"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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am I over her?

leeroyjenkins

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hey guys, I'd like your opinions and advice on something please!

there's this girl I've known for the last year and a half, we became best friends and I stopped seeing her as some girl I'd like to have sex with and fell in love (ouch). She has no idea I like her (actually doesn't, she's not just pretending for me) and basically we had a great relationship until last summer where we started falling out because she had a boyfriend and I got jealous.
I tried to cut contact at the time but I actually felt a lot of pain, so I did the easier thing and stuck with her, hoping I could cut contact down the line when we're seperated for a long period of time. Since then, our whole relationship has been screwed, I've loved and hated her at the same time and there are times when she can't deal with me...but...the other day we had a 2 hour argument and she said she didn't want to see me again, I put the phone down and I've ignored her texts/calls since...I've felt minimal pain and I think that may continue - am I over her? what do I need to do to get MORE over her? and is this therefore the best time to cut contact?

cheers guys
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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leeroyjenkins

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anyone? I need to know if I'm over her, 'cos then I can just start nailing other girls and send her a "really sorry but you were right, we should cut contact. you were good though! x" text
 

MacAvoy

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When you cut contact with a women, you don't tell her your cutting contact, you just do it. From what I'm gathering, if you have to ask us, your not a man and likely not over her.

You need to move on with your life, you don't need our permission to start nailing other women. You also don't need to send her any text messages validating that she was right or telling her she is good.
 

WC2

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As Macavoy said, you haven't exactly shown that you're a man so far and you are obviously not over her (and that's an understatement).

You have a common case of KNOWING what you need to do, but denying it to yourself. You KNOW you need to cut ties because it's better for you. However, you're making excuses to yourself as to why things could work out. Deep down you don't need us to tell you that this is not going to work out. You know that you've overreached and it's starting to screw with your well-being.

So tell me, is stressing out over this girl good for your well-being? You know the answer. Once you start looking out for yourself and putting your life in good hands, you will only then see clearly as to what's happening. Right now, your mind is still fogged because your self-esteem is low and you have no center of gravity.

It's tough to get over a girl, we all know that. But it has to be done. The sooner the better. Please, take my advice, as myself and countless others have gone through the same thing. It may take awhile to see the light, but just keep reminding yourself that at the end of that tunnel is manhood.
 

slowgold

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You're not over her or you wouldn't be crying about her still. It might take years before you get over her. And some guys never, ever get over a girl. It's like a terminal disease that's incurable.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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leeroyjenkins said:
...the other day we had a 2 hour argument and she said she didn't want to see me again, I put the phone down and I've ignored her texts/calls since...

Did she say she "NEVER wants to see you again?"

I have been told this recently and she seems to have meant it. But you say she called you after that... so what did she say exactly?
 
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