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Annoying triangle, how to navigate

Thale

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Greeting from europe !

I'm in a flat-share with 6 roomates, 2 of wich are a couple. I'm dealing with the problem of being kind of attracted to the girl with a boyfriend, her (IMO) being kind of attracted to me and the boyfriend 100% noticed it.

IMO we all know but no one has spilled the beans yet.

I'm looking for further advice to navigate the situation, I'm not trying to break the couple but I don't like being cautious in my own house about social interactions so your guideline may help me act and react without wondering.

A few precisions

- So far I have been upfront to avoid physical contact with her although I'm a little touchy with other people

- I've hooked up with a few ONS since I got here, which got me pissed looks behind her boyfriend back and sudden unusual display of affection toward her boyfriend while I'm passing by. This kind of reaction is common and I think she (uncounsciously ?) reward or punish me depending on how distant I am.

- My main problem is the boyfriend, who is in a state of cold war with me and I have trouble playing it cool when he show passive agression toward me (I admit that a few times I did the mistake of letting myself have more complicity with his girlfriend in retaliation). This is not an every day problem since he is purposely avoiding me and keeping his girlfriend away from me (which I'm glad).
Unfortunetly I'm never able to prove my efforts because although the girl has no problem seeing me alone, she never stay with me and her boyfriend when we hangout in the same room, so the guy never see us interact enough. I think she maintains ambiguity to make him jealous and take care of her more.

She is going to leave the appartement in two months so hopefully this problem is only temporary, but we have two months to go (locked down in our place cause of covid) and I would be thrilled to read external advices. What is the fine line between not feeling castrated repressing me with her and not being a **** ? Maybe some personnal insecurities make the situation more impactfull on my mind than it should be ?

I probably forgot usefull informations so feel free to ask !

(and sorry for bad english)
 

2Rocky

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Call her your Sister......

 

Hank Moody

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Greeting from europe !

I'm in a flat-share with 6 roomates, 2 of wich are a couple. I'm dealing with the problem of being kind of attracted to the girl with a boyfriend, her (IMO) being kind of attracted to me and the boyfriend 100% noticed it.

IMO we all know but no one has spilled the beans yet.

I'm looking for further advice to navigate the situation, I'm not trying to break the couple but I don't like being cautious in my own house about social interactions so your guideline may help me act and react without wondering.

A few precisions

- So far I have been upfront to avoid physical contact with her although I'm a little touchy with other people

- I've hooked up with a few ONS since I got here, which got me pissed looks behind her boyfriend back and sudden unusual display of affection toward her boyfriend while I'm passing by. This kind of reaction is common and I think she (uncounsciously ?) reward or punish me depending on how distant I am.

- My main problem is the boyfriend, who is in a state of cold war with me and I have trouble playing it cool when he show passive agression toward me (I admit that a few times I did the mistake of letting myself have more complicity with his girlfriend in retaliation). This is not an every day problem since he is purposely avoiding me and keeping his girlfriend away from me (which I'm glad).
Unfortunetly I'm never able to prove my efforts because although the girl has no problem seeing me alone, she never stay with me and her boyfriend when we hangout in the same room, so the guy never see us interact enough. I think she maintains ambiguity to make him jealous and take care of her more.

She is going to leave the appartement in two months so hopefully this problem is only temporary, but we have two months to go (locked down in our place cause of covid) and I would be thrilled to read external advices. What is the fine line between not feeling castrated repressing me with her and not being a **** ? Maybe some personnal insecurities make the situation more impactfull on my mind than it should be ?

I probably forgot usefull informations so feel free to ask !

(and sorry for bad english)
Welcome to the boards.
 

Thale

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Thank you for the answers

Haha yeah I could treat her like little sis and stop to care, I'll see if that work.

I have far more important objectives right now thankfull.
 

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Steel_Neurons

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Hey, welcome to the forum!

My $0.02: never sh1t where you eat.

That's good you have more important objectives. Sounds like a plan to focus on them (and other women) and forget about her. She'll be gone soon anyway.
 

jimwho

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Unfortunetly I'm never able to prove my efforts because although the girl has no problem seeing me alone, she never stay with me and her boyfriend when we hangout in the same room, so the guy never see us interact enough. I think she maintains ambiguity to make him jealous and take care of her more.
Sounds like office drama. Have honor, be mature, keep a respectable distance and be pleasant. Let the clock run out.
Welcome aboard.
 

manfrombelow

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Welcome aboard, OP.

Like other members have nailed it, you should stay away from this chick because you don't sh!t where you eat.
 

Thale

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Thanks for the greetings, very cool to see in a forum without presentation topic rule !
 

bat soup

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Greeting from europe !

I'm in a flat-share with 6 roomates, 2 of wich are a couple. I'm dealing with the problem of being kind of attracted to the girl with a boyfriend, her (IMO) being kind of attracted to me and the boyfriend 100% noticed it.
Leave and find somewhere else to live. You don't want to be caught up in this kind of drama. If you really like the girl, find a way to keep in touch and once you're out of there, suggest meeting up some time and see if she bites.
 

Thale

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Leave and find somewhere else to live. You don't want to be caught up in this kind of drama. If you really like the girl, find a way to keep in touch and once you're out of there, suggest meeting up some time and see if she bites.
Well she is gonna be gone intwo month so I would say it's too much energy to move for that, or because of a girl generally.

I'll let you know if something happens !
 

Thale

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*sight* don't laugh at me for asking, but this is outa what i'm used to.

So she draw me a big heart on the glass of the shower this morning when we took turns. I know it's for me cause we're alone at the appartement, mainly working in respective rooms.

What even the heck is that move ? I shouldn't even comment on it, do I ? Girl still with boyfriend BTW
 

Hank Moody

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*sight* don't laugh at me for asking, but this is outa what i'm used to.

So she draw me a big heart on the glass of the shower this morning when we took turns. I know it's for me cause we're alone at the appartement, mainly working in respective rooms.

What even the heck is that move ? I shouldn't even comment on it, do I ? Girl still with boyfriend BTW
Since she has a boyfriend, don't make any moves.

If she had no boyfriend, it'd be a different piece of advice I'd be giving you.
 

2Rocky

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I had a very flirty female friend do something similar on the dust on my car back window when I was married.

My wife saw it and never said a word.
 
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