Quite a few here have said that women find men boring who talk and ask questions relating to jobs, family, school and other issues on dates. Does anyone have suggestions for different conversations that could keep a woman's excitement and interest during initial dates and help lead to chemistry? It tends to be natural to want to drift into the topics mentioned above.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Any Suggestions for Conversations During Dates?
- Thread starter Frank2500
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
md3sign
Senior Don Juan
I'm not an expert on this by any means, but those things can lead to other topics, so they can briefly be brought up. Example:
You ask how the day went and she says something about her working. You can ask where she works and then go from there. I know a girl who works at Hollister. I worked there for 2 weeks about a year ago, so as soon as that was brought up I made the connection and soon enough we were having laughs about the dumb managers, stuck-up coworkers, etc. On the flipside, other times their job seems boring and I can't relate at all, so I move on.
I believe it's a good idea to briefly touch on subjects like work, family, school, etc so you can find out about the person's life, goals, ambitions, outlook, etc. Basically if they're worth going out with again. So I don't think those topics need to be avoided, as long as you can turn them into something fun and not dwell on them.
You ask how the day went and she says something about her working. You can ask where she works and then go from there. I know a girl who works at Hollister. I worked there for 2 weeks about a year ago, so as soon as that was brought up I made the connection and soon enough we were having laughs about the dumb managers, stuck-up coworkers, etc. On the flipside, other times their job seems boring and I can't relate at all, so I move on.
I believe it's a good idea to briefly touch on subjects like work, family, school, etc so you can find out about the person's life, goals, ambitions, outlook, etc. Basically if they're worth going out with again. So I don't think those topics need to be avoided, as long as you can turn them into something fun and not dwell on them.
Docs
Banned
^ Yep.
And..for the sheer sake of it, FLIRT. If you DO NOT FLIRT, you WILL NOT HAVE A SECOND DATE.
So, case in point, learn to flirt, do it well, do it often, do it on purpose and do it without thinking. A guy that doesn't FLIRT is boring, even if you have a cool life.
And..for the sheer sake of it, FLIRT. If you DO NOT FLIRT, you WILL NOT HAVE A SECOND DATE.
So, case in point, learn to flirt, do it well, do it often, do it on purpose and do it without thinking. A guy that doesn't FLIRT is boring, even if you have a cool life.
Docs
Banned
When you run out of steam..be boring.. :| I don't agree with this. Rather, intergrate these types of questions (where you work, what do you want to be, etc) into your flirting.....
The 2nd simpliest way (aside from direct questioning), play a game. I beat you want to be a doctor...no...maybe....I know it! You want to be the sexiest model alive. Not that either...I bet that...(and you kinda knew this answer..) I bet a kiss if I get this right? (Yeah). I beat you want to be (whatever hits the mark). This is a quick bang done kiss, it's meant to get her thinking about a longer one.
Always moving towards a greater purpose
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
bmack
Don Juan
Hey Frank thats a very good qstn. First impressions often or always determine whether a girl wants to continue seeing you or not, so always make sure you leave her with exciting thoughts. try to keep your dates spontaneous and exciting. Dont be ordinary, try jet skiing or go-cart racing something adrenalin driven, at least this will prevent you from asking boring qstns n being ordinary.
Trust me she'll never forget it...
Trust me she'll never forget it...
Docs
Banned
Nice idea! She might be a little bit scared to do it though.
I see the point, bang on. I like to teach girls how to drive (it's goddamn funny, tons of Kino, flirting possiblities (over exgaration (you took this turn like this (and overly do it))). And then, after that, I take them on my 2 minutes of racing style driving (wink). And, a trick I found out, reverse 180...270...360.+ = sheer fright. They never expect it, especially if you seem like that random kinda guy .Re:
Thanks so much for your responses, folks. I don't know which of you can help me out with my dilemma here-not owning a car is a big problem in terms of trying to date women initially...especially when it comes to going out at night. Most women I've met don't feel uncomfortable offering to pick you up at your place for example after the second date, and then a third date is often not a guarantee at all. It's tough. To the poster who suggested cart-racing and jet skiing, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but you know...I'm a black guy...I've pretty much never done stuff like that and don't even know where one could do stuff like that in Philly. Plus, I don't want to go break my neck.
Thanks so much for your responses, folks. I don't know which of you can help me out with my dilemma here-not owning a car is a big problem in terms of trying to date women initially...especially when it comes to going out at night. Most women I've met don't feel uncomfortable offering to pick you up at your place for example after the second date, and then a third date is often not a guarantee at all. It's tough. To the poster who suggested cart-racing and jet skiing, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but you know...I'm a black guy...I've pretty much never done stuff like that and don't even know where one could do stuff like that in Philly. Plus, I don't want to go break my neck.
md3sign
Senior Don Juan
You can offer to meet her for dinner somewhere. Then take the bus or walk if it's close by. If it's close you can always use the excuse "I walked cause it's close by my house". Second/third dates might be tough though. I dunno, if she likes you she'll understand.Frank2500 said:Thanks so much for your responses, folks. I don't know which of you can help me out with my dilemma here-not owning a car is a big problem in terms of trying to date women initially...especially when it comes to going out at night. Most women I've met don't feel uncomfortable offering to pick you up at your place for example after the second date, and then a third date is often not a guarantee at all. It's tough. To the poster who suggested cart-racing and jet skiing, I'm not trying to be stereotypical here, but you know...I'm a black guy...I've pretty much never done stuff like that and don't even know where one could do stuff like that in Philly. Plus, I don't want to go break my neck.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
The reason every guy talks about those things is that they're important in getting to know the person. It's not AFCish to talk about jobs, family, etc. You just have to make it a point not to dwell on those things but instead to move on to interests (preferably hers). If you don't share her interests/passions and all you care about is sex, then lie and pretend that you have them in common. If you're interested in a real relationship, then let the chemistry die and keep looking for a woman who does share your interests.
And yes, flirting is obviously key. That goes for whenever you talk to any woman other than your mother, date or no date. That should go without saying.
And yes, flirting is obviously key. That goes for whenever you talk to any woman other than your mother, date or no date. That should go without saying.
Docs
Banned
It's a personal touch type of thing. Those things can work, but normally you'll develop your own style of flirting, mine for example is being a huggable person. Secondly, it's teasing, and third...over-exgraggation.. (goddamn I can't spell that today). That's the main way I flirt.Frank2500 said:
Re:
Well...I in the past two months, I went out on two dates with a 35 year old woman and she actually was more superficial than any of the women my age and below (I'm 28) that I have met so far. I didn't dwell too much on talking about jobs, career, etc. but even when I tried to get her to open up about her interests, I noticed she just couldn't hold an intelligent conversation. Anyway, perhaps given her age, she was seeking someone more professionally established, as I will be graduating in May with my Master's degrees and I don't yet own my own place nor have a car. Anyway, on to the next woman.
Well...I in the past two months, I went out on two dates with a 35 year old woman and she actually was more superficial than any of the women my age and below (I'm 28) that I have met so far. I didn't dwell too much on talking about jobs, career, etc. but even when I tried to get her to open up about her interests, I noticed she just couldn't hold an intelligent conversation. Anyway, perhaps given her age, she was seeking someone more professionally established, as I will be graduating in May with my Master's degrees and I don't yet own my own place nor have a car. Anyway, on to the next woman.