"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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any advice on social circle game?

tomato

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any advice on building up social circle?

I am just wondering what you would recommend for building an awesome social circle?

Work in a bar/club? (eg become a ****tail bartender- cool job on the side)
Go out to bars frequently?
Go to classes? (eg salsa, been doing this but often find most are already in their own and the classes rarely get tight knit)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DavenJuan

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In my experiences, ive always naturally built my social circles.

I dont know if building social circles at bars really pay off. Ppl you tend to meet in bars, tend to be the only place that they gather most often.

What activites do you enjoy? if there are commonalities, then you have a foundation to build on when you meet people at those same places. whether it be running marathons, bowling groups, etc.
 

tomato

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Amante Silvestre said:
Go to the bars with your bros. Dont look for new bros in the bars.

Music is an excellent option for expanding your connections. I very highly recommend it. I managed to build a very big (and eventually profitable) social circle through my guitar, bass and drum playing. Some guys DJ and stuff like that. Either way there are TONS of perks down that path, and it usually starts paying off right away (especially the younger you are) even if you're not that talented at first.

thanks you guys - Ive been thinking of music this year - want to get into it - but HOW? going to get a guitar teacher

I enjoy gym
 

evan12

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I have hard time building my social circle too after I moved to a new city
no one seem to look for new friends
 

Kenny Powers

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I'm a huge advocate of social circles as meeting girls through a friend of a friend is one the most effective ways. However, I too have struggled meeting new people outside of my current group.

Try putting yourself out there and inviting new people you meet to hang out with you and your current friends at a bar, party, sports game, event, etc. You can also meet people through your current friends.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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