Hey people, im only in high school and I was just wondering if you guys could help me out. I've read the DJ Bible and the threads on this site and it has helped me a lot. But everytime i do something that involved a risk with girls, like calling or messaging, or even approaching, i still get a lot of anxiety that builds up inside of me from the thinking of it. Maybe its the fear of not knowing what is going to happen or a lingering unconscious fear of reject. However, after i think that it wasnt so bad, even if i get rejected. But next time it happens again. This uneasy feeling is really bothering me So how do i deal with this?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Anxiety
- Thread starter AlphaNoob
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
You can read all day long and learn all this stuff in theory but if you cant put it into practice, you were probably better off not knowing this stuff in the first place.
Get some balls, start slowly, just asking indirect questions like "where is the nearest starbucks?" or whatever you're comfortable with, then slowly ramp it up. In reality you can kinda say whatever you like you just need to show yourself that you can.
Get some balls, start slowly, just asking indirect questions like "where is the nearest starbucks?" or whatever you're comfortable with, then slowly ramp it up. In reality you can kinda say whatever you like you just need to show yourself that you can.
One word: ACTION
I used to be the same, i'd message a girl and run away from the computer... Or ask them out by messenger.... most AFC thing, i know.
In time and having patience and perseverance the anxiety will go away, you just gotta keep at it
I used to be the same, i'd message a girl and run away from the computer... Or ask them out by messenger.... most AFC thing, i know.
In time and having patience and perseverance the anxiety will go away, you just gotta keep at it
Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
I don't think it goes away, you just learn how to deal with it better and attribute the anxiety to opportunity rather than something that should be feared.playa99 said:
I get you mate, from my experience I have no nerves with messaging or calling girls now at all. It's all how you frame it I think, the best approaches from my experience begin with open ended questions, what your not thinking about, just have fun and ask questions with no outcome dependency is the best way.
I think anxiety and nervousness kick in when you push your comfort zone, which you should always be doing to improve confidence.
I think anxiety and nervousness kick in when you push your comfort zone, which you should always be doing to improve confidence.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.