Greeting from europe !
I'm in a flat-share with 6 roomates, 2 of wich are a couple. I'm dealing with the problem of being kind of attracted to the girl with a boyfriend, her (IMO) being kind of attracted to me and the boyfriend 100% noticed it.
IMO we all know but no one has spilled the beans yet.
I'm looking for further advice to navigate the situation, I'm not trying to break the couple but I don't like being cautious in my own house about social interactions so your guideline may help me act and react without wondering.
A few precisions
- So far I have been upfront to avoid physical contact with her although I'm a little touchy with other people
- I've hooked up with a few ONS since I got here, which got me pissed looks behind her boyfriend back and sudden unusual display of affection toward her boyfriend while I'm passing by. This kind of reaction is common and I think she (uncounsciously ?) reward or punish me depending on how distant I am.
- My main problem is the boyfriend, who is in a state of cold war with me and I have trouble playing it cool when he show passive agression toward me (I admit that a few times I did the mistake of letting myself have more complicity with his girlfriend in retaliation). This is not an every day problem since he is purposely avoiding me and keeping his girlfriend away from me (which I'm glad).
Unfortunetly I'm never able to prove my efforts because although the girl has no problem seeing me alone, she never stay with me and her boyfriend when we hangout in the same room, so the guy never see us interact enough. I think she maintains ambiguity to make him jealous and take care of her more.
She is going to leave the appartement in two months so hopefully this problem is only temporary, but we have two months to go (locked down in our place cause of covid) and I would be thrilled to read external advices. What is the fine line between not feeling castrated repressing me with her and not being a **** ? Maybe some personnal insecurities make the situation more impactfull on my mind than it should be ?
I probably forgot usefull informations so feel free to ask !
(and sorry for bad english)
I'm in a flat-share with 6 roomates, 2 of wich are a couple. I'm dealing with the problem of being kind of attracted to the girl with a boyfriend, her (IMO) being kind of attracted to me and the boyfriend 100% noticed it.
IMO we all know but no one has spilled the beans yet.
I'm looking for further advice to navigate the situation, I'm not trying to break the couple but I don't like being cautious in my own house about social interactions so your guideline may help me act and react without wondering.
A few precisions
- So far I have been upfront to avoid physical contact with her although I'm a little touchy with other people
- I've hooked up with a few ONS since I got here, which got me pissed looks behind her boyfriend back and sudden unusual display of affection toward her boyfriend while I'm passing by. This kind of reaction is common and I think she (uncounsciously ?) reward or punish me depending on how distant I am.
- My main problem is the boyfriend, who is in a state of cold war with me and I have trouble playing it cool when he show passive agression toward me (I admit that a few times I did the mistake of letting myself have more complicity with his girlfriend in retaliation). This is not an every day problem since he is purposely avoiding me and keeping his girlfriend away from me (which I'm glad).
Unfortunetly I'm never able to prove my efforts because although the girl has no problem seeing me alone, she never stay with me and her boyfriend when we hangout in the same room, so the guy never see us interact enough. I think she maintains ambiguity to make him jealous and take care of her more.
She is going to leave the appartement in two months so hopefully this problem is only temporary, but we have two months to go (locked down in our place cause of covid) and I would be thrilled to read external advices. What is the fine line between not feeling castrated repressing me with her and not being a **** ? Maybe some personnal insecurities make the situation more impactfull on my mind than it should be ?
I probably forgot usefull informations so feel free to ask !
(and sorry for bad english)