An insight into afcness

[vorbis]

Theres this girl I know who I'm friendly with. (She lives an hour's drive away and is only 18 so she's not worth the trouble to lay her) Anyway, she's recently started going out with this 24 yo guy who is sounding like the stereotypical afc.

He brought her roses on the first date and told her she'd never forget him. (the way she said he said it sounded almost sinister).
He ALWAYS drives 45 minutes to see her. She doesn't yet drive.
After just 3 weeks of dating, he's told her he loves her. (She rang me today to tell me this and to ask if it was too soon)

On the flip side, she says she really really likes him BUT
they haven't had sex yet and she says she's going to make him wait a long time as she thinks this could be special. I asked her how long she normally makes a bf wait. It seemed that with her previous jerk bfs, they were having sex by now.

It'll be interesting to see how this pans out. Seems like one of those cases where the guy is gonna get no action or is gonna end up married to her!

 

[BacardiGuy]

Seems to me like a textbook case of WAPCE (women are pure concentrated evil).

Sounds like the guy has already been friendzoned. She's milking him for attention, time, and $$, and she herself may not even consciously realize it.

She may end up sleeping with him out of pity but even that's doubtful. I don't imagine this will last.

 

[vorbis]

well they have kissed but everything is definetly on her timetable. I'll let people know how it transpires!

 

[vorbis]

a further update.
She rang me this morning while I was driving into work.
They still haven't had sex and they've been going out for a month.
She blames him for this as she says he hasn't made a move.
She said she put her hand on his ass once and he asked her what she was up to????

I called her on a **** test she gave him. She got him a manicure for his birthday! I nearly crashed the car laughing when I heard that. The worst part, he was quite happy to get it and really enjoyed it. She thinks he's either sexually inexperienced or gay.

Her main complaint was that he didn't touch her when they were out. Just shows the importance of kino. The upshot it seems is that she'll probally end up dumping him soon. I don't think you could get more textbook afc behaviour than what this guy is doing.

 

[vp171s]

question...

why are we discussing some guy and his problems? I say mind your business and snicker when she breaks up with him, but don't post his failures here. That's just not cool. Even though I know how much better that makes you feel about yourself.

 

[vorbis]

I used to be as "nice" as you seem vp171s. Thing is we're talking about a guy no one here knows. I've been in similar situations to the guy in question. If I ever met him, I'd try and give him some pointers but would know that behaviour like that is stuff only he can change for yourself. I posted it here as an example of how a promising situation can get ****ed up.

 

[d9930380]

vp171s - Because it's interesting listening to this story as it gives the girl's perspective of going out with an AFC.

However it sounds like vorbis has the hots for this girl and is actively trying to break them up.

Girls tease guys because they know what power it gives them and how it actually builds the attraction. Once they meet a "nice guy", they fall into this trap because they think he might be special however if the dude then isn't willing to step up to the plate and not be a total AFC then she will start to think less of him.

It's not that all WAPCE although that's how it might seem. :->

 

[vp171s]

vp171s - Because it's interesting listening to this story as it gives the girl's perspective of going out with an AFC.

However it sounds like vorbis has the hots for this girl and is actively trying to break them up.

I misunderstood. I was under the impression that vorbis was trying to convince us how he's a better guy for her. Go ahead and tell me I was wrong

 

[d9930380]

Just one last thing. Girls LIKE nice guys - they just don't like guys with NO balls. The problem is most guys go toooooo far one way or the other.

 

[d9930380]

vp171s - He was trying to convince us of that - you where right. He's also trying to convince himself of that so he would have the confidence to go out with this girl.

lol

 

[vorbis]

actually I was wrong in my first post, she doesn't live an hour's drive away its actually an hour and a half's drive away. I would probably bang this chick if an opportunity presented itself, i.e. she came into Boston. However there's no way I'd add an hour and a half's drive onto my already hour long commute each day.

Whether their relationship works out or not is none of my business. This just struck me as textbook afc behaviour. Its a case study, we all believe afc behaviour is bad. Heres some proof.

 

[vp171s]

@d9930380 - haha yup
@vorbig - no worries, and yes classic AFC material, reminds me of my own very similar experience :rock:

 

[Hitman10000]

You know what I hate about people asking for advice... when they ask for advice for their "24 year old friend" when in actuality it is the original poster himself.

As to my advice to this '24 year old" or "vorbis" , I will say this: Stop asking her out on dates, stop talking to her. Let her do the talking, let her do the asking out - You've done enough to indicate strong sexual interest it's time to be a man and see if she's going to return the favor. Be a man.

 

[d9930380]

vp171s - It's cool man. You like her and you're just being jealous. Your using the cummute as a sort of excuse to yourself. You agree with it but you also know that you want to bang her regardless. You're caught in two minds and before you make up your mind you don't want this "AFC" coming along and taking it.

It's quite funny actually - To us anyway. lol

 

[d9930380]

sorry that was directed at vorbis

 

[vorbis]

eh Hitman, I have no problem posting about problems I'm having. Check my post history if you feel so strongly about it.

d9930380, do you even work? My free time is limited as it is. I live in BOSTON. Theres loads of chicks here without me feeling the need to drive out to some obsure town in the middle of Massachusetts. The only girl I have some feelings for atm has gone back to Ireland. I posted a fr about that here.

 

[d9930380]

vorbis - Working right now! I'm on a break ;-)

Chill Man, I'm also just busting balls - I'm not saying she's your oneitus or anything, she was a girl you where gaming and now some other dude is moving in on your territory - It doesn't matter if she means that much to you. It's perfectly natural - We would ALL react the same way. Jealousy is a sign that your acting like the Alpha Male - Well Done!

 

[vp171s]

vorbis - Working right now! I'm on a break ;-)

Chill Man, I'm also just busting balls - I'm not saying she's your oneitus or anything, she was a girl you where gaming and now some other dude is moving in on your territory - It doesn't matter if she means that much to you. It's perfectly natural - We would ALL react the same way. Jealousy is a sign that your acting like the Alpha Male - Well Done!

Question...

Why are you comforting him? What is this, day-care? Jeez
Now everybody back on topic! :trouble:

In the future, vorbis, think about what you're about to post.
"Theres this girl I know who I'm friendly with. (She lives an hour's drive away and is only 18 so she's not worth the trouble to lay her)"
Bold1: Girl, and friendly in one sentence? Who are you kidding.
Bold2: Not worth the trouble to lay but worth the trouble to talk on the phone to and ponder about her problems?

I don't think I need to go on.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

This thread was an interesting read but you can observe afc behaviour everyday around you,no need to make a thread about it.I believe the original poster still has some doubt if the "dj" way is the correct one.

 

[vorbis]

well, just to show I'm fair. I've slagged off this guy enough but it seems that he's finally located his balls. She rang me there today complaining, i told her to lower her voice and stop whining, i listen to the story just for entertainment value and practicing being ****ier.

Seems he's not calling her every night as before, he also flaked on some plans they had. Generally sounded like he's downgrading her importance in his life.

Its made her mad and raised a plummeting interest level. She also said he told her he was feeling 'frisky" this week. So far they've only kissed after a month going out. So I say fair play, he made a fair few mistakes but was able to correct his game (something I fail to do at times) and repair the situation. He should be ****ing her by the end of the week.

As a sidenote, she went on a date with another guy to shop for lingerie! That poor poor guy. She rejected his attempt at kissing as she's going out with the other guy. It gets better, she tells me this poor guy told his therapist about her and the therapist says that she's bad news as she has a bf. What 18yo guy a. has a therapist b. tells his date about it!

Its these kind of messed u stories that make it worth listening to her for 10 minutes.