"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Am i taking a wrong turn here with this hot babe?

desperado

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There is this girl i have been dating for close to 18 months now, and so far everything has been going smoothly for me because i applied lots of my dj moves on her. She is a 9.8 by the way! Am so sure i would not have gotten her if it were not for the moves.

Now, lately she seems to be spending a lot of time with her friends all of whom are guys, which is cool with me. however one particular guy calls her all the time and sends her text messages, but she said he was only a friend and i believed her. But one day she forgot her phone home and i could not resist the temptation to read her messages, i know, bad move...
She had been texting this dude every single day, and sending stuff like i miss you, and he, sending her kisses. I confronted her about it but she says he is just a friend, i got pissed after reading the messages and told her am not comfortable and i had a strong feeling she was seeing another guy. When she denied i asked her to show me her messages, (the ones i had read). She hesitated but after i pushed her so hard, she did.

The thing is, i feel like she is losing interest in me and finding more fun with this guy, what can i do to push this guy completely out of her life, and avoid this kind of situation coming up again?
Secondly, did I read too much into a message? is "I miss you" a harmless message?

Thanks
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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scottfall

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Not alot you can do. Its best to move on, you dont have to dump her.. just start talking to other girls. This relationship is done from a trust standpoint.
 

Trajhenkhet01

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Keep it casual and less available. No need to sweat if its just dating. If she is still down, she'll run back faster than you saying "whats this ****?"
 

desperado

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Thanks guys. Scottfall, the question of trust is my biggest worry actually. Before this, I never had any suspicions, but now everything she says, i accept with a pinch of salt. Am worried if I look at other options I might become indifferent to her and the relationship dies completely and I dont want that, she is a fun girl to be with. I know this is isnt an easy question but, how do i get that trust back?
 

Blackstaff

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desperado, focus on what YOU want, not to the girl or what she wants. Do u want sth serious with this girl ? Or do you just want to spend good time and have ur fun ? If it is the latter, you shouldnt put emotion on this matter like this. I see that you really like this girl, otherwise you wouldnt get jealous of the messages and her behaviour. But if you want a LTR and dont want each other to see others, then be direct and tell her that you dont want to handle things like you two do now.

Focus should be on yourself; it's not about losing or gaining back sth... Treat her like any other girl in your life, become less available and most important of all; just take it easy and she will do what she has to do ;)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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