered.

Yes, it has strained certain relationships in my life. I'm not able to discuss politics with certain male friends with whom I have longer term friendships. I don't discuss these issues in romantic interactions either. There's also strain in relation to certain familial interactions.
 

HaleyBaron

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I learned the hard way right after college. Politics is creeping up into every topic, it is making it harder to talk with people without someone getting angered or upset.
 
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zekko

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I have a long time friend who is on the opposite side of the spectrum. I've dealt with it mostly by not discussing it. Once in a while I will bring up some small aspect of current events, usually something that I don't have particularly strong feelings about. He got pretty wound up during the discussion, but I just took the attitude that I admired his passion, even if I didn't agree with him. Since, as I said, it wasn't something I particularly cared about, it was pretty easy. But I won't get too deep into it with him, although I've thought about it.

Thing is, I grew up with him, and I know there are things we agree about. I think some of his current leanings are the influence of his significant other. Anyway, for the most part I try to avoid it. My girlfriend tells me about her friends from the opposite side, and I always advise her not to discuss it with them. It seems to me that the opposite side is very rigid, and they will cut off friendships if you don't agree with them. I'm not on Facebook, but I know of several recent incidents of someone unfriending the other because of their political leaning. This is all from one side, but that may be a coincidence.

It's too bad, but the two sides have grown so far apart that on the extreme ends, there is no common ground. In the more moderate areas there still is. I don't know what the solution is, but I would like there to be one.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I don't know what the solution is, but I would like there to be one.
Time. The country as a whole keeps moving to the left, there's a lot of stored energy in the pendulum to rebalance.
 

HaleyBaron

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This is all from one side, but that may be a coincidence.
It's not. 99% of the time, the leftists of the friendship will cut out the other people due to their doctrine telling them to exclude anyone that is not in the tribe. Had it happen way too many times for it to be a coincidence. Anyone not a leftists was always willing to have a discussion, which shows it's an idealogical and mental difference.
 

zekko

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Time. The country as a whole keeps moving to the left, there's a lot of stored energy in the pendulum to rebalance.
I'm not so sure. Some theorize this is the natural direction as societies evolve over time, it could be our ultimate fate. I hope you're right, but I'm not optimistic.
 

Serenity

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I'm not American and the political climate here in Norway isn't as toxic, but some people still have very strong opinions about things. Whenever I discuss politics with someone I stick to discussing concrete policy changes, none of that tribalism bullsh!t. No party is perfect and I think the fact that we have more than 2 major political parties helps avoid dumbing down politics to left vs. right, it's much harder to simply pick one side or the other without going a bit more into detail and have more developed opinion.

I'm open for discussing it and most of the time mutual respect is maintained even if we ultimately disagree. If someone were to get heated and unable to form arguments in a civil manner I just disengage the conversation entirely. There are some specific people I know not to discuss politics with because I know we disagree on a lot of things, I know they can't behave, can't discuss in good faith and there's no point as they're not open to consider anything else anyways.

If I have to put distance between myself and a friend over politics, it will not be my fault. I don't mind being friends with someone with opposing political opinions and I have no need to discuss politics with everyone. However, if a friend disagrees with me politically, refuses to discuss in good faith and insists on bringing it up for discussion when we just can't discuss it respectfully, then I'm going to distance myself from them. I want friends who are good company, they're not if they can't respect my opinions. I'm willing to respect theirs and I expect the same in return.

I don't really have this issue with friends, but there are a couple of coworkers I strongly disagree with. I respect the fact that they have a different opinion, they actually return that respect and the fact that I'm not willing to discuss it with them.

So bottom line is, if respect for difference of opinion is lost then you can kiss the friendship goodbye. If there's no respect I would argue there's not really much of a friendship to talk about.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I'm not so sure. Some theorize this is the natural direction as societies evolve over time, it could be our ultimate fate. I hope you're right, but I'm not optimistic.
I agree it's a natural direction (see Sir John Glubb's Fate of Empires) but we're also being given a strong push which is shocking people into (hopefully) eventually resisting.
 

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Who Dares Win

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I'm not so sure. Some theorize this is the natural direction as societies evolve over time, it could be our ultimate fate. I hope you're right, but I'm not optimistic.
The two opposite sides are not left vs right, it's collectivism vs individualism.

Needless to say what those in charge of rules, school system and media want from the two options.
 

Kotaix

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Yes, for sure. I have family members who are straight up hardcore socialists who advocate for wealth confiscation, and I think that their views are both stupid and dangerous. But they are family and they are fundamentally good and compassionate people; so I keep my opinions to myself because I have learned my lesson on trying to change anyone's minds.

The problem is that the "news" have just become liars and propagandists. I have def broken off friendships with people who use their soapbox to parrot media lies because talking to them is like talking to a wall. Like @Serenity said I'm very much willing to have a civil discussion with people, but I find that most of them now have irrational views that no amount of logic or evidence can penetrate.

All of this is straight out of Yuri Bezmenov's description of the KGB's playbook when it comes to ideological subversion. This kind of division is all part of the plan.
 

Serenity

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Like @Serenity said I'm very much willing to have a civil discussion with people, but I find that most of them now have irrational views that no amount of logic or evidence can penetrate.
I want to clarify that it's not so much that they have "irrational" views and I'm unable to reach them with logic or evidence. Of course their view is irrational in my own view and perhaps they're emotionally attached to their views to the point they won't accept any logic or evidence. I can tolerate that and let it rest out of respect for what good we do share in common.

What does rub me the wrong way is when they can't have that same respect and insist on shoving it down my throat when I've made it clear I'm not interested in having that discussion with them. At that point the friendship itself matters less than their opinions about something that's really external to the friendship, I just find that very disrespectful.

It's not about the opinions, it's about the attitude.
 

Kotaix

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I want to clarify that it's not so much that they have "irrational" views and I'm unable to reach them with logic or evidence. Of course their view is irrational in my own view and perhaps they're emotionally attached to their views to the point they won't accept any logic or evidence. I can tolerate that and let it rest out of respect for what good we do share in common.

What does rub me the wrong way is when they can't have that same respect and insist on shoving it down my throat when I've made it clear I'm not interested in having that discussion with them. At that point the friendship itself matters less than their opinions about something that's really external to the friendship, I just find that very disrespectful.

It's not about the opinions, it's about the attitude.
It's cult behavior. You either conform to the cult beliefs, or you're kicked out and treated like you don't exist, which is cancel culture.
 

Serenity

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It's cult behavior. You either conform to the cult beliefs, or you're kicked out and treated like you don't exist, which is cancel culture.
That's great if you ask me. I always keep calm, hysterical people rapidly resolve to "kicking me out and treating me like I don't exist". Joke is on them though, they did exactly what I wanted and I literally did nothing to get rid of them. Their happy little delusion that they "won" ensures they keep away, what more can I ask? It's perfect!
 
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