another 'ignoring girls works' success

[Robert28]

ignoring girls really does work, i'm a firm believer of that now!!! even the time that people say it will take for them to contact you after no contact is accurate(2-3 weeks). this girl i told you about awhile back that i couldnt figure out and i was sure she had low IL, so i deleted her off of facebook, erased her number, the whole shibang basically. i was done, over it, see ya later pretty much. never told her what i did or why i did it or where i went, just rode off in the sunset oneday. well i figure this chick has alot of guy friends so if i go missing she wont suspect a thing. 2-3 weeks go by and i get a text from a number i dont recognize today saying "hope youre doing well!". i honestly didnt know who it was so i replied back with "you too, whos number is this btw?" and she replies back "Courtni!". right then i knew that when she had to explain to me who she was she knew she had been forgotten and the desperate girl to get me back in her life came out in her.haha now dont get me wrong, i still have alot of work to do, this is still a trap. i could easily fall right back to where i was before and this whole thing will be for not if i do that. i still have to act like i dont care that she contacted me, and im going to follow what Igetit said in a thread to a t! no mention of a date, no mention of hanging out, nothing like that. in fact, i just ignored her 3rd text after she told me who it was when i asked. she's since sent me 2 after that saying "are you mad at me?" and "why won't you talk to me?"haha anyone got any tips on if i'm doing this right so far or the next steps i need to take?

 

[Joe Stud]

text back: "of course i'm not mad at you, why would I be?" and then go back to silence

 

[Joe Stud]

igetit said not to mention a date, or hanging out. but you be the judge

 

[Robert28]

i told her i wasn't mad and she replied with "well i was just wondering how you were and make sure you were ok"(ofcourse she was, i hadnt talked to her in almost 3 weeks). anyways she gave me her work schedule and told me to come eat one night(shes a waitress). i didnt reply back to that. whats a good strategy with going to see her? i know her work schedule so do i tell her the day im coming in or just show up? she did tell me to come see her remember. also, she works tonight and tomorrow night but not again until next tuesday, which night would be best to go see her? i dont want to appear eager like i have nothing beter to do, but at the same time i would like to see her, i just dont want her to think i do.

 

[Joe Stud]

next week. and dont give her advance notice. that way shes not primped. on the other hand, you go in looking great, smelling great, head up, confidence glowing, smiling etc. Go at a time near the end of her shift, and <try to> let her invite you out for a drink afterwards.

 

[Robert28]

sounds like a plan, thanks! i will admit, i had oneitis for this girl and i think i came on too strong, thus pushing her away. her interest was there i think, but i should have played it more cool as i unknowingly did these past few weeks. i think if she honestly wasnt interested she wouldnt have contacted me today. maybe shes giving me a second chance this time around, i dunno. i know what not to do at least this time as far as coming on too strong goes and showing too much interest.

 

[dj_china]

definitely next tuesday. and don't give her a warning.

keep us updated!

 

[Igetit!]

Limit volleying the texts and make her escalate interest in you. If she replies with anything short of committing an hour or two with you, just go back to ignoring her like you've already done.

Agreed.

The trick is NOT TO SAY ANYTHING about going out or dating her in these text you send.


The point is NOT TO FEED her ego. If her ego gets fed,she won't go out on the date because she won't need to.


If all it takes is a phonecall or a text to get to get an ego boost,then she'll settle for the phonecall or text.



Why put all the time and effort into doing her hair,make-up,deciding what to wear,driving out to meet you and everything else when she can just get her ego boosted by calling you while she's lying around the house?



Robert28 understands. Most guys would mistake her calling or texting as an IOI. The tricky part is her calling can be an IOI under certain conditions.

Her flaking on you a thousand times then calling you when you pull back ISN'T that condition.



The point of her calling you there is to re-establish you asking her out and trying to see her again so she can feel wanted and desired.



But when she calls you and you just chit-chat for a second,and she gets nothing out of it because you DIDN'T ask her out,then she'll think you're losing interest.


You ignoring text and cutting them short will make her DOUBT HER DESIRABILITY...towards you. So,since the phonecalls and texts no longer get her ego fed,she'll up the anty.


She'll suggest you two getting together...BUT...(And this is a BIG "BUT" ) it's just another attempt to feed her ego.




That's why I say not to agree to the date if she ask you out.


Most guys would jump up and down thinking they finally got her out on a date,but all they did was re-inflate her ego again. And since she got her "fix",she's good now. So she flakes again.



By not agreeing to the date and doing what I suggested in my signature,SHE HAS TO put some effort into getting YOU to go out.



She has to invest,and she wants a return on that investment. Whereas before,she merely had to clear her throat and the guy was all over her telling her she's "hot" and asking her out a hundred times.

Text something like,

"Why would I be mad? Listen, I don't really text much. What are doing this weekend?"

The "Why would I be mad?' is ok to ask,but asking what she's doing for the weekend is a NO GO.

She'll instantly get her ego boosted again. You just went a week without contacting her,she calls you,then you go right into asking her out?


No. All that does is let her know she's still on your mind.


Robert did it PERFECTLY.


She contacted him,and instead of immediately trying to ask her out again,he asked,"Who's number is this?"



That was PERFECTION.

Almost brings a tear to my eye.




This way,he's NOT ignoring her,and at the same time,she's NOT getting ego boosted out of the conversation.


Joe Stud is right...tell her you're not mad at her,chat for a minute,then END CONTACT,and go on with your life. Pursue other girls. Go ahead and speak with her from time to time if she contacts you...but

DON'T ASK HER OUT.



Say "what's up?","How you doin'",tell her something exciting/emotional you've been up to,then end the call/text as soon as you can.


Do that,coupled with ignoring her texts as well.


Eventually she'll either get lost (which is good),or she'll suggest you two dating. Then at that point,you can follow what I outlined in my sig.


Edit:I agree with waiting until Tuesday. Then hang out with her a little before asking her out. But hey,if she starts flaking again...you know what to do.

 

[ArkhamInmate]

   

 

[Igetit!]

From MY perspective, a MAN asks a girl what she's doing for the weekend...because remember...A MAN IS NOT AFRAID TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS.

A Man

--Does NOT Avoid Rejection:

Statistically, you're more likely to be REJECTED then to be ACCEPTED. So how do you become more and more accepted and have lots of girls? It is when you increase your trying so much that the acception rate satisfies you and you don't notice the rejections.


A Man

--Does NOT go through life walking on eggshells:

Nice Guys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" Good guys think, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?" The Good guy doesn't think about the girl's interest until they're dating. The Good guy looks at all the girls and TAKES what he wants.

I agree with everything you said here Espi.


You're right,a MAN doesn't go around trying to avoid rejection,or walking on eggshells,or being afraid to go for what he wants.



The reason I said not to ask her out has NOTHING TO DO with avoiding rejection,being afraid,or walking on eggshells.




The reason I say not to ask her out is to avoid PUMPING UP HER EGO.



The WHOLE REASON "No Contact" gets started because of the girl FLAKING...on multiple occasions.



If she hadn't flaked,there'd be no reason to start the no contact in the first place.




So the no contact gets started because of FLAKING. Well if a girl is FLAKING,that means you've ALREADY TRIED ASKING HER OUT...several times.


You've already asked her out several times and she's come up with excuse after excuse. Therefore I say if the past 5 times you've spoken with her you asked her out and she flaked,then when time #6 rolls around,DON'T ASK HER OUT.


She ALREADY KNOWS you like her,I mean you've asked her out 5 times.



So pull back. Don't say anything about going out. See if she brings it up.



That's why I advise not to ask her out,not to try to avoid rejection or out of fear.



In fact,I advise TO ASK HER OUT in my sig,just at the appropiate time.


But you're right though. There's no right way or wrong way,it's whatever works for the individual.

 

[Cinamon]

I dont get it, why would you go to her work place while she is working? Even if she is a waitress, she wont be able to spend much time with you. Is it worth the effort.

I would be inclined to say i dont want to disturb you while you are working and see what other offer she can come up with.

 

[jophil28]

She wants you (or perhaps any male) to feed her EGO .That is why she texted you... IF she flaked five times in the past, then you fed her ego 5 times already, and you got royally dissed 5 times for your persistence. Why would you even consider rewarding a f""kwit like her with your attention?
She needs a smackdown, not another chance to treat you badly after she gets her ego inflated again at your expense..

However, if you insist on trying to turn this around, try this-

Text her and ask her what she recommends from the menu if you "drop in one night."
She will ooh and ahh about some blackboard special.

You reply "Thanks, sounds tasty."

Then you call the desk and make a reservation for two for a late dinner on a night when she is working, and on the night, you show up with another woman. Be sure to ask for a dark corner table.
Your waitress flake will either compete or retreat. Either way you have regained ownership of the frame (albeit a damaged one).
And know this, you will stimulate a whole bucket of emotions in her.

I love my nasty streak.

 

[Commandante]

She wants you (or perhaps any male) to feed her EGO .That is why she texted you... IF she flaked five times in the past, then you fed her ego 5 times already, and you got royally dissed 5 times for your persistence. Why would you even consider rewarding a f""kwit like her with your attention?

I´m happy to see that at least one of you have realised the fact, that this chick only needs attention and wants to feed her EGO.

Robert28, if I were you I wouldn´t give a flying fvck about her texts. After the first one I would send her a message like this: "Hey sweetie, I don´t have time for chit-chat. If you have something to tell me just give me a ring. Otherwise have fun with www.chatomat.de!". And I would delete any text from her without reading. You are not a fvcking chat-o-mat, are you?