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Anyone else completely over it?!

ink_wizard

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Turning 32 in a couple of months and it’s starting to kick in that my chances of ever finding “the one” are diminishing bit by bit. I have done so much work on myself these last couple of years after my big break up to get to a place where I’m ready to truly date. I’ve lost a heap of weight, discovered hobbies, good job, worked on my mental and physical health along with my spirituality and it’s made no difference. I’ve been doing OLD for the past few months, and have met some people and there was probably about two I thought I was compatiable with, great connections and a lot of attraction, same long term goals and great dates/sex and I thought I may have struck victory, only to be disappointed and blown up in my face that we are not in fact as compatiable as I thought due to various things. It’s reaffirmed to me all over again why I shouldn’t get involved with people and put myself out there because I only end up getting burnt time and time again and I’m completely over it. There’s only so much heart break one can take.

It’s got to the stage now where I’m just starting to accept that I do better in life when I’m single and doing my own thing with no distractions that I don’t even want to entertain the thought of ever dating again. I guess you could say after so many years of dating, rejections, horrible break ups, putting my heart on my sleeve that I’m just feeling jaded and cynical with it all now that I just don’t trust people anymore and I don’t have the energy to keep putting myself out there, hoping to meet the one just to be let down time and time again.

I know I’m still young and it’s premature to think like this but I just can’t see it ever happening for me, my fairy tale ending. Some people are just destined to be single and that’s how it is. The thought of going on dates again and trying to build connections with people sounds so exhausting and I can’t be bothered which I know indicates I need to take a break from it all but I don’t know if I’ll ever find that enthusiasm and determination that I once had to seek that out again. Once bitten, twice why I guess you could say.

I guess I needed to vent and let this out but I am wondering if anyone else feels the same and is completely done with the whole thing ?
 

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ragnarP

Don Juan
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Why are you trying to find "the one" to begin with. I strongly recommend that you read the rational male by Rollo Tomassi. He dismantles the whole soul mate myth and explains how this idea is damaging to us. A woman will not give you a fairy tale ending, she can be there with you when you make it happen for yourself but she won't be the cause of it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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your 32 , any woman your age will be mentally and spiritually broken, dont forget these chics get 100 date offers a day, there is a reason they are single
Does that corrupt their mind and view?
 
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ink_wizard

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Because consistently having meaningless sex with chicks gets old after a while, it would be nice to meet someone to create something a bit more substantial... I have read articles and bibles on this site and I agree with a lot of it to an extent but as much as I love banging them for Free, it would be nice to meet one I can share more with
 

Hal9000

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It sucks to have a bad breakup, and takiing a break from dating may be a good idea, but you'll know when you're ready to give it another try. Rest assured that most people go through what you're feeling when a long term relationship doesn't work out. Things will get better.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Kotaix

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It’s got to the stage now where I’m just starting to accept that I do better in life when I’m single and doing my own thing with no distractions that I don’t even want to entertain the thought of ever dating again.
Your misery is your own doing. You've been postponing your happiness into some indeterminate future where you find the perfect woman, and you get more depressed every time it doesn't work out. The problem is that perfection doesn't exist, that future will never come, and you'll continue to be bitter forever unless you drop the disney princess fantasy.

Believe it or not, you're very much on the right track by giving up on finding a perfect woman. Once you do that and start living a life that has meaning for you, women will find you.

Do or do not, there is no try.
 
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EyeBRollin

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"The one" is a pipe dream.

Find a nice young lady younger than 27. Make sure she's giving, thoughtful, and you're sexually attracted to her. Keep her interest high for as long as possible. That's who you "settle down" with. Don't try to search for some perfect gal.. they don't exist.

I personally think monogamy as a whole is a pipe dream. However, keep your adulterous actions discreet to preserve her mental sanity.
 

ink_wizard

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"The one" is a pipe dream.

Find a nice young lady younger than 27. Make sure she's giving, thoughtful, and you're sexually attracted to her. Keep her interest high for as long as possible. That's who you "settle down" with. Don't try to search for some perfect gal.. they don't exist.

I personally think monogamy as a whole is a pipe dream. However, keep your adulterous actions discreet to preserve her mental sanity.
Girls that age are never ready to settle down, they still want to party and slut around... Haven't come across one that has showed me anything in different. Girls my age aren't any better.
 

EyeBRollin

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Girls that age are never ready to settle down, they still want to party and slut around... Haven't come across one that has showed me anything in different. Girls my age aren't any better.
That’s not a fact. Women settle for the right man (“right” means 95% interest level). Your job is to make her fall in love with you, then keep it here. That means take her out on dates, make her laugh, and have sex with her. Rinse and repeat.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

ink_wizard

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QUOTE="EyeBRollin, post: 2714462, member: 131023"]
That’s not a fact. Women settle for the right man (“right” means 95% interest level). Your job is to make her fall in love with you, then keep it here. That means take her out on dates, make her laugh, and have sex with her. Rinse and repeat.
[/QUOTE]
Was actually doing this recently with a 42 yr old single mum, great dates, great sex, lots of attraction, met her parents and kids and she was head over heels with me after 6 weeks and was even talking marriage and wanting to get engaged this year and not wanting to wait too long to get in a relationship with me. Out of the blue one day she tells me she's not looking for anything serious at the moment but might consider a relationship with me months down the track when "she's ready"... Complete opposite to what she was projecting during our time again.

She isn't the only one I've had incidents like this with, with all age groups too. I don't know if I can be bothered to do it all again honestly, it drains you and leaves you with a bitter taste at the end.
 

derby1

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i went through a period 3 years ago where my income raised quite healthily

the 26 year old childless woman i was dating turned into a virtuous 1950s lady over night and started talking Long term

she even removed most blokes off her fb without me mentioning it

she was quite good company before this , but the way she shifted it up a gear was humorous

like @EyeBRollin says they act accordingly for the "right man"
 

CptRomn

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That’s not a fact. Women settle for the right man (“right” means 95% interest level). Your job is to make her fall in love with you, then keep it here. That means take her out on dates, make her laugh, and have sex with her. Rinse and repeat.

Eh, women will settle for the right man= does not remotely equate to 95% interest level. In most instances I'd argue it means she's doing just that, settling. Just cause she removes blokes off fb and acts you are the only male in her life doesn't mean you actually are. In this modern age if a chick settles for you and is ready to marry you more than likely you are getting played for a sucker. In 2 -3 years you will be dumped and 1/2 your assets will be hers, leaving you as a shell of a man. Op sounds beyond pathethic , getting his heart crushed by a 43 y.o women with kids, wtf. Have some self-respect Op. You obviously didn't do much in monk mode cause your lack of confidence seeps through my computer screen. I rather jack off every night then settle for someone else's trash. The reality as all these men have stated is there is no " the one". I'll add AWALT and marriage is for suckers. Unless you REALLY want kids and can accept that in a few years your girl will likely stray, but, "hey I've sired offspring and am bound to her till they are 18," then marriage is a loss bro.

You are 31 , if you are as successfuly as you claim. Get out there have about 2-3 chicks you slay, tx em like your gf,enjoy the best of both worlds with way less risk. If you are unable to do that, you mentally /physically aren't where you need to be bro. It's fierce out here.
 

oldmanofthesea

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Girls that age are never ready to settle down, they still want to party and slut around... Haven't come across one that has showed me anything in different.
Because you are looking for the love of your life on OLD. High quality women in OLD are very rare. You should know that and understand why if you have done your homework here.

Was actually doing this recently with a 42 yr old single mum, great dates, great sex, lots of attraction, met her parents and kids and she was head over heels with me after 6 weeks and was even talking marriage and wanting to get engaged this year and not wanting to wait too long to get in a relationship with me. Out of the blue one day she tells me she's not looking for anything serious at the moment but might consider a relationship with me months down the track when "she's ready"... Complete opposite to what she was projecting during our time again.
Instead of being frustrated by this, you should have LEARNED from it. Learned that a girl who gets that invested after just 6 weeks likely has mental issues and is going to fall out of love just as fast and irrationally as she falls into love. The fact that YOU were into her going that fast, and meeting her parents etc tells me you too have a lot of work to do on yourself still...... namely that you still believe in “the one” and you are needy. You are looking for a missing piece to fill a void in your life but you can’t put that on a girl. That problem is YOURS to solve. You must be happy and content, living your best life. A woman will NOT complete you.

I also question why you say you’ve worked on yourself for two years and read the DJ bible and other things here yet still talk repeatedly about “the one.” That should be a red flag to yourself right there.
 
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