You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Training in whatever martial art does not mean you have to follow the rules of that martial art training outside the classroom. Training is a foundation upon which you can be creative and add your own flavor. Don't be a jackass. You know this.Jariel said:
UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner taught himself grappling/submissions from instructional videos.Slevin said:
If you think the kind of training you get from a martial art like jiu-jitsu won't be really helpful in a real-life fight, you're so very mistaken. On the contrary real-life no-holds-barred fights often go to the ground, and you'll need to be really skilled at groundwork. Just because they don't teach you any street sh*t like eye gouging and biting doesn't mean you can't incorporate that when you need to. And unlike in a UFC fight, most likely your opponent himself won't also be really skilled at jiu-jitsu, so it probably wouldn't be a long, drawn-out fight.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
He was also an accomplished High School wrestler and texas state champ. I highly doubt the original poster can boast the same credentials.Scrumtulescence said:UFC middleweight champion Evan Tanner taught himself grappling/submissions from instructional videos.
Was that before or after he taught himself with instructional videos?Slevin said:He was also an accomplished High School wrestler and texas state champ. I highly doubt the original poster can boast the same credentials.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
