I know I know, I havent always posted the best news on here, but it seems to me I have always been unrealistic when it comes to the dating game. Ideally, I want to find a quality woman to get married to and start a family with. But obviously, I have to go out there and meet one. I read that article 8 dating myths, and the whole thing about not guys thinking they don't have what it takes or there is something wrong with them, I can relate. It mentions confidence. How do you build the right sort of confidence? I mean, I have been so inactive, I havent even gone out and tried.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Am I unrealistic?
- Thread starter ItsOnNow
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
IMO confidence comes from the high of success. True confidence will happen automatically when you start getting accepted as a fun charismatic guy by the people you approach. So practice and notice the difference.ItsOnNow said:I know I know, I havent always posted the best news on here, but it seems to me I have always been unrealistic when it comes to the dating game. Ideally, I want to find a quality woman to get married to and start a family with. But obviously, I have to go out there and meet one. I read that article 8 dating myths, and the whole thing about not guys thinking they don't have what it takes or there is something wrong with them, I can relate. It mentions confidence. How do you build the right sort of confidence? I mean, I have been so inactive, I havent even gone out and tried.
ezily
Senior Don Juan
Confidence will come when you stop caring so much. If you go out there and worry about every interaction and reaction from a girl you will get nowhere. When you stop worrying you will have more success (at least in your mind anyway).
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
DarthAngel707
Don Juan
If all your doing is trying to get married you don't need to actually sarge. Just join clubs, have hobbies, and build a regular social circle and the girl will eventually find you and marry you.
Worked for my parents and worked for the baby boomer generation in general. You think all the dads in the world studied pickup and went clubbin every Friday? =)
Worked for my parents and worked for the baby boomer generation in general. You think all the dads in the world studied pickup and went clubbin every Friday? =)
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
ION,
please do yourself a HUGE favor...
...do not go out 'looking for a wife' at 22 years old.
PLEASE, please work on yourself first.
I could elaborate.
But you will do yourself a great service by looking inside and working on yourself.
please do yourself a HUGE favor...
...do not go out 'looking for a wife' at 22 years old.
PLEASE, please work on yourself first.
I could elaborate.
But you will do yourself a great service by looking inside and working on yourself.
Im not exactly looking for a wife. I mean, its hard when you feel alone, and yet people you're age are already married. I mean, that whole thing of finding and being with someone for long enough time.I have been looking inside, dont know if thats helped.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
The matrix wants you to get married in your twenties. Wake up , the Matrix has you!!! Seriously, go out and meet women. Don't look for the "one" or a wife. Yes, you might be jealous of other people having a relationship while you don't. But, don't be!! Most relationships suck.
Have fun in your life man and work on yourself.
Have fun in your life man and work on yourself.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You build confidence by doing what you fear. You face your fears to become desensitized to it. If you're afraid to have conversations with strangers, then you have more conversations to gain confidence in dealing with it. If you're afraid to approach a woman, you go approach women to become desensitized to the fear that you have. Anything that you fear, you face it. You do that which you fear. It's plain and simple.
If you learn something new, but fear it, go do it. Face your fear and look on the good side of it. Look at the positive side of what it will do for you if you face your fear and build confidence.
Your mind is destroying you. You can sit on your computer and read night after night on how to gain confidence, but until you act on it, you will never have it.
If you learn something new, but fear it, go do it. Face your fear and look on the good side of it. Look at the positive side of what it will do for you if you face your fear and build confidence.
Your mind is destroying you. You can sit on your computer and read night after night on how to gain confidence, but until you act on it, you will never have it.
You're right. You pretty much put into words whats been holding me back. I cant get over it. I mean, I realize what I must do, but this time gone bye is whats killing me. I mean, I feel behind as a result of this. I have been spending too much time either on the computer or doing nothing. I am afraid of people I think. I got to get over this.
Do not look for a wife now because people your age are getting married that's foolish. What you should focus on is loving yourself more and stop being so hard on yourself. What your problem is you give people more credit than you give yourself that's why you are afraid of them.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I am right, and there's no two ways about it. Don't worry about what you've done with your time because all the time you've spent on your computer has led you to this moment. You're standing at a fork in the road, and it's time you made a decision about which road you will to take. You can sit at your computer and be scared or you can get out of your shell and face your fears. Once you do, you'll realize that no one likes a guy that cares what they think of him. So, you might as well stop worrying about their thoughts of you.ItsOnNow said:You're right. You pretty much put into words whats been holding me back. I cant get over it. I mean, I realize what I must do, but this time gone bye is whats killing me. I mean, I feel behind as a result of this. I have been spending too much time either on the computer or doing nothing. I am afraid of people I think. I got to get over this.
How do I not care so much? I normally dont care what others think of me. But I suppose I dont give myself enough credit. I mean, I know not to be "the nice guy", but im not the ******* either. Esp like the stuff leykis talks about and his rules and all that.
No need for you to get married. Dont wanna be a d1ck but seems you might be a little needy. Stop that immediately. Even though a lot of people here will disagree, you need to have the mind frame i am better than everyone in some way or another. So be nice to people and social but once they put your ego and esteem in jeporady basically fvck them cause you dont need them and you are better than that. Seriously work on that and you will get respect and confidence faster. I dont try to do that thats just they way I am cause i work on myself alot and buildign up my physical, mental, education and personality qualities. go get some money and buy nice sh1t that should help. My advice goes against the grain but dude I ride on my high horse while the haters are talkin smack cause they can't feel the same way. It took time but I dont regret acting the way I do. Someone like a girl tries to hurt you they cant cause you are riding higher. Its not always good to convey that but just keep it in the back of your head. Start listening to a lot of rap and that should also do the trick
The only way to get rid of the old you is by recognizing that you can not continue your life being that way. You must put all your bad traits in a potato sack and whack it with a shovel until its stops moving. Then throw it down a mountain to a river. Make sure there are crocodiles and piranhas in that river.
What i'm trying to say is you're going to have to take DRASTIC measures if you want to change your life. I'm sure you're tried to improve yourself at least a few times before. Why did it not work? Because you didn't go out there and sacrificed, exhausted, humiliated yourself until you got what you wanted.
What i'm trying to say is you're going to have to take DRASTIC measures if you want to change your life. I'm sure you're tried to improve yourself at least a few times before. Why did it not work? Because you didn't go out there and sacrificed, exhausted, humiliated yourself until you got what you wanted.