"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Am I friendzoned or is there a chance she might change her mind?

richdeniro

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Met a girl from Bumble and here's how it's gone dating wise:

Sat 29 Dec - went for a few afternoon drinks.
Sun 30 Dec - Went out for a meal and more drinks, ended up staying over at hers kissing most of the night, slept together but we didn't have sex.
Mon 31 Dec - As I woke up at hers we took her dog for a walk in the park and spent most of the day together.
Tues 1 Jan - She came over to mine and we ordered Chinese, she didn't stay over.
Sat 5 Jan- Went for drinks, ended up staying at hers and we slept together, this time had sex.
Sun 6 Jan - Went for a meal and to the cinema.
Fri 11 Jan - She came over to mine and I cooked her a meal, she didn't stay over.

Didn't hear from her for a couple of days so asked what was going on, her response was:
"Sorry, keep meaning to message back my aunt’s staying at the moment. I’m getting nothing done. I feel we really get on and connect well which is what I’ve also been having some time to mull over, but I do think it might be more of a friendship forming than a romantic connection on my part."

I texted back with the following:
No worries at all and I can imagine it’s busy, hope you’re having a nice time though. Thank you for being honest and to be honest on my part, I do really fancy you and like you quite a bit so don’t think I could be just friends which I hope you understand. If there is still a chance let me know.

Any chance she might reach back out or should I give up all hope?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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backseatjuan

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You did befriend a girl. Although we could use this situation to our advantage. Now don’t expect a woman to remain single for a moment. She is not at her aunts she is getting it on with another more sexual dude.

Look at it this way. How’s a boring date for you that goes like this. You met a girl, blah blah, she is friendly you had lousy sex she want a relationship.

Your dates should be like this.

Sun dec 29 met her for drinks took her home and fvckedher.

Hit her up on 2nd hooked up dinner and movie at my place i fvcked her.


Do this. Write to her, I thought we had something special, relationship and stuff, women wanting to take it slow, but whatever. And then no contact.

If and when she writes u back u ask here a question before u reply


P.s. what u had with her was not sex.
 
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Bullbearpig

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Stick to your guns. Don't expect her to come back but if she does great. Move on to other women. You got sex from her so there's that.
 

GrowingPains

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You showed your cards. Why tell her you're into her? I wouldve just invited her over for dinner at my place. If she came, and then she .. came... Then we're still good. If she denied, she isn't into me.

But now it seems too late. The ball is in her court based on what you said to her AND you showed your hand. Don't show your hand next time, unless youre really that good. Keep em guessing.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Tilex

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Just out of curiosity, what did you cook for her and how much food did she eat?
I'm guessing she must've gotten turned off by your cooking.
Either that or you're not kino'ing her enough while she's there.
Maybe you're not using kino properly.
I counted how many times you two had sex and matched it with how many times she came over.
You're not turning her on sexually and it's turning her off. That's why she keeps leaving.
Forget about "date" activities and trying to impress her. It's boring her.
When she's over at your place, you must always be physical.
A girl like that needs her panties soaked.
 
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R.U.G.

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OP, you only really messed up in one place... Here -
"No worries at all and I can imagine it’s busy, hope you’re having a nice time though. Thank you for being honest and to be honest on my part, I do really fancy you and like you quite a bit so don’t think I could be just friends which I hope you understand. If there is still a chance let me know."

This one is dead. A woman wants a man who has an abundance mindset, not a beggar who will wait around for her pvssy juice. In the future, all you say is okay, take care. Not looking for another friend. The one who is willing to walk away from a relationship has all the power. She wanted to downgrade you from a fvck friend or possibly something more in your mind to a platonic friend. So, in other words, she now gets your non-sexual attention, but you get zero in return. For some reason, women do not understand why a man wouldn't want this. Very simple. Men usually do not want to have female friends. They want females they can have sex with, not be friends with. You being downgraded into a platonic friend just does absolutely nothing for you.

Never show your cards. Oh, and read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. He has a chapter in his 1st book in regard to this situation.
 

Glassguy

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You spent WAY too much time with her. This showed her:

*you have no other options
*you invested in her way too quickly
*didnt smash her enough
*you were not a challenge
All these things mean a needy, clingy relationship chaser. You suffocated this woman and scared her off.

You should only see a chick once a week or two weeks for the first few months. The other nights should be spent on your purpose, with other women, hobbies, etc. If you dont have any of those- go get them.
 

Glassguy

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And you never stay at her place or allow her to stay at yours in the beginning (first month or two).

It reeks of a beta male.
 

SoSuave666

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You slept at her place and didn't have sex? Why? Even if I have sex with a new girl I almost always leave, unless we've been out drinking and it's like 2 or 3 in the morning. Also, spending all day with her so early is absolutely the sign of a "friend." Non-sexual attention should be withheld early on, not given freely. She has absolutely friendzoned you...maybe you guys can have drunk sloppy sex when she is feeling alone 2 or 3 months down the road...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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richdeniro

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You slept at her place and didn't have sex? Why? Even if I have sex with a new girl I almost always leave, unless we've been out drinking and it's like 2 or 3 in the morning. Also, spending all day with her so early is absolutely the sign of a "friend." Non-sexual attention should be withheld early on, not given freely. She has absolutely friendzoned you...maybe you guys can have drunk sloppy sex when she is feeling alone 2 or 3 months down the road...
She was on her period the first time I stayed over. We did everything but have sex.
 

jaymbrs

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And you never stay at her place or allow her to stay at yours in the beginning (first month or two).

It reeks of a beta male.
It depends. I've got one right now who has stayed over my place atleast 5 times in the month I've met her, ****ing her brains out every time at night and in the morning.
 

touma.akagi

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You're only in the friend zone if you let yourself be. So just withdraw for a bit and dangle the carrot
 

niceguytoalphamale

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OMG @richdeniro you screwed up big time!! Not only did you screw up on the first date you kept dating her continusly after that for days on end almost. I'll give you one thing you kissed her on the 2nd date. You should kissed her on the first and left it for a week before you set up another. Another big screw up was you messaging her and asking what's wrong? That put the nail in the coffin. As my brother always said.. "no girl is too busy to send you a message." I cant see her coming back after that as you pretty much f****d up big time. Time to delete that number and move on my little friend.
 

marmel75

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You spent way too much time together with her in the beginning and made yourself look desperate.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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