An experience to share (the player being played)

[Asasione]

I think you had a chance, her behavior seems like she gave you many cues which you couldn't follow through with. She told you she wants to be swept off her feet by someone (you), she was dressed up, she had an excuse (alcohol), you just didn't take control of the situation and escalate. You caused her to reject you by killing the challenge, confessing and making yourself available by saying you had problems in your marriage. Great lessons for you, include kino in your interactions, communicate your intent verbally or by escalating to sex, don't make excuses for your failure find solutions, you're better off making positive conclusions IMO etc.

You screwed up with one woman there's plenty more that will be interested in you. There are moral implications but, morals will only hold you back from success. Morals don't appeal to women anyway and your stuck in your marriage because of your wife's threats. You can work on your marriage or if you choose you can enrich your life with new women.

 

[909pua]

Well, Hover411, I did try to divorce my wifey once and she tried to jump down our apartment, so I gave in, as I didn't want to have blood on my hands for the rest of my life.

Hey man im in the same situation as you are. In the last few weeks, I've been chilling with my side plate, been coming home late and making up excuses and lies while I'm banging and eating this chick out. My wife would wait for me and then go psycho when I got home. She destroyed my eye glasses, one of my 12" records (im a disc jockey) that she snapped in half, destroyed my cell phone (now I have a new one), ripped one of my halloween outfits that I had to go buy another one, and my pilot sunglasses. My wife is psycho dude for real. THe other day she told me that if I ever left her, she would kill me with my gun and she doesn't care about going to jail. She gave me many warnings that if I get a girl pregnant on the side, she would cut my d$ck off. I've been with her for 8 years and truly am not happy but what is holding us together is my house and my kid (7 yrs old). I'm in a tuff situation. On top of this, my side plate is acting up. I just have to take a breather and relax.

 

[909pua]

Umm player or not. There are some common sense morals that I think everyone has. You are married.

Don't you see anything wrong in cheating on her?
What if she was having an affair with someone she worked with, would you be okay with it?

Hey spicker, this forum is how to be a DJ which involves cheating. So I dont understand why you are against it. Maybe you've never been married.

 

[spicker5]

Hey spicker, this forum is how to be a DJ which involves cheating. So I dont understand why you are against it. Maybe you've never been married.

Might as well promote rape as well

 

[hover411]

Hey spicker, this forum is how to be a DJ which involves cheating. So I dont understand why you are against it. Maybe you've never been married.

hahaha,

where exactly does it say being a DJ involves cheating? DJ's are up front about spinning plates, not lying like cowards.

 

[Andy77]

Here's my final analysis of the situation:

My friend's interest in me was probably at a very basic level: someone fun and "harmless" (since married) to hang around with, but gross or immoral to sleep with. I think a lot of women (especially the innocent-looking, educated, in-demand types) do that all the time. And when I confessed, I spoiled all the fun for her--not to mention, make me look like a desperate, cheating cad. As guys already already know, my last wuss email to her saying that I value our friendship resulted only in a curt reply of "sure. all the best".

Here's what I am going to do next (next six months):

1. Go on more dates with missus. Not that I really want to romance her again, it's just that at this period, I need a woman to repair my wounded self-esteem. My wifey can be a freaking psycho and ***** at times, but by and large, is compliant and hardly refuses sex (which is why maybe I got bored in this first place). I am also taking a short holiday with my missus, in an attempt to forget about my friend onenitis.

2. End all contact. Means no initiation of contact whatsoever on my part.

3. Now, in the unlikely event that she initiates contact (say a few months later), I must ignore her. There is a remote possibility of this as she did reply to my last email, albeit curt. Now if she initiates contact, it doesn't mean that she is interested or what--she is probably just curious to see if I'm still in her hands. Which is why I MUST ignore her--because she will expect me to respond, to deny her the pleasure of finding out about my life, to let her wonder, to get back some pride.

4. Lucky for me, we don't cross paths often. If I do bump into her, I will act as if I do not know her.

What is my objective in doing all this, you may ask? It is no longer to bang; this cause is too late now. All this is just an exercise in forgetting her and esteem damage limitation.

 

[Warrior74]

Here's my final analysis of the situation:

My friend's interest in me was probably at a very basic level: someone fun and "harmless" (since married) to hang around with, but gross or immoral to sleep with. I think a lot of women (especially the innocent-looking, educated, in-demand types) do that all the time. And when I confessed, I spoiled all the fun for her--not to mention, make me look like a desperate, cheating cad. As guys already already know, my last wuss email to her saying that I value our friendship resulted only in a curt reply of "sure. all the best".

Here's what I am going to do next (next six months):

1. Go on more dates with missus. Not that I really want to romance her again, it's just that at this period, I need a woman to repair my wounded self-esteem. My wifey can be a freaking psycho and ***** at times, but by and large, is compliant and hardly refuses sex (which is why maybe I got bored in this first place). I am also taking a short holiday with my missus, in an attempt to forget about my friend onenitis.

2. End all contact. Means no initiation of contact whatsoever on my part.

3. Now, in the unlikely event that she initiates contact (say a few months later), I must ignore her. There is a remote possibility of this as she did reply to my last email, albeit curt. Now if she initiates contact, it doesn't mean that she is interested or what--she is probably just curious to see if I'm still in her hands. Which is why I MUST ignore her--because she will expect me to respond, to deny her the pleasure of finding out about my life, to let her wonder, to get back some pride.

4. Lucky for me, we don't cross paths often. If I do bump into her, I will act as if I do not know her.

What is my objective in doing all this, you may ask? It is no longer to bang; this cause is too late now. All this is just an exercise in forgetting her and esteem damage limitation.

Sounds like a plan. If you start dating your wife again she might start acting better. If she asks you why the sudden change, lie. Women always notice a sudden change in a man's behaviour. What ever you do don't admit the truth. It might make her jealous or suspicious, but it might also increase her interest in you. Just NEVER tell her the truth. Eventually she will stop asking.

Good luck.

 

[909pua]

Sounds like a plan. If you start dating your wife again she might start acting better. If she asks you why the sudden change, lie. Women always notice a sudden change in a man's behaviour. What ever you do don't admit the truth. It might make her jealous or suspicious, but it might also increase her interest in you. Just NEVER tell her the truth. Eventually she will stop asking.

Good luck.

Yup my uncle told me "deny til you die" LOL