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Another one bites the dust; I date 'em, the next guy marries them
- Thread starter STR8UP
- Start date
T Dog
Master Don Juan
Str8up,
I have had this happen to me as well. I have thought long and hard about it and have many ideas and theories, but when I try to write them out, I can’t consolidate my ideas.
I think it is partly because the DJ rules allows a girl to project the kind of guy she wants us to be, onto us.
Ultimately, the divide between who they want us to be (consciously and unconsciously) and who we really are becomes clear.
The new guy isn’t as grounded or confident as us and will conform to her wants and needs, total AFC.
Honestly, do you think she is entering a health relationship with the new guy when they only just left you (or you left them)?
I have had this happen to me as well. I have thought long and hard about it and have many ideas and theories, but when I try to write them out, I can’t consolidate my ideas.
I think it is partly because the DJ rules allows a girl to project the kind of guy she wants us to be, onto us.
Ultimately, the divide between who they want us to be (consciously and unconsciously) and who we really are becomes clear.
The new guy isn’t as grounded or confident as us and will conform to her wants and needs, total AFC.
Honestly, do you think she is entering a health relationship with the new guy when they only just left you (or you left them)?
I agree.T Dog said:
From my observations of these women after the fact, it seems that these guys are simply AFC's who are out there just WAITING for the right situation to come along where a girl is fed up that the man she truly wants won't commit.
I am having dinner with one tomorrow night (no flames, please) so I'm curious to find out about the hubby. She described him very favorably the few times we have talked about him, but I'm really curious what her motivations were.
T Dog
Master Don Juan
Str8up,
What happened on the date?
What happened on the date?
Okay, this is just WAAAAAY too strange.......
Got a myspace message from a friend of my ex g/f's who I always thought was cool, but her and her husband moved back up north so I haven't seen them in awhile.
Anyway, I thought it was kind of odd that she would be contacting me, so I pulled up my exes myspace just for the hell of it (I do that every six months or so out of curiosity) and lo and behold.....my ex is GETTING MARRIED. I'm assuming it's to the guy she got with right after we broke up, the one with whom she put on a show making out with him in the club right in front of me.
So............since I started this thread, this makes TWO more women from my past who are getting hitched.
This basically means that ALL of my LTRs have married the next guy that came along, in addition to a couple of STR's and at least one FB
Strange indeed.
Got a myspace message from a friend of my ex g/f's who I always thought was cool, but her and her husband moved back up north so I haven't seen them in awhile.
Anyway, I thought it was kind of odd that she would be contacting me, so I pulled up my exes myspace just for the hell of it (I do that every six months or so out of curiosity) and lo and behold.....my ex is GETTING MARRIED. I'm assuming it's to the guy she got with right after we broke up, the one with whom she put on a show making out with him in the club right in front of me.
So............since I started this thread, this makes TWO more women from my past who are getting hitched.
This basically means that ALL of my LTRs have married the next guy that came along, in addition to a couple of STR's and at least one FB
Strange indeed.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
the same thing has happened to me with 3 of my LTRs. so im 3 for 5.
the most recent one was with a girl i was with for 4 yrs. she NEVER mentioned marriage. about 1 month after we broke up "completely" she was engaged and got married 3 months thereafter.
the most recent one was with a girl i was with for 4 yrs. she NEVER mentioned marriage. about 1 month after we broke up "completely" she was engaged and got married 3 months thereafter.
Last Man Standing
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The greatest truths are expressed in their simplest form - for best understanding!!eyedogg said:
ThunderMaverick
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The truth melts into your brain more efficiently with EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
Last Man Standing
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Exclamation points merely pronounce the severity of the situation!!!ThunderMaverick said:
Aren't they ALL ready, willing, and able to get married?eyedogg said:
Most of them are anyway. Maybe I'm attracting the ones who REALLY want to get married. But as someone else mentioned, some of these women never so much as mentioned it to me, then they end up marrying the next guy.
Epic
Senior Don Juan
Lol, have you seen Good Luck Chuck? You're like Good Luck STR8UP! Seriously, maybe losing a DJ knocked them down a peg or two, and they started to doubt their own self-worth, so they married the next guy after you.
squirrels
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You know what I think? I think they're looking to get married...to the next guy that comes along. Women get desperate to get married, especially between age 23 and 28, because all their friends are doing it. So once a bunch of her friends start getting engaged, and she sees all the ATTENTION given to her friends at these huge lavish weddings, she wants it for herself.
So the next guy who comes along...BAM!
The thing is, if YOU are the next guy to come along, you somehow resist the marriage impulse. She WOULD marry you if you'd chump up enough to give into her irrational pair-bonding desire. Of course, shes' more interested in marriage than in YOU, and in a lot of cases it'll just lead to common misery and apathy if you give into it.
But because you DON'T, she dumps you and moves on to the next guy.
And I think a lot of people SERIOUSLY underestimate the number of MEN out there who are under social pressure to get married. Sure, most men ACT macho, but there are a LOT of them out there who just want to hook up with a girl...because they believe they're not good enough to go after what they WANT and had better hook up when they have the chance.
In short...I wouldn't worry too much about it.
So the next guy who comes along...BAM!
The thing is, if YOU are the next guy to come along, you somehow resist the marriage impulse. She WOULD marry you if you'd chump up enough to give into her irrational pair-bonding desire. Of course, shes' more interested in marriage than in YOU, and in a lot of cases it'll just lead to common misery and apathy if you give into it.
But because you DON'T, she dumps you and moves on to the next guy.
And I think a lot of people SERIOUSLY underestimate the number of MEN out there who are under social pressure to get married. Sure, most men ACT macho, but there are a LOT of them out there who just want to hook up with a girl...because they believe they're not good enough to go after what they WANT and had better hook up when they have the chance.
In short...I wouldn't worry too much about it.
