America lowers men's self esteem

[BaronOfHair]

For the last decades, the reputation of America as the 'Land of Milk & Honey' has been sliding towards the gutter

And not for the reasons most commonly cited either

 

[BaronOfHair]

Productive average men are respected in most of the world

Yeah, in Saudi Arabia the planet is yours for the taking, if you're a heterosexual man with a decent job... UNTIL you start questioning the inerrancy of The Quaran in public + Advocating for the abolition of The House Of Saud and replacing that billboard for despotism with a constitutional democracy. Then, you're more of a pariah than a Korowai, who refuses to partake in cannibalism


"For everyones mental health really"

This is true https://www.thefire.org/news/so-speak-podcast-coddling-american-mind , and has been for the past two decades. Whether or not 9/11 was the genesis of this, or accelerated a trend that was already in the rough, remains unknown

 

[BaronOfHair]

Wow. Interesting video. Basically, if you violate a Federal Law, you're royally f-cked.

As he points out, we've also got more federal laws on the books than can even be counted, most of which are deliberately written in vague, slippery, and unspecific language so that it's almost impossible to NOT violate them. This is really the byproduct of a more pernicious mindset that's been increasingly pervasive throughout much of The Anglosphere since the latter half of The 70s... We've tried to criminalize and regulate our way out of what are essentially complex social problems

Exs.

-Universities try to manage HYPOTHETICAL conflicts between students by imposing regulations which prevent the use of "problematic" language

-Primary schools have been desperately trying to stamp out ALL possible conflict between students, by enacting "Anti-Bullying" policies which are vague and overly broad. Even the term "bullying" itself has been redefined to mean: "Any words or behavior you personally find objectionable"

-Private corporations are hellbent on ridding their offices of any and all dust-ups between employees, by expanding their HR departments more and more each year, for the sake of promoting "emotional safety", even though the definition of that term changes every five minutes

This has all left us with the most constricted social atmosphere in history, aside from perhaps The 1950s

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yes, very interesting. I already knew the U.S. Justice system was broken, but this also explains how Federal law differs so much from State law and the lack of mens rea requirements in Federal statutes.

The justice system isn't broken... Beginning in The 1970s, we everyday citizens started calling on our judiciary to rectify problems which aren't especially or even remotely legal in nature(Drug addiction being perhaps the most egregious example), and we're now dealing with the aftermath of such foolish thinking. Bringing this back around to The OP:

If the self-esteem of most everyday Americans has taken a beating(And this doesn't even address the validity of "self-esteem"as a concept), a large portion of this may just be attributable to the fact that entirely too many of us desperate for someone else(The criminal justice system included) to come and save us, even from ourselves lots of times

 

[LTG71]

As the sun starts to set on my 40's, I've finally started to see my true value in those things you mentioned. And when I look at women my own age, i have little to no desire for them. I bring more to the table than ever before in every single area(minus a few wrinkles), so my mindset has started to change. A 50yo woman has nothing to offer on par to what I offer SMV wise.

My current girlfriend is 20years younger and its been a breath of fresh air.

You come to realize more and more that women don’t bring much to the table. Men are expected to make something of themselves and create value. Women are given value starting at puberty. Women will rely on their beauty to get them by and that is typically used up by 50. Once that’s gone, what else is there to offer If you never had to create something?

The video post shows how worthless they can be. 30 years old, seasoned alcoholic. You can hear the desperation in her voice, “no responsibilities, no dependents, only this pup.” Exactly, no man, just you, your gal pals and Jose Cuervo. In the old days, she might have gotten married in her twenties and started a life. Now she floats around life with no purpose. Only getting older, worn out and collecting more baggage.

Better you found a younger model with less miles and less emotional damage.

 

[SW15]

As the sun starts to set on my 40's, I've finally started to see my true value in those things you mentioned. And when I look at women my own age, i have little to no desire for them. I bring more to the table than ever before in every single area(minus a few wrinkles), so my mindset has started to change. A 50yo woman has nothing to offer on par to what I offer SMV wise.

You come to realize more and more that women don’t bring much to the table. Men are expected to make something of themselves and create value. Women are given value starting at puberty. Women will rely on their beauty to get them by and that is typically used up by 50. Once that’s gone, what else is there to offer If you never had to create something?

Both of these are great posts.

In early life, women's looks are extremely valuable in the sexual marketplace. The appeal of youthfulness and possible fertility have more value than a man's looks have to a woman. While male looks are valuable, it's not the same as female looks.

With the passage of time, women's looks fade even with good lifestyle habits. By 45-50, that is typically used up. A 50 year old woman can still be attractive to a 50 year old man, but that tends to work out best when they have a long shared history together. If I were to think of a 50 year old woman paired with a 50 year old man, I could imagine a 50 year old man valuing her for the 25+ years they've spent together and the fact that they've likely raised 1-3 children together to 18+ years old at that point. I doubt a 50 year old man would feel the same way about even a good looking, childless 50 year old woman who he didn't spend the past 25+ years with.

A 40-50 year old woman who is single, childless, normal range BMI, and has a $125,000+ year salary from her bachelor's/advanced degree and 15-25 years of work experience isn't as valuable in the sexual marketplace. This woman is most valuable for her BMI and her childlessness would be slightly less baggage (she'd likely bring in past dating trauma). Her education and work accomplishments have little SMV value. While her BMI is valuable, her skin will have signs of aging even with good maintenance and she doesn't compete as well with younger women.

My current girlfriend is 20years younger and its been a breath of fresh air.

40-55 year old men typically find women 20 years younger than them to be a breath of fresh air compared to women near their own age.

At 41, I would much prefer to date a college senior or recent college grad (21-25 years old) as compared to a 37-41 year old woman. I would find a 21-25 year old to be a breath of fresh air at this point in my life.

 

[Solomon]

I don't disagree that the dating market sucks and is probably the worst its ever been. But I stand firm that if you check the majority of the boxes that are important to women, you will have plenty of opportunity. I can't feel sorry for the guys that aren't willing to put the work in. Its not like the competition is fierce to be in the top 30% of men that have the best chances with women.

I agree with this, a lot of men are struggling in this era, but if you look at your competition heck even being in good shape will automatically put you in the top 10%-30% depending on where you live. The guys who continuously whine year after year are the ones who ain't putting the work in it's that simple. The guys who tend to struggle are guys who are not putting the work in, we are not all built equal some guys have to work harder than others it is what it is life is never been fair and it's not fair when it comes to women.

Great post Duke!

 

[Borknagar]

I don't disagree that the dating market sucks and is probably the worst its ever been. But I stand firm that if you check the majority of the boxes that are important to women, you will have plenty of opportunity. I can't feel sorry for the guys that aren't willing to put the work in. Its not like the competition is fierce to be in the top 30% of men that have the best chances with women.

As a guy that checks many boxes I'll have to strongly disagree.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

In my case these girls did not want a Greencard. I was genuinely exotic to them. That myth of the Greencard girl is overblown. Like you said people know that America is not what it used to be. Many of these women have better lives in their home nation.

Hey you still have to be good looking to pull in Eastern Europe. So I kind of agree but if you have a unique exotic look it is a playground. I think this is what the @justaroundthecorner was saying. The exotic looking guys do better in Eastern Europe. Just like the anglo looking guys are exotic in Asia and they do very well there.

I'm very Anglo looking (English), how would I likely fare in Eastern Europe?

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Like most walking wallets, I reckon.

Luckily I've never led with my wallet.

 

[zekko]

I don't consider myself 'good looking' or even 'handsome', but I've attracted women from all over the place. I think, based on my experience, that having an 'interesting/exciting vibe' is more important than mere (exotic) looks.

Wearing a cat gives you that Dr. Evil vibe. It's the ultimate bad boy look.

 

[The Duke]

As a guy that checks many boxes I'll have to strongly disagree.

Please explain.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Doesn't matter. They will pretend not to notice your wallet.

Don't lead with your wallet, bro. That's a terrible idea.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nobody can lower your self esteem. Only you can do that. It's why it's called "self" esteem.

 

[Pandora]

I'm very Anglo looking (English), how would I likely fare in Eastern Europe?

You would kill it in the Carribean, Sub Saharan Africa, Latina America and Asia. I dont think you will stand out enough to kill it in slavic nations. I may be wrong though.

I used to live in the Carribean and white dudes did well.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Nobody can lower your self esteem. Only you can do that. It's why it's called "self" esteem.

And we haven't even gotten into the specious nature of this concept of "self-esteem" https://www.thecut.com/2017/05/self-esteem-grit-do-they-really-help.html

 

[corrector]

@Pandora
Overall, young men are living in a very bad time when it comes to attracting a partner.

You don't say?

 

[Isildur1]

I think a lot of people will disagree with you on this. There are many guys who check all the boxes that are important to women and still have very few opportunities.
That's why we can say that's something is wrong in the current dating market. Women are completely illogical these days.

geographically its just hard to be appreciated as a man in the west. -

having doing daygame in China, Kazakstan and Saudi comparing the reactions to London it was just far easier in south east asia than it was in London. Hoeflation is real in the west- I see my female cousins in America being treated like Princesses despite not being much themselves beauty wise compared to women of the east they also treat their men with far less respect. The east we have hoedisinflation where I see very average western men with women they absolutely wouldn't be able to get in the west.

 

[Isildur1]

Not to mention all the guys who keep whining about the inequality and unfairness of it all. Please stop the whining and complaining, that is like gossiping, something for women.

You want to be a man? You will have to learn how to deal with adversity.

And not by making yourself into a victim.

blanket statements like this whilst in theory seem correct there is also time management aspect involved too

Compared doing daygame to London To Shanghai I was able to get as many lays in Shanghai as I was in London with 3 times less approaching , with more enjoyable dates and women who had all in all a better loving more caring attitude than the women I dated in Western cities.

Men's SMV matters a lot in the position they are in with the quality of men around them - if they are scarce asset they will be treated better- a lot of men's dating problems can be solved to some degree by meeting women in different areas and they will save a lot of time and get a lot more success where they are valued.

 

[Borknagar]

Please explain.

It's still a rarely that a quality woman pops up, and has genuine interest. Most aren't very authentic.