Am i coming Off too strong on Dates?

[Georgepithyou]

So I have had two dates with girls I met off Hinge, both times the date seemed to go well and we made out. One girl back at her place and the other in her car but I didn't go all the way.

Both times the girls ghosted me after, did they want me to go all the way or did they regret it and feel like a sloot after? Idk what I'm doing wrong.

Should i do what AMS says and not kiss the girl at all?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Kissing after first date in covid, to me, says that there is more than just attraction going on, like there is definitely sexual energy for her to dismiss boundaries and enter cognitive dissonance with you in regards to covid.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

We are also in a housing crisis, look out for homeless chicks

 

[Georgepithyou]

Kissing after first date in covid, to me, says that there is more than just attraction going on, like there is definitely sexual energy for her to dismiss boundaries and enter cognitive dissonance with you in regards to covid.

We havent had cases for a while here in Australia, it's not as bad as America

 

[BackInTheGame78]

So I have had two dates with girls I met off Hinge, both times the date seemed to go well and we made out. One girl back at her place and the other in her car but I didn't go all the way.

Both times the girls ghosted me after, did they want me to go all the way or did they regret it and feel like a sloot after? Idk what I'm doing wrong.

Should i do what AMS says and not kiss the girl at all?

You are dealing with the same thing I had for a month or so and I even made a thread about it...

Not sure what it was, whether I was pressing too hard or what but things have turned around nicely the past month and a half or so...

Just try and maybe dial back the aggressiveness a little...that is what worked for me. I still kiss and make out at the end of the dates but I am more relaxed in date and I think that is helping me.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

So I have had two dates with girls I met off Hinge, both times the date seemed to go well and we made out. One girl back at her place and the other in her car but I didn't go all the way.

Both times the girls ghosted me after, did they want me to go all the way or did they regret it and feel like a sloot after? Idk what I'm doing wrong.

Should i do what AMS says and not kiss the girl at all?

Your first mistake is Dating in the first place. Your next mistake is not crushing asap. I assume it is over after we part. That being said, I approach with urgency and assume she is from the street, high body count, and its not like she's never seen one up close before. I act accordingly.

Obv no. Stop or **** off means disengage.

Quit backwards rationalising. #nextSet

Ghosting is a tell tale sign of low hanging fruit. Her SMV is not improving.

As for make outs, its a means to an end. I am not big on PDA be it a bar or club. In general, I have found it a waste to esculate hard in public and not go anywhere.

Esculate gradually. Setup more casual outings instead of dates. Do coffee or drinks. High interest level indicated on time and gradual testing of compliance. Bounce locations. Set pace. Lead. She follows.

Don't sweat it when you strike out or plates drop. Its part of the process. Stop backwards rationale and get more.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Just try and maybe dial back the aggressiveness a little ...that is what worked for me. I still kiss and make out at the end of the dates but I am more relaxed in date and I think that is helping me.

Its funny. In modern times, its usually guys needing to be a lot more aggressive. One of my mates was doing wwf wrestling movies on the open. Its super funny. He didn't understand why girls were freaking the **** out.

I find there's a sweet spot between slow playing and amateur hour. Aggressive and balls to the wall. Any extreme can be goofy and awkward. Changing gears smoothly is key. Obv easier said than done.

One chick during pandemic had me over to "play mario cart." the assumption is that its on. Still, at no stage did she show any indicators of interest or any choosing signals outside of my being there. I assume that i won't see her again and I always throw out the hail Mary going for it. In any event there's no wondering what if and it makes for a funny story.

Sometimes, they are just awkward as ****kkk or a bit weird. I had situations where a girl says something about "feeling.... [insert a word]!" its some connotation of nervous or anxious. The only thing that can suffice is esculation. Nothing else to do.

Strange how, esculation randomly or pumping the breaks when aggressive is so effective in being a amplifier of sexual tension.

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

They may have wanted to go all the way. I had a date that I took out to dinner one time and attempted to drop her back at her place afterward. She wouldn't leave my car, so I made the suggestion that "if you'd like, we can go back to my place and watch TV or whatever..." 30 min later I had her screaming in my bed, and we ended up dating for a few months. All that to say: there is nothing wrong with going all the way on the first night. It doesn't HAVE to lead to anything, and if you think about it that way it takes the pressure off of you and her for whatever actions you decide to take to have to mean something.

 

[Glassguy]

So I have had two dates with girls I met off Hinge, both times the date seemed to go well and we made out. One girl back at her place and the other in her car but I didn't go all the way.

Both times the girls ghosted me after, did they want me to go all the way or did they regret it and feel like a sloot after? Idk what I'm doing wrong.

Should i do what AMS says and not kiss the girl at all?

You've had 2 dates with making out, no sex and they ghosted you. What does that tell you?

Results are a reflection of action. I would say that if you escalated and they stopped you, that is one thing. If you were content in making out and stopped escalating, that is something totally different.

Which was it?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They may have wanted to go all the way. I had a date that I took out to dinner one time and attempted to drop her back at her place afterward. She wouldn't leave my car, so I made the suggestion that "if you'd like, we can go back to my place and watch TV or whatever..." 30 min later I had her screaming in my bed, and we ended up dating for a few months. All that to say: there is nothing wrong with going all the way on the first night. It doesn't HAVE to lead to anything, and if you think about it that way it takes the pressure off of you and her for whatever actions you decide to take to have to mean something.

That's possible too...maybe they are only interested is getting d1cked down and if you aren't delivering the goods they lose interest.

 

[backseatjuan]

So wtf do you after you make out? Ok that’s enought let’s go home. It’s like isolate and escalte and then pull back. Wirdo.

Do not make out in places you would not fck her. Car is a good place onthe back seat anal.

Isolate.

Escolate.

If it’s going this route. They fell too slutty afterthis. Ams is saying nosluttyness on firstdate but he is a commercial product he iswrong. Sex on first date isasht test. She gives shes a slut.

 

[Lookatu]

To me making out and kissing ain't $hit these days. It's just as common as a simple handshake with very little meaning. You gotta think in this way.

You can't expect to attract or close on every girl you meet. That's the simple cold hard reality. Some girls will like you and some won't. Even if they are curious and make out with you doesn't mean they will be interested in pursuing it any further. It's part of the grind and think of it in those terms.

It's ALWAYS safe to go more aggressive than not. If she likes you and thought you were too aggressive, she'll let it slide and still see you again. This is how it works. But if she was on the fence and wanted to get to know you more, to be able to make a more sound decision and cowards away or doesn't give you another chance because of your aggressiveness, her loss and you probably dodged a bullet anyways.

Just be yourself and don't try to sell her on what you think she might like in a guy and the right one will match up with you.

 

[bat soup]

So I have had two dates with girls I met off Hinge, both times the date seemed to go well and we made out. One girl back at her place and the other in her car but I didn't go all the way.

Both times the girls ghosted me after, did they want me to go all the way or did they regret it and feel like a sloot after? Idk what I'm doing wrong.

Should i do what AMS says and not kiss the girl at all?

Maybe you should have tried to go all the way. Otherwise women are going to think "he left me unsatisfied" and rationalize that they must not have found you attractive enough. AMS likes to play these games and maybe that works for him, but I think there's a high chance of that backfiring on you. It's better to go for it when you get the chance.

 

[Georgepithyou]

You've had 2 dates with making out, no sex and they ghosted you. What does that tell you?

Results are a reflection of action. I would say that if you escalated and they stopped you, that is one thing. If you were content in making out and stopped escalating, that is something totally different.

Which was it?

Honestly both times they stopped me from escalating further saying they didn't want "sex on the first date"

 

[Stoic]

One of my life rules is this...

When choosing between options, choose the bolder one.

 

[backseatjuan]

Honestly both times they stopped me from escalating further saying they didn't want "sex on the first date"

Cool! For me it is sht test passed. This said yes you should kiss on first date. Firstly guage where is attraction secondly sht test. Now, just because she says she don’t want sex on fist date, don’t listen to what she says watch her actions. Yes I rather not have sex on first date myself, you seem interesting, let’s go to a park, beach, shore of river lake, viewing spot, neutral location but isolated. Then you escalate more.

Now since you are not doing anything wrong. Problem must be when you call them or not call them, message and what you say. So when and what?

 

[Lookatu]

Honestly both times they stopped me from escalating further saying they didn't want "sex on the first date"

And that's totally fine. You have to determine from the first part of meeting them if you want to slot them into plate, plate with potential, potential relationship categories. Those will determine your course of action and level of calibration and IDGAF attitude.
If plate only, then I would go on full aggressive and try to get the lay. Otherwise, I usually find just kissing them and waiting it out until the 2nd or 3rd date to tone down their defenses to work better. This way, they have slept on it and know for sure if they wanna see you again.
EVERY gal wonders on the first meetup if the guy only wants to use them for sex. You don't want to give her that idea by being like most other guys.

I just recently met up with this gal. Here's my field report:
1st date - I try to go in for the kiss after holding her hand walking around. She pulls back and tells me she's visiting her brother and his family the next day and is concerned on getting and giving Covid. I just agree and amplify and give her a kiss on her forehead. Whatever, it's no big deal because I know I made her feel good regardless.

2nd date - We go to get something to eat and walk to the harbor. We hold hands and ask her if she visited her brother yet and she tells me she has. Then I go in and kiss her and tell her that I had to make up for last time. After our walk, we end up in front of her place. She tells me if she invites me in, we're not having sex. I said cool, no big deal and tell her I don't usually put out until the 10th date. She looks at me trying to figure out if I'm kidding or not. Then she says that's way too long and volunteers info saying 3-4 dates seems more normal. We watch tv and start making out. I get her half naked and finger her and svck on her tits. She says she doesn't want to do anymore after that. I was ok with that because I still sensed there was forward movement. She tells me she wants to wait for the 3rd date(societal programming) and invites me to her place this Friday.

Point is you don't always have to go 0-60 right away. As long as she's having fun, you're having fun and you sense there is forward progress, be cool and don't reek of any desperation and things will eventually come around.

I used to always wanna get laid on the first date but lately, I found 2nd dates or more works better, especially if you want to keep seeing her and possibly build something. My $.02

 

[Dash Riprock]

Some guys dance around and play mind games, but for other guys, being a man that's not afraid to come on strong can be a real turn-on for women. Does LeBron or did MJ dibble around and let other people take the important shot? Not too often. MOST of the time, they took the ball by 3-4 guys and drove hard to the hoop.

A confident strong man, which women crave (and are in pathetically short supply), win more often than not.

Good luck.

~Dash~