"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Another facebook thread - revamping my profile

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Lion

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Hi guys, now I know facebook is all good for keeping up with old friends and NOT for dating but I feel my profile needs to be updated.
Facebook is not everything but I feel it needs to represent me more, exude alittle ****y funniness but be minimalist in content. It would actually be good if there's something funny I can say that appeals more to male friends yet doesn't leave the girls thinking...ok...
Is there any resource on the web I can read to help me dream up some funny content?

What have you guys got in your "write something here." bit. e.g. one of my cousins has literally "write something here." written in the space.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Recon

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I have Full Monty written in mine. Most people dont know what it is..so I send them a link if im in the mood, or I tell them to google it.



This usually gets me a few laughs, and I've had numerous people open me in fb chat wondering what it was, and they think it's hilarious. I usually try to build to a more sexual point after that, if it's a girl. But anyway, I found that movie hilarious so I try to make my profile have information about me that actually is part of my nature.

EDIT: Seeing as your from the UK, like my mother you should definitely have heard of the full monty!
 
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Prodigy746

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I left my about me blank. I dont use facebook to pick up girls, everyone thats on my facebook as a friend knows me and what i am all about. Dont need to write anything
 
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tsmith2334

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Less is more.

Remember that.

Long, stupid, wordy, self-indulgent profiles will turn woman off.

Keep it simple.
 
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tsmith2334

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perfect example of what not to write:

My name is **** and I'm 25 years old.
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better ****, than any boy you'll ever meet.
I pride myself on having never lied to a girl I was interested in.
I'm quite sarcastic and random, and somewhat violent, so be prepared.
I enjoy meeting new people, just make sure you know why you're meeting me.
I'm crazy and more fun than anyone you'll ever meet.
I'm so romantic, and I'm finding it harder to find people that deserve it, who will appreciate it...and stick around for more of it.
I play games. Board, card, or video...I don't discriminate.
I'm a nerd. I embrace it.
I'm slightly OCD. This wasn't always the case.
I'm exceptionally passionate about everything I do in my life.
I'm an excellent photographer and was a photo technician for many years.
I'm persistent. If I like you, you're not going to get rid of me.
I'm the most interesting person you'll ever meet.
I'm complex, yet I want something so simple.
I'm a writer, and if you show interest in what I write; furthermore, if you tell me it's good, I will love you.
I'm confident, not ****y. I can back up everything I say.
I like anime. If you do too, we've much to talk about.
I'm an excellent kisser. This has been told to me by a few respectable sources.
I like attention.
If I don't talk to you, it's because you've bored me.
I don't get bored too easily, so you have to really try to attain that.
I'm of Czech/Welsh ancestry.
I don't speak any foreign language, but I can understand a good deal.
I like to tinker with things and see how they work.
I'm in college for Electrical Engineering.
I'm NOT a virgin.
I'm NOT a man*****.
You WISH I was.
I like sex. It's not all I'm about. Deal with it.
I like high heels and skirts on girls. A lot.
I will have my way with you.
I'm clingy, and if you're not into that, get lost.
I'm a cuddler.
I like to hold hands, too.
I have joined the many and gotten a cell phone with Verizon. Go ahead, ask me for my number.
I like to get inside a persons head. If you were to think I won't get in there...you'd be mistaken.
I don't smoke. Anything.
I don't drink very often and when I do, it's never a lot.
I'm drug free...and it's the way to be!
If I'm nice to you, buy you dinner, or deserve it, say thank you to me. It's not that hard, really. Thank you.
I give incredible back rubs.
I'm an excellent cook and if you're a sweetheart, I'll cook for you.
I am very dominant.
I write in my spare time, and have written a collection of short stories.
I am known in many circles...as Legion.
Click to expand...
Yes, that's legitimately from the "About Me" section of someone's Facebook profile.

Now picture being an HB and reading that.

Like I said before, less is more. It's much more attractive to a woman if your Facebook page is subtle, minimal, and somewhat mysterious.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Lion

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Haha! As long as that guy who has it as his "about me" thinks its cool...
 
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tsmith2334

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lugsy211

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I agree with Smithy. HolyG, you sound pretty funny but don't take it this far as you'll come across as insecure.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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