You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
There is a crap load of personality dissorders.I've known about it for some time
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
If you cut the news and most social media, you will notice a strong decrease of anxiety.Anyone else have this? I've known about it for some time but ****s been too much lately so got meds for it.
Yeah, that’s basically life from cradle to grave if you’re even slightly ‘on the spectrum.’ You’re hyperaware that you’re ’different,’ and hated for that difference. And the more your awareness grows, the worse it gets. Every little thing is on hard mode because you’re always the first one the mob will turn on.Good call on not taking them. You're much better off.
If "anxiety" is a kind of genetic disease, where did it come from all of a sudden, and why in such numbers? About 1/3 of the US, is that believable?
I have felt "anxiety" for prolonged periods of time on two occasions:
1. About 6 months. I was in a program where I had to compete against very gifted people whose well connected parents raised them on good study habits, got them tutors as needed, and really cared about their educational and professional development. I had none of that, nor was I gifted with their high level of IQ. So I was just winging it in the dark, and there was the intense pressure of being humiliated by coming in last place (which was a very real possibility all throughout). The difference between me and them was visible in more ways than just scoring metrics. I became quiet, awkward, and it felt like everything I did around them was "wrong" in some way.
2. About 2.5 years. I worked in a politically charged environment with that was very, very passionate about "diversity, equity, and inclusion." By the time I left, I was the one of the only (straight) white males left. In every situation from getting coffee, to using the bathroom first, to who got rewarded for their work, I was expected to step out of the way and let the diversity, women, or the sexually weird go first or win the interaction. I was constantly walking on eggshells (such as when I described a car accident as "the black car hit the white car" and was then played with like a cat toy by the diversity). I had zero backup, and those above me took their side every time. What kept me there was nothing more than someone else not excommunicating me, even though they could at any moment with no proof and no contest from higher ups.
In both cases, the "anxiety" was not just some emotion I could blow off as irrational, but was in fact a correct and reliable biological feedback to my surroundings. Something big was at stake in an environment that depended completely on other people's high opinion of me. I was isolated, powerless, and unprepared both times. There was no way to improve my standing with the two groups because it ultimately came down to the single factor of who my parents were and not something I could change.
The "symptoms" matched what long-time anxiety sufferers described 100%, but only with how it felt towards the end when it was clear to the others that I was not in control of how things went at all. I was in those places long enough to feel like the tension was a permanent part of myself that was discovered from nowhere.
God help those who feel this nervousness constantly and believe it's a disease of theirs. Leaving the environments stopped the anxiety after a cooldown of a few months (over a year for #2). I can't imagine what kind of environments some of the people on anxiety forums must be in that keep that feeling held constant.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
One that helped me a lot is cutting of alcohol. Recently I didn't drink for 28 days(this is coming from a guy who drinks twice a week max) I noticed I was a lot more productive.If you cut the news and most social media, you will notice a strong decrease of anxiety.
If you cut junk food, porn and stimulants is even better.
The real deal is however a good sleep pattern and time spent outside under the sun especially right after you get up, nature.
If you happen to be an introvert, dont be afraid of cutting out unnecessary social interactions and overcrowded enviroment.