"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Anybody know about this?
- Thread starter sosilky
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I've decided to stop searching. Stop seeking it until I truly love myself. I post a lot of stuff on here that is spot on, but I've just realized I need to be practice what I preach.
um...okMavrick said:No, because you can't. Just take it for what it is. .
so you are saying do these things and she won't betray you? aren't there other guys out there that could do the same for her?Mavrick said:The only way to trust a woman is to be a challenge and keep up the intrigue.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Women don't chase guys who are up their butts. They want the guy that's a challenge. It's not even possible for her to chase a guy that's chasing her.sosilky said:so you are saying do these things and she won't betray you? aren't there other guys out there that could do the same for her?
Purple-Haze
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2008
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This is a very general question - too general to produce any solid answers.sosilky said:Anybody know of any good articles or posts on trust? or trusting women?
Are you talking about trust in an LTR? Trust with regards to a ONS? Narrow the scope of your question and then maybe you'll get some feedback.
WC2
Master Don Juan
No, I don't believe he's saying that.sosilky said:so you are saying do these things and she won't betray you? aren't there other guys out there that could do the same for her?
You have to understand that women work on emotions. They are not built on logic. A woman typically will not 'logically' be trustworthy. If you TELL her to not do something, chances are she will. However, if you make her feel as if she should not do something, she probably won't.
This is where being the prize to a woman comes in. If you are always pushing a woman to win you over, then she will 'feel' as if she can't betray you. Why? Because she feels that if she makes a wrong move, she will lose you. However, if she already has you in her grasp, what does she have to lose?
Now this is not to say that you can't love a woman (obviously). You can love a woman as much as you like. The main idea is to keep your life in your own sights and don't become dedicated to hers.
Trust is a complicated thing that cannot be answered as easily as you ask it to be. Most of the time learning the hard way is the only way.
ready123
Master Don Juan
he's asking about trust, not "how do I not come across needy". read the question before answering
if it's LTR trust, I'm curious what other people have to say too. only thoughts I have is that it has to be earned, over time it becomes one of the pillars of a meaningful LTR, and it's one of those things you should always qualify the girl for, ONS or not
The answer to TRUST is by being a challenge. A woman who thinks you are the catch (which can't be done by being needy) will not make a wrong move. She'll always make sure she has your best interest at heart.ready123 said:half the answers don't make any sense
he's asking about trust, not "how do I not come across needy". read the question before answering
if it's LTR trust, I'm curious what other people have to say too. only thoughts I have is that it has to be earned, over time it becomes one of the pillars of a meaningful LTR, and it's one of those things you should always qualify the girl for, ONS or not
Even in a LTR, you have to have your OWN life. You have to have your own things you enjoy and love. That keeps you interesting and keeps up the intrigue. Women Stay on their toes for guys like that.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Mavrick said:The answer to TRUST is by being a challenge. A woman who thinks you are the catch (which can't be done by being needy) will not make a wrong move. She'll always make sure she has your best interest at heart.
Even in a LTR, you have to have your OWN life. You have to have your own things you enjoy and love. That keeps you interesting and keeps up the intrigue. Women Stay on their toes for guys like that.
Is it possible to maintain this intrigue at all times? we all have ups and downs. Am I to beoive that if i hit a rough patch I'm gonig to be cheated on? Are n't there other factors that cause wpmen to be distrustful? Maybe she runs into an ex or some other guy that just happens to spark her interest.
I guess I just feel like your sayiing if the women can't be trusted its your fault
Mavrick said:The answer to TRUST is by being a challenge. A woman who thinks you are the catch (which can't be done by being needy) will not make a wrong move. She'll always make sure she has your best interest at heart.
Even in a LTR, you have to have your OWN life. You have to have your own things you enjoy and love. That keeps you interesting and keeps up the intrigue. Women Stay on their toes for guys like that.
Is it possible to maintain this intrigue at all times? we all have ups and downs. Am I to beoive that if i hit a rough patch I'm gonig to be cheated on? Are n't there other factors that cause wpmen to be distrustful? Maybe she runs into an ex or some other guy that just happens to spark her interest.is there a fine line between being dervoted to all those things and making her feel neglected?
I guess I just feel like your sayiing if the women can't be trusted its your fault
If you're dating a woman that you have to worry about, then you have no respect for yourself. In which case, it is your fault. Always find the best for YOU. You don't have to go out and find chicks that will impress everyone else. You have to put up with this b1tch, so you better find one that will add to your happiness and not take away from it.sosilky said:I guess I just feel like your sayiing if the women can't be trusted its your fault
Can you see where I am going here? I hope so!
Mavrick said:If you're dating a woman that you have to worry about, then you have no respect for yourself. In which case, it is your fault. Always find the best for YOU. You don't have to go out and find chicks that will impress everyone else. You have to put up with this b1tch, so you better find one that will add to your happiness and not take away from it.
Can you see where I am going here? I hope so!
i think i might be starting too
This is why you qualify women.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
reset said:You trust a woman once she has demonstrated to you, over time, with consistent actions that she can be trusted. This doesn't mean you assume she's untrustworthy right off the bat. But you don't know until you know.
This is why you qualify women.
I guess I just have a problem with that becsause had i not been skeptical of the last one (and she gave no reason for me to be) i nvestagated anyways and found that she was also seeing another guy. At this point I could still have not known and totaly trusted her. but that relationship was only lik e a month or two old so maybe i shouldn't hold that against her. But it also could be a clue that shes not gonna ever be trust worthy. is it possible for a relationship to build when it starts that way?
Anywas Mavrick and ready have said some interesting things. I guess I just wish i could trust people. i don't like feeling this way. it almost makes me feel like why is trust so important anyway? lol like you know how some people have these relationships where people just take what eachother say with a grain of salt or roll their eyes and let it go cause they just don'rt want to deal with the drama yet still enjoy eachothers company? i find that intersting. ifigure why not just be honest. or does the truth just hurt?
ready123
Master Don Juan
lol that sounds poetic but conceptually it makes no senseMavrick said:The answer to TRUST is by being a challenge.
you act like a challenge if you're needy to fake it until internalize a more balanced reality. you act like a challenge by doing push-pull to add intrigue when running attraction game
trust has nothing to do with either. trust is something you use in an ONS to kill last minute resistance and flaking, or something REAL you build over time in a relationship
ready123
Master Don Juan
notice where all these thoughts are coming from - the fear of getting cheated on. instead of trying to be more alpha or whatever, as an anticipated reaction to a girlfriend cheating (AKA if I do this and this and this, then she won't cheat and I won't have to worry anymore), just accept reality. reality is that you can't control everythingsosilky said:Is it possible to maintain this intrigue at all times? we all have ups and downs. Am I to beoive that if i hit a rough patch I'm gonig to be cheated on? Are n't there other factors that cause wpmen to be distrustful? Maybe she runs into an ex or some other guy that just happens to spark her interest.is there a fine line between being dervoted to all those things and making her feel neglected?
if you think that a girlfriend cheating on you is the worst thing that can happen to you, you're not ready for a relationship. the guys that are well-rounded go into LTR's knowing they can't control everything, but if the girl cheats, you don't put a gun to your head. you learn from it and move on
you learn from every failed relationship just like you learn from every failed appraoch. your skin gets thicker and the stuff your friends cry about it, you learn to reframe in a positive way
Mistic
Senior Don Juan
You will feel when someone is being straight with you or not. Right now this is the best way to trust people. Trust your intuition.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.