Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
There is a crap load of personality dissorders.I've known about it for some time
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
If you cut the news and most social media, you will notice a strong decrease of anxiety.Anyone else have this? I've known about it for some time but ****s been too much lately so got meds for it.
Yeah, that’s basically life from cradle to grave if you’re even slightly ‘on the spectrum.’ You’re hyperaware that you’re ’different,’ and hated for that difference. And the more your awareness grows, the worse it gets. Every little thing is on hard mode because you’re always the first one the mob will turn on.Good call on not taking them. You're much better off.
If "anxiety" is a kind of genetic disease, where did it come from all of a sudden, and why in such numbers? About 1/3 of the US, is that believable?
I have felt "anxiety" for prolonged periods of time on two occasions:
1. About 6 months. I was in a program where I had to compete against very gifted people whose well connected parents raised them on good study habits, got them tutors as needed, and really cared about their educational and professional development. I had none of that, nor was I gifted with their high level of IQ. So I was just winging it in the dark, and there was the intense pressure of being humiliated by coming in last place (which was a very real possibility all throughout). The difference between me and them was visible in more ways than just scoring metrics. I became quiet, awkward, and it felt like everything I did around them was "wrong" in some way.
2. About 2.5 years. I worked in a politically charged environment with that was very, very passionate about "diversity, equity, and inclusion." By the time I left, I was the one of the only (straight) white males left. In every situation from getting coffee, to using the bathroom first, to who got rewarded for their work, I was expected to step out of the way and let the diversity, women, or the sexually weird go first or win the interaction. I was constantly walking on eggshells (such as when I described a car accident as "the black car hit the white car" and was then played with like a cat toy by the diversity). I had zero backup, and those above me took their side every time. What kept me there was nothing more than someone else not excommunicating me, even though they could at any moment with no proof and no contest from higher ups.
In both cases, the "anxiety" was not just some emotion I could blow off as irrational, but was in fact a correct and reliable biological feedback to my surroundings. Something big was at stake in an environment that depended completely on other people's high opinion of me. I was isolated, powerless, and unprepared both times. There was no way to improve my standing with the two groups because it ultimately came down to the single factor of who my parents were and not something I could change.
The "symptoms" matched what long-time anxiety sufferers described 100%, but only with how it felt towards the end when it was clear to the others that I was not in control of how things went at all. I was in those places long enough to feel like the tension was a permanent part of myself that was discovered from nowhere.
God help those who feel this nervousness constantly and believe it's a disease of theirs. Leaving the environments stopped the anxiety after a cooldown of a few months (over a year for #2). I can't imagine what kind of environments some of the people on anxiety forums must be in that keep that feeling held constant.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
One that helped me a lot is cutting of alcohol. Recently I didn't drink for 28 days(this is coming from a guy who drinks twice a week max) I noticed I was a lot more productive.If you cut the news and most social media, you will notice a strong decrease of anxiety.
If you cut junk food, porn and stimulants is even better.
The real deal is however a good sleep pattern and time spent outside under the sun especially right after you get up, nature.
If you happen to be an introvert, dont be afraid of cutting out unnecessary social interactions and overcrowded enviroment.