"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Am i an orbiter? Help for date this week

joker79

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guys, help, my target confuses me and I need to sort it out definitely, I think i can be an orbiter. Ok mixed message are no good but this girl behaves strangely (or probably I can't get it): it's usually like that:

0) she likes me for sure, we've been knowing each oother for 6 months now, already had sex
1) She never initiate contact (sometimes girls do not initiate contact anyway)
2) I initiate contact nicely teasing her, get results (date but no sex only kisses and hugs)
3) I want to go further (sex)
4) she starts to slow down (not ready for relationship BS)
5) I go NC and we don't speak for 2 weeks
6) restart form point 1

Currently i'm making myself more scarce and trying to act aloof and spin more plates. I tried once to confront her on point 4, was a bad move that almost screwed up everything.
Now I see the effect of some work i did on myself and I'm not initiating anything either, feel more powerful and alpha. Of course this lead to a situation in which I don't initiate, she doesn't and everything is f**** up. the funny thing is that i can touch her anytime, slap her on the a$$ and she's ok... I succeded anyway in arranging a date/drinks next week, she accepted (i need to confirm anyway). What's your opinion on next steps?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Blistex

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You have known each other for six months and have only had sex once or am I misunderstanding something? If it's been six months and you have not sealed the deal with her then yes, you probably are an orbiter for her. The fact that you are thinking you might be an orbiter and that you are getting "confusing" messages from her indicates to me that there is probably nothing serious between you and her. You also tried to progress with her and she has not allowed for that.

I think the bottom line is the excuse she gave: "not ready for a relationship" = does not want a relationship with you.
 

Purefilth

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Yes you are an orbiter.

She has ZERO interest in you svxually. Move the fvck on already.
 

VladPatton

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Yes, you're an orbiter, and you have a case of oneitis as well. She pretty much has the role YOU are supposed to have:

-You are constantly trying to be around her
-She's indifferent to you
-She's stringing you along
-She determines where the relationship is going
-She's in control
-You're constantly trying to win her over

You should be the one doing all these things, this is a complete reversal of roles.

Next her. And I mean NEXT her big time.
 

joker79

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next then? I think it's like a battle, she's like "i'm interested but wanna keep things slow". getting angry doesn't help and Vlad is right, role reversal. Any way to reverse the reversed role? or is it just not worth it?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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VladPatton

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Sometimes it's just not "there" and there is no click, man. Hey, at least you tried. Find a chick that's into you.
 

MikeOck

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joker79 said:
Any way to reverse the reversed role?
Stop initiating contact.
Act like you don't care either way.
Find other women with higher interest level.

If she contacts you, play it off like you've been busy, as if you hadn't even thought of her. Better yet, actually become busy. Do not act like you had some plan for not contacting her, or as if you are angry with her. Your interactions should be playful, fun, and free of pressure.

If she doesn't contact you, just let her go.

Either way, you should be seeking out new women. This one seems to have a low interest level.
 

joker79

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MikeOck said:
Your interactions should be playful, fun, and free of pressure.
That's my current approach, did anyone get some result with it? No pressure and see where it goes. I need to find other women to relieve the oneitis i have for sure.
 
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