That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Training in whatever martial art does not mean you have to follow the rules of that martial art training outside the classroom. Training is a foundation upon which you can be creative and add your own flavor. Don't be a jackass. You know this.Jariel said:
UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner taught himself grappling/submissions from instructional videos.Slevin said:
If you think the kind of training you get from a martial art like jiu-jitsu won't be really helpful in a real-life fight, you're so very mistaken. On the contrary real-life no-holds-barred fights often go to the ground, and you'll need to be really skilled at groundwork. Just because they don't teach you any street sh*t like eye gouging and biting doesn't mean you can't incorporate that when you need to. And unlike in a UFC fight, most likely your opponent himself won't also be really skilled at jiu-jitsu, so it probably wouldn't be a long, drawn-out fight.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
He was also an accomplished High School wrestler and texas state champ. I highly doubt the original poster can boast the same credentials.Scrumtulescence said:UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner taught himself grappling/submissions from instructional videos.
Was that before or after he taught himself with instructional videos?Slevin said:He was also an accomplished High School wrestler and texas state champ. I highly doubt the original poster can boast the same credentials.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
