Any advice for this newbie?

[pushforward]

Hi all,

Thanks for reading. A little background on myself. 21 and shy, a good personality, but no confidence whatsoever. Dumped recently by my first gf, actually cheated on and dumped. So my self esteem is not so high right now. It's been about 8 months, looking to get into dating because I never tried it.

Trying to improve myself and never ever again, "feel lucky" because I got a girl to be with me. I want to have options and want the other person to feel lucky to be with me. I've been reading the DJ bible and lurking on the forums. What I need to work on is approaching. I have this whole anxiety thing about approaching, the most I can muster is a hi with a smile. Nothing more, I'm working my way out of my comfort zone and want to be more outgoing.

I'm striving to be a better me and I've come to ask for help. How did you work on your self confidence and self esteem. How did you get over that anxiety or fear of rejection of the initial approach. I'm still new to this whole thing and I'm dying to get out there, but ultimately afraid to live life to the fullest, haha.

Tired of that burning feeling of why didn't I talk to her or make an approach. I feel bad about it and I want to change that part of me.

I go to the gym religiously, I take online classes through my employer, I work at a school full time, I take vocalclasses. Other than that, I primarily hang out and do whatever fills my time.

My goal is to get better at approaching and date many girls to figure out what I like and don't like. I've been on a few dates with a few hotties since the breakup, but I moved to fast with them and ended up botching things up. I'm coming to you guys and appreciate any advice. I want to turn my life around and improve every aspect of it.

Oh, another note, been reading mystery method, I read lots of self help books and self improvement books. Trying to become more interesting and funny. Watch the pickup artist show and wanting go from AFC to a don juan.

 

[Captain]

Go out and start conversations with random people. Start by making eye contact and saying hi. Work your way up.

 

[EvilAgenda]

You sound a lot like me when I started. Hold on there,,it takes time. Stick with the community. Some good guys here will provide help.

Read and PRACTICE

It's all in your head,,bro. Good luck.

(the way I started,,I just thought of every girl I met as MY LITTLE SISTER,,it made it ezier,,cuz I felt like I could be ****y/funny around them,,somewhat manipulative,,and of course I didn't have a hidden agenda)

 

[HeMan]

there are qualities about you that makes you special and unique...

you really need to believe in this because once you really believe you are the prize, other people will start to see it to..

 

[pushforward]

I read like a mad man, but I guess nothing will fix me except experience.


My approach anxiety is bad. I have no problem building comfort or seducing, it's all the initial approach that is bad. Trying to outgrow this because I know I'm better than this!