"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Another one bites the dust; I date 'em, the next guy marries them
- Thread starter STR8UP
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
T Dog
Master Don Juan
I have had this happen to me as well. I have thought long and hard about it and have many ideas and theories, but when I try to write them out, I can’t consolidate my ideas.
I think it is partly because the DJ rules allows a girl to project the kind of guy she wants us to be, onto us.
Ultimately, the divide between who they want us to be (consciously and unconsciously) and who we really are becomes clear.
The new guy isn’t as grounded or confident as us and will conform to her wants and needs, total AFC.
Honestly, do you think she is entering a health relationship with the new guy when they only just left you (or you left them)?
I agree.T Dog said:
From my observations of these women after the fact, it seems that these guys are simply AFC's who are out there just WAITING for the right situation to come along where a girl is fed up that the man she truly wants won't commit.
I am having dinner with one tomorrow night (no flames, please) so I'm curious to find out about the hubby. She described him very favorably the few times we have talked about him, but I'm really curious what her motivations were.
T Dog
Master Don Juan
What happened on the date?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Got a myspace message from a friend of my ex g/f's who I always thought was cool, but her and her husband moved back up north so I haven't seen them in awhile.
Anyway, I thought it was kind of odd that she would be contacting me, so I pulled up my exes myspace just for the hell of it (I do that every six months or so out of curiosity) and lo and behold.....my ex is GETTING MARRIED. I'm assuming it's to the guy she got with right after we broke up, the one with whom she put on a show making out with him in the club right in front of me.
So............since I started this thread, this makes TWO more women from my past who are getting hitched.
This basically means that ALL of my LTRs have married the next guy that came along, in addition to a couple of STR's and at least one FB
Strange indeed.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
the most recent one was with a girl i was with for 4 yrs. she NEVER mentioned marriage. about 1 month after we broke up "completely" she was engaged and got married 3 months thereafter.
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
The greatest truths are expressed in their simplest form - for best understanding!!eyedogg said:
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,945
- Reaction score
- 70
- Age
- 45
!!!!!!!
Last Man Standing
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2006
- Messages
- 3,956
- Reaction score
- 37
Exclamation points merely pronounce the severity of the situation!!!ThunderMaverick said:
Aren't they ALL ready, willing, and able to get married?eyedogg said:
Most of them are anyway. Maybe I'm attracting the ones who REALLY want to get married. But as someone else mentioned, some of these women never so much as mentioned it to me, then they end up marrying the next guy.
Epic
Senior Don Juan
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
- 186
- Age
- 47
So the next guy who comes along...BAM!
The thing is, if YOU are the next guy to come along, you somehow resist the marriage impulse. She WOULD marry you if you'd chump up enough to give into her irrational pair-bonding desire. Of course, shes' more interested in marriage than in YOU, and in a lot of cases it'll just lead to common misery and apathy if you give into it.
But because you DON'T, she dumps you and moves on to the next guy.
And I think a lot of people SERIOUSLY underestimate the number of MEN out there who are under social pressure to get married. Sure, most men ACT macho, but there are a LOT of them out there who just want to hook up with a girl...because they believe they're not good enough to go after what they WANT and had better hook up when they have the chance.
In short...I wouldn't worry too much about it.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.