Quite a few here have said that women find men boring who talk and ask questions relating to jobs, family, school and other issues on dates. Does anyone have suggestions for different conversations that could keep a woman's excitement and interest during initial dates and help lead to chemistry? It tends to be natural to want to drift into the topics mentioned above.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Any Suggestions for Conversations During Dates?
- Thread starter Frank2500
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
md3sign
Senior Don Juan
I'm not an expert on this by any means, but those things can lead to other topics, so they can briefly be brought up. Example:
You ask how the day went and she says something about her working. You can ask where she works and then go from there. I know a girl who works at Hollister. I worked there for 2 weeks about a year ago, so as soon as that was brought up I made the connection and soon enough we were having laughs about the dumb managers, stuck-up coworkers, etc. On the flipside, other times their job seems boring and I can't relate at all, so I move on.
I believe it's a good idea to briefly touch on subjects like work, family, school, etc so you can find out about the person's life, goals, ambitions, outlook, etc. Basically if they're worth going out with again. So I don't think those topics need to be avoided, as long as you can turn them into something fun and not dwell on them.
You ask how the day went and she says something about her working. You can ask where she works and then go from there. I know a girl who works at Hollister. I worked there for 2 weeks about a year ago, so as soon as that was brought up I made the connection and soon enough we were having laughs about the dumb managers, stuck-up coworkers, etc. On the flipside, other times their job seems boring and I can't relate at all, so I move on.
I believe it's a good idea to briefly touch on subjects like work, family, school, etc so you can find out about the person's life, goals, ambitions, outlook, etc. Basically if they're worth going out with again. So I don't think those topics need to be avoided, as long as you can turn them into something fun and not dwell on them.
Docs
Banned
^ Yep.
And..for the sheer sake of it, FLIRT. If you DO NOT FLIRT, you WILL NOT HAVE A SECOND DATE.
So, case in point, learn to flirt, do it well, do it often, do it on purpose and do it without thinking. A guy that doesn't FLIRT is boring, even if you have a cool life.
And..for the sheer sake of it, FLIRT. If you DO NOT FLIRT, you WILL NOT HAVE A SECOND DATE.
So, case in point, learn to flirt, do it well, do it often, do it on purpose and do it without thinking. A guy that doesn't FLIRT is boring, even if you have a cool life.
Docs
Banned
When you run out of steam..be boring.. :| I don't agree with this. Rather, intergrate these types of questions (where you work, what do you want to be, etc) into your flirting.....
The 2nd simpliest way (aside from direct questioning), play a game. I beat you want to be a doctor...no...maybe....I know it! You want to be the sexiest model alive. Not that either...I bet that...(and you kinda knew this answer..) I bet a kiss if I get this right? (Yeah). I beat you want to be (whatever hits the mark). This is a quick bang done kiss, it's meant to get her thinking about a longer one.
Always moving towards a greater purpose
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
bmack
Don Juan
Hey Frank thats a very good qstn. First impressions often or always determine whether a girl wants to continue seeing you or not, so always make sure you leave her with exciting thoughts. try to keep your dates spontaneous and exciting. Dont be ordinary, try jet skiing or go-cart racing something adrenalin driven, at least this will prevent you from asking boring qstns n being ordinary.
Trust me she'll never forget it...
Trust me she'll never forget it...
Docs
Banned
Nice idea! She might be a little bit scared to do it though.
I see the point, bang on. I like to teach girls how to drive (it's goddamn funny, tons of Kino, flirting possiblities (over exgaration (you took this turn like this (and overly do it))). And then, after that, I take them on my 2 minutes of racing style driving (wink). And, a trick I found out, reverse 180...270...360.+ = sheer fright. They never expect it, especially if you seem like that random kinda guy .Re:
Thanks so much for your responses, folks. I don't know which of you can help me out with my dilemma here-not owning a car is a big problem in terms of trying to date women initially...especially when it comes to going out at night. Most women I've met don't feel uncomfortable offering to pick you up at your place for example after the second date, and then a third date is often not a guarantee at all. It's tough. To the poster who suggested cart-racing and jet skiing, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but you know...I'm a black guy...I've pretty much never done stuff like that and don't even know where one could do stuff like that in Philly. Plus, I don't want to go break my neck.
Thanks so much for your responses, folks. I don't know which of you can help me out with my dilemma here-not owning a car is a big problem in terms of trying to date women initially...especially when it comes to going out at night. Most women I've met don't feel uncomfortable offering to pick you up at your place for example after the second date, and then a third date is often not a guarantee at all. It's tough. To the poster who suggested cart-racing and jet skiing, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but you know...I'm a black guy...I've pretty much never done stuff like that and don't even know where one could do stuff like that in Philly. Plus, I don't want to go break my neck.
md3sign
Senior Don Juan
You can offer to meet her for dinner somewhere. Then take the bus or walk if it's close by. If it's close you can always use the excuse "I walked cause it's close by my house". Second/third dates might be tough though. I dunno, if she likes you she'll understand.Frank2500 said:Thanks so much for your responses, folks. I don't know which of you can help me out with my dilemma here-not owning a car is a big problem in terms of trying to date women initially...especially when it comes to going out at night. Most women I've met don't feel uncomfortable offering to pick you up at your place for example after the second date, and then a third date is often not a guarantee at all. It's tough. To the poster who suggested cart-racing and jet skiing, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but you know...I'm a black guy...I've pretty much never done stuff like that and don't even know where one could do stuff like that in Philly. Plus, I don't want to go break my neck.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
The reason every guy talks about those things is that they're important in getting to know the person. It's not AFCish to talk about jobs, family, etc. You just have to make it a point not to dwell on those things but instead to move on to interests (preferably hers). If you don't share her interests/passions and all you care about is sex, then lie and pretend that you have them in common. If you're interested in a real relationship, then let the chemistry die and keep looking for a woman who does share your interests.
And yes, flirting is obviously key. That goes for whenever you talk to any woman other than your mother, date or no date. That should go without saying.
And yes, flirting is obviously key. That goes for whenever you talk to any woman other than your mother, date or no date. That should go without saying.
Docs
Banned
It's a personal touch type of thing. Those things can work, but normally you'll develop your own style of flirting, mine for example is being a huggable person. Secondly, it's teasing, and third...over-exgraggation.. (goddamn I can't spell that today). That's the main way I flirt.Frank2500 said:
Re:
Well...I in the past two months, I went out on two dates with a 35 year old woman and she actually was more superficial than any of the women my age and below (I'm 28) that I have met so far. I didn't dwell too much on talking about jobs, career, etc. but even when I tried to get her to open up about her interests, I noticed she just couldn't hold an intelligent conversation. Anyway, perhaps given her age, she was seeking someone more professionally established, as I will be graduating in May with my Master's degrees and I don't yet own my own place nor have a car. Anyway, on to the next woman.
Well...I in the past two months, I went out on two dates with a 35 year old woman and she actually was more superficial than any of the women my age and below (I'm 28) that I have met so far. I didn't dwell too much on talking about jobs, career, etc. but even when I tried to get her to open up about her interests, I noticed she just couldn't hold an intelligent conversation. Anyway, perhaps given her age, she was seeking someone more professionally established, as I will be graduating in May with my Master's degrees and I don't yet own my own place nor have a car. Anyway, on to the next woman.