An Introduction (Very Lengthy)

[TheSmoothOperator]

Hello everyone! I discovered this site in August I think. I've read a lot, but I haven't done much
I am a 22 year old student at University of California Irvine. I've never been on a date before, never kissed a girl before, never even let myself like a girl before because I felt it was wrong. I also played the nice guy to death. I felt so bad about myself because of my low self-esteem that I tried to be the nicest person possible, and I felt liking a girl, having sexual desires, was not "nice" so I never tried to pursue girls. In short, I was the classic AFC and classic nice guy.
Things started to change when I started reading the DJ Bible, Weapons of Mass Seduction, and the DJ Bootcamp. I feel a lot better about myself now, I feel like I've changed a lot mentally, i.e. I realize looks aren't as important as I thought they were, being a man means trying to get what you want (including sexual relationships), etc.
Well, I made a little bit of progress on overcoming my AFCness the last few months. I've dramatically increased my self-esteem and self-confidence. I can honestly say that I no longer hate myself, I actually like myself a little bit now. Also, I now play the role of emotional tampon to girls.
Also, since I was always good at making friends in class and work, but was always an outcast/loner outside of school and work, I started making eye contact with girls and smiling at them. I even got a few hi's on one day.
I was really proud of myself because one day in class, a girl sat next to me, I talked to her for the entire class, and asked her to lunch (she had a boyfriend so she declined). I was proud of myself for doing something I had never done before.
Later that day, I talked to a girl, introduced myself, and said, "Well, here's my bus stop. It was nice talking to you. Maybe we can continue this sometime" as I handed her my cell phone. I got the number! It lead nowhere, but it was my first number.
Anyway, I'm returning to school this Wednesday. I want to handle this area of my life. It sucks being a virgin, but it sucks even more feeling powerless and guilty over this area of my life. So honestly, I want to have sex before I turn 23 in March. I'm willing to pay the price. I've read a lot on this site and some other materials. I think I have a good idea of what to say and do with girls. But I don't really have an idea on how to get started. I tried getting 50 hi's, but I could never get eye contact.
So, I guess I'll end this long, long, intro with some questions. What should I do now? Where should I go to meet girls? What steps should I take now? Okay, thanks for inspiring me and helping me. I look forward to hearing the advice of you Don Juans.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Nice name, Sade has a beautiful song called Smooth Operator...I was gonna name myself it too

Welcome to the site that will change your life for the better(if used correctly) Right now, I'd say try the bootcamp again, and this time get those Eye contact, because IRL, everyone is looking for an opportunity to look at something in their boring lives. When I first started BC it was the other way around and i ha trouble withHi's but EC's were everywhere. Bootcamp is structured and gives you preset goals and slowly moulds you into theman you want to be. Every person who has finished the Bootcamp has become very educated in seduction and how things work in the field.

You sounds like you are doing much better than before but you gotta keep pushing yourself. Humans are never content, it is a gift and a curse...

 

[ego]

"Well, I made a little bit of progress on overcoming my AFCness the last few months. I've dramatically increased my self-esteem and self-confidence. I can honestly say that I no longer hate myself, I actually like myself a little bit now."

That's awsome, man! You've already increased yourself amazingly, and i'm glad to see that you're going in the right direction.

I was really proud of myself because one day in class, a girl sat next to me, I talked to her for the entire class, and asked her to lunch (she had a boyfriend so she declined). I was proud of myself for doing something I had never done before.

She declinded, and you felt proud of yourself due to the fact that you took a shoot (even though you missed). What can I say? It's damn good, since you're learning that rejection is better than regret. Every time you get rejected, you're improving! The things that doesn't kill you will only make you stronger... True words.

Anyway, I'm returning to school this Wednesday. I want to handle this area of my life. It sucks being a virgin, but it sucks even more feeling powerless and guilty over this area of my life. So honestly, I want to have sex before I turn 23 in March. I'm willing to pay the price. I've read a lot on this site and some other materials. I think I have a good idea of what to say and do with girls. But I don't really have an idea on how to get started. I tried getting 50 hi's, but I could never get eye contact.

First off all, the most important thing in your life IS NOT to lose your virginity. But, to me it doesn't sound like that's your main priority either, which is good. You want to overcome your fear, and be able to feel proud/good about your life. You've improved a lot , and you're already feeling better, right? Some changes may be made over night, but to change your mind set, loose your virginity, and be able to live the life of your dreams takes time.

I really don't like the idea of setting up a date which you're supposed to have sex before. Yeah, it might create some motivation, but i'll also create negative presure and make you become more desperate. There are men(and women) out there who's having a good time and enjoying their lifes with their virginity left, and that's the sort of mindset that you're supposed to create.

Try to let go of the preasure. Main priority in your life is not to get laid. Your main priority in life is to be happy - and if you can't create happiness as a virgin, you'll never be able to create it at all.

I will, however, not ignore your goal - which is to get laid. So, let's go on...

What should I do now?

Since you've read the DJ bible and the Sosuave bootcamp a good idea is to start doing the practices in the bootcamp. Print the bootcamp (Yeah, it might be over 100 pages, but i'll help you to stay away from the computer. Because, you don't want to stay infront of the computer, do you? You've already been here way too many hours.)

I hope you understand what i mean. Or, wait, i'll explain. There are people here that knows every single word in the bible, all the techniques , situations, thousands of ways to get laid 'by the book'. They've posted hundreds and again hundreds of replies in the forum - But, they're still yet best friends with their virginity. I hope you understand what i mean.

Stay away from the computer, and instead of spending two hours infront of the PC monitor every night - Go out and start looking for girls, work out, clean the toilette. Whatever.

By the way, I just realized that i'm infront of the computer instead of approaching girls... erhm, whatever. Anyways, i'm not a virgin *proud*.

Once again: Start bootcamp! Make up small goal (not to get laid within 3 months, but to change yourself!!!), and then reach them ONE BY ONE! Start with the Hi's and smiling/eye contact. If you can't create eye contact with young hot babes, try with old ladies, guys, dogs, cats, erhm... whoever. Just get it started and you'll feel more confident the same secound.

Go on and small-talk with everybody you see. Ask them for stores and directions, if they got a lighter (if you smoke), or if they can tell you which time it is. How many times, and for how many days is up to you. Read the bootcamp - i'll give you create advice.

Once you're done you'll feel a real confidence boost, and be able to countinue with the next step, which is to give compliments and ask for phone numbers.

Before you even notice you'll have a couple of girlfriends around, who'll give you head 24 / 7 if you which.

But, BEFORE THAT, you'll need to pay the price - Which is to stop thinking about your GOD DAMN virginity!

You wrote that you never even had been on a date or kissed a girl. Make that your first goal before you get laid! Once you've started the bootcamp and got some numbers by approaching people, you'll be able to setup the date.

Once the date comes up, DON'T think about loosing your virginity!!!

Your first goal is to small-talk to the girls!
Your second goal is to get their phone numbers.!
Your third goal is to setup a date!
Your fourth goal is to make out / kiss!
Your fifth goal is to get inside her pants!

Don't expect to go from goal 1-5 with the same girl!!!


Good luck!

Last but not least: English is not my first language, so please - Don't fyck with me because of my spelling You may correct every single spelling mistake i've made, but don't be a b i t c h!

 

[TheSmoothOperator]

Microphone Fiend and Ego

Thank you so much for the advice. You guys are absolutely right. I'm going to attempt the Boot Camp again. And Ego, thanks for analyzing my post. You're right, I'm going to try to focus on and enjoy the process, i.e. the steps of the Boot Camp. I'm going to make the effort to get away from the computer, get out of the house.
Oh, and I know this question has been asked a million times, but where should I go to meet girls? Thanks again.

 

[ego]

"but where should I go to meet girls?"


First you better answer my question : Where do you live? I mean, is it a big city or small city? Downtown or outside?

Buss-stops are great if you want to small-talk to people. Malls or bigger stores are perfect if you want to practice eye contact / smiles. If there are any mall around just visit, have a good time, look around in stores you like, etc. etc. Why not have some fun and enjoy your time while doing the bootcamp? The important thing is that you go on your own(Remember: As DJ you're always on your own! You can do anything, and you don't need anybody to reach your goals! ) , so that you really get the feeling that you're all alone and on your own. It also might be easier if there are any bigger cities around (let's say max 1 hour away) , so you know that you can say and do whatever you want without approaching your best buddies girlfriends. Okay, you get the idea.

You like to go out to clubs? Are there any clubs around? If you like to dance you could always hit the dancefloor. A true homerun!

I'll give you some further ideas if you tell me more about your town.

 

[TheSmoothOperator]

Well, I go to school in Irvine, which is a commuter campus, so I guess I could go to shopping malls and stuff. I live in Southern California, so getting to Los Angeles, Riverside, or Long Beach isn't too far away. So I should hit up the bars? As for clubbing, I can't and don't dance, so I think that's out. So I guess I'm asking, do I just go where there's a lot of people, like malls and stuff? Sorry if I'm not getting it, I've never tried to meet girls before, so I'm basically starting from square one. Thanks again.

 

[ego]

"So I should hit up the bars?"

Yeah, but baybe later on when you got the balls to approach women that are looking for someone to hook up with as one night stand. It's always good practice to spend a couple of hours in a bar if you enjoy the time and have the opportunity to meet new people, but when it comes to the girls - Well, let's just say that you're not the only guy in the bar that is flirting with the HB's. I'm not saying that they're better than you, but you gotta start somewhere - And the right place is probably on the street.

There are, by the way, a lot of posts on the board with advice on where to meet women. Do a little search, and look in the bible.

But if you're asking me - Start with the street approaches.

"As for clubbing, I can't and don't dance, so I think that's out."

You could always learn! Well, not now maybe, but why not later on? If you don't like to dance - You shouldn't, of course! Remember to enjoy your time! Girls should always be the second priority. And if you don't like to go clubbing, you shouldn't. And when it comes to the approaches your main, and first priority, should never be to get laid - But to build your confidence and become the man you want! To create dreams, live by them, and understand that you're able to do ANYTHING if you really want!

Saying Hi or smile at people while making eye contact will never get you laid in the first place - But i'll give you a damn confidence boost, and you'll realize that the hot babes of your dreams are on the same level, or even below, you. They're human, just like you. And they're probably just waiting for a funny and confident guy. If not they're b'tches, and should be avoided at all costs . If you get rejected - They're the once that are mising something. You're always , AND REMEMER ALWAYS, in a win-win situation. Let me tell you.

If you get rejected, cool! Tell me about it! We'll laugh, the both of us, since it's so fvcking pathetic to be afraid for something like a rejection by a good-looking girl. I don't care if the hot babe on the street is Miss Universe - And you'll probably never get her phone number - But how can you be sure if you never find out? Again - Rejection is ALWAYS better than regret! Fvcking live by that rule. Die by that rule!

Hell, I've been around this board for a couple of months, and i'm improving myself every day. Today I walked around in the capital city Stockholm, in Sweden, and smiled at everybody. I always do. Some people look at me like i'm retarded, some look away since they got too low self-esteem to even look me in the eyes, and some look straight into my eyes, smile and turn around when i bypass them. Of course you can't walk around with a stupid smile on your face in the same place for hours, but since those people will see me for 2 -10 seconds only it doesn't matter.

You'll, anyways, ee that it isn't the end of the world if you get rejected on the field. You already got rejected, and what you learned were that nothing, not a damn nothing, happened. You're still alive, and guess what? You're improved! A situation in which you are the winner!

And, yeah, what else could happen while approaching? You might even get lucky! You get a phone number from someone, cool! You're the winner. Even if she doesn't pick up the phone when you're calling, or your date with the girl really sucks, you'll realize that you're getting somewhere. You went from nothing to something. You have improved yourself! You're the winner!

And, if you never approach and face the fear, if you never do anything, if you regret to confront your fear - Then, you're NOTHING! ZERO! A god damn fvcking looser! But, hey, you're not!

"So I guess I'm asking, do I just go where there's a lot of people, like malls and stuff?

Yes! Go the places you like to hang out at! Go to places where you feel good! If you like to walk around in the mall, just looking at beautiful girls and clothing - The more people the better! I'll help you to overcome your fear.

And, hmmm, try to avoid approaching people that seems to be in a rush. And remember the 3 second rule (or whatever you people call it). It simple means that you never should think about the people you're about to approach, or the specified situation, for more than 3 seconds.

Let's say that you see an old lady on the street and you want to know in which direction starbucks (or whatever) is. Do you get nervous or analyze what she might say when you walk up to approach? Probably not. You just need to find the direction, and ask her right on. The old lady is so harmless, and the worst thing that might happen is that she tells you "no, i'm sorry".

Same thing with the drop-dead beautiful hot babe. She's harmless, damn harmless, and the worst thing that could happen is that she tells you "no, im sorry".


Damn I write too long posts. How do you like my spelling? Eerhm.