"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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And she said " you're so intense "

U

unixguy

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I was at the club chlling last night with some friends. And I went to talk to talk to this girl that I found to be attactive. After talking to her for a while about just this and that and a few dances she tells me " you're so intense".

I asked her what is that supposed to mean? she said " I don't know there is just something about you , you are just so intense i can see it your eyes".

And that was all that was said ..

any thoughts?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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M

MisterAl

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The intense comment is a good thing. I've gotten that before. She said to you, "My IL in you is quite high. Please ask me for my home telephone number."

Sooooo.......

How many days will you be waiting before you call her to set the first date?
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by MisterAl
The intense comment is a good thing. I've gotten that before. She said to you, "My IL in you is quite high. Please ask me for my home telephone number."

Sooooo.......

How many days will you be waiting before you call her to set the first date?
Click to expand...
I'll also add that she meant that you have good control of yourself and you are not easily read as many AFCs. Basically, you are in the drivers seat and she can only follow your lead.
 
U

unixguy

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After that we talked for a while as good as we could in the club nothing too deep or anything just club talk. I did get her home and cell # and she made it a point to tell me she will be back out saturday.

So I was thinking of calling Saturday around 12 and seeing if she wants to go have some pre-club drinks.

What really got me here is that this is the fist time I have ever had a girl tell me this.

Kind of makes me wonder. About how different girls take this kind of thing. If i am always intense it can work for me or against me depending on how mentaly strong the girl is.


-unixguy
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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M

MisterAl

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I suggest that you not go to the club with her this Saturday evening. I'd call her probably tonight to ask her out and make solid plans for a lunch/drinks/ice cream/coffee date on a weekday or weeknight next week. Then get off the damn phone.

At the club you will have to compete harder for her attention. Getting her drinks _before_ you go out clubbing again at the same place isn't the right plan. Why put alcohol in her to get her socially uninhibited for _other_people_? Makes no sense to me.

This Saturday go to a different club and get different numbers.
 
F

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by unixguy
Kind of makes me wonder. About how different girls take this kind of thing. If i am always intense it can work for me or against me depending on how mentaly strong the girl is.


-unixguy
Click to expand...
Why don't you make it easy for yourself and decide what kind of women you want to persue. If you want one that is mentally strong fine, keep up what you are doing. If you want the oposite, do something else. Don't feel that you need to adjust for everyone, pick YOUR line and follow it.
 
B

bp1974

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Being intense is good, and can be a big turn on. It's important to balance it with warmth, smiles and humour too. Intense on its own gets boring.
 
R

R19

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I was in a meeting a couple weeks ago and my managing director conveyed to me that I was intense, more than most people he has worked with. This is not the first time that this has happened in a professional setting. At first I thought BFD, but then it hit me...

I have had girls comment that I was intense at some point or other in situations that turned out good and bad. I have gotten comments like 'you're intense' vs. 'you're soooooooooo intense.

I think that intensity is an attractive masculine trait, that is a huge positive when mixed with the actions of a DJ. Intense and AFC do not mix = stalker or something like that. It is massive incongruence.

How do you manage your intensity? It is very difficult to be in a high performance area professionally and then tone down all that goes with it if your success and survival is dependent on those traits. This is similar to the what brilliant people face when they go out they are likely to be top draw in 'book smarts' and outgunned in 'street smarts' and social skills.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A

Apocalypse Now

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Like others said, I think "intense" is a very good quality, but it must be balanced. Charles Manson, for example, is on the extreme side of intensity.
 
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