"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Am I falling in love?Help!

F

frank05

Don Juan
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Nov 23, 2004
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I've always been very successful with girls. In the past I have been dating many girls at once, with good success. The problem is that although I was pleased getting to know many girls and dating them, I have always felt a bit lonely with them. I kind of didn't feel too much connected to any of them.
Lately I've been dating another girl, and she's kind of different. I feel very connected to her, and she feels very connected to me.
It's not that I'm starting to act like an AFC. It's the contrary. She makes me try to improve myself every day and become more and more challenging and confident.
When I see her it's like a see a part of me that have always been missing and I suddenly feel complete and extremly happy.
I always tailor to different girls, but I've stopped dating them now because I find them boring and stupid.
I don't know exactly what is going on in my head. I think I'm falling in love or something like that and I don't know what to do.
I'm somewhat scared that I could get one-itis or get destroyed when our relationship breaks up.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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H

-HPNOTIQ-

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2003
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Seattle, WA
Guys are getting LOVE and INFATUATION mixed up.

Falling in love doesn't mean that you are an AFC. Its good that this woman makes you want to better yourself. That's what a good woman should make you feel. Loving a person is natural and should enjoyed and not feared.

However, the thin line of INFATUATION happens when you begin to obsess about her. Obsess about how great she is, how you pedistal her, how you can't picture yourself without her and how you would be crushed if she cheated on you. Yes, you've dated a ton of women...fine ones, short ones, gold diggers, idiots...yet, this current girlfriend is your pedistal.

If these are the feelings you have, then bro, you are truely not secure with yourself. It seems like you are stating the fact that you've dated tons of girls to validate yourself, ie, I'm confident because I've dated tons of women. If you are confident in yourself, then that confidence shouldn't make you worry if you guys break up.

You need to stop worrying about what may happen when you lose her..and start focusing on having fun and enjoying her company now.

Sure, you have a great thing now and don't want to go back dating stupid, golddigging type girls of the past (yea yea..I've been there MANY times myself :p ). But, you shouldn't be afraid to lose her. It may not seem like there are quality women out there..but there are..
 
D

DemonXIII

Don Juan
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Dec 11, 2004
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DAMN... This is kinda like the thing i got goin' on for me right now...
If you read my post in the HIGHSCHOOL forum...
I cant really give you any advice though... cause i'm takin' it ( lol)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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