"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Am i an orbiter? Help for date this week

joker79

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guys, help, my target confuses me and I need to sort it out definitely, I think i can be an orbiter. Ok mixed message are no good but this girl behaves strangely (or probably I can't get it): it's usually like that:

0) she likes me for sure, we've been knowing each oother for 6 months now, already had sex
1) She never initiate contact (sometimes girls do not initiate contact anyway)
2) I initiate contact nicely teasing her, get results (date but no sex only kisses and hugs)
3) I want to go further (sex)
4) she starts to slow down (not ready for relationship BS)
5) I go NC and we don't speak for 2 weeks
6) restart form point 1

Currently i'm making myself more scarce and trying to act aloof and spin more plates. I tried once to confront her on point 4, was a bad move that almost screwed up everything.
Now I see the effect of some work i did on myself and I'm not initiating anything either, feel more powerful and alpha. Of course this lead to a situation in which I don't initiate, she doesn't and everything is f**** up. the funny thing is that i can touch her anytime, slap her on the a$$ and she's ok... I succeded anyway in arranging a date/drinks next week, she accepted (i need to confirm anyway). What's your opinion on next steps?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Blistex

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You have known each other for six months and have only had sex once or am I misunderstanding something? If it's been six months and you have not sealed the deal with her then yes, you probably are an orbiter for her. The fact that you are thinking you might be an orbiter and that you are getting "confusing" messages from her indicates to me that there is probably nothing serious between you and her. You also tried to progress with her and she has not allowed for that.

I think the bottom line is the excuse she gave: "not ready for a relationship" = does not want a relationship with you.
 

Purefilth

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Yes you are an orbiter.

She has ZERO interest in you svxually. Move the fvck on already.
 

VladPatton

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Yes, you're an orbiter, and you have a case of oneitis as well. She pretty much has the role YOU are supposed to have:

-You are constantly trying to be around her
-She's indifferent to you
-She's stringing you along
-She determines where the relationship is going
-She's in control
-You're constantly trying to win her over

You should be the one doing all these things, this is a complete reversal of roles.

Next her. And I mean NEXT her big time.
 

joker79

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next then? I think it's like a battle, she's like "i'm interested but wanna keep things slow". getting angry doesn't help and Vlad is right, role reversal. Any way to reverse the reversed role? or is it just not worth it?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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VladPatton

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Sometimes it's just not "there" and there is no click, man. Hey, at least you tried. Find a chick that's into you.
 

MikeOck

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joker79 said:
Any way to reverse the reversed role?
Stop initiating contact.
Act like you don't care either way.
Find other women with higher interest level.

If she contacts you, play it off like you've been busy, as if you hadn't even thought of her. Better yet, actually become busy. Do not act like you had some plan for not contacting her, or as if you are angry with her. Your interactions should be playful, fun, and free of pressure.

If she doesn't contact you, just let her go.

Either way, you should be seeking out new women. This one seems to have a low interest level.
 

joker79

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MikeOck said:
Your interactions should be playful, fun, and free of pressure.
That's my current approach, did anyone get some result with it? No pressure and see where it goes. I need to find other women to relieve the oneitis i have for sure.
 
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