"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Am I acting too emotional ?

reza

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I am having a hard time distinguishing emotional and reasonable response in this situation .
I have gone out on 2 dates with this girl and I would say her interest level in me was good . On the third date she was supposed to come to my home (but because I was doing some stuff the last night , I felt sleep until about 4 pm ) . Then called her about 5 pm , she was upset and wanted to play her drama , so I tolled her “ I am sorry for today but if you cant get over it I would say give me call whenever you think you can “ she said “ no its ok , do you want to go out tomorrow ? “ I said “ ya sure “ and then she is not sure about her plans for tomorrow so she is going to give me a call then about 12 pm. She gave me a text massage saying that she has to take care of her cousin tomorrow and that she cant come , so I text her back saying “well I don’t buy that , I wished I could see you tomorrow , give me a call when you want to “ . So she calls me again the next day which was today and tells me that she wasn’t lying and that lets go out tomorrow . and again she said she is not sure about her plan tomorrow and I said maybe we can go out some other time but she insisted on going out so I said fine . But then again she gave me massage about 11 pm saying that “ I have be home tomorrow about 2 pm and I will be out tonight till 5 am “ I want to text her back and say “ well I don’t think I can go out with you tomorrow or any time soon , take care , bye “
am I acting emotional ?
I would appreciate any comment on this matter .
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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realsmoothie

Master Don Juan
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How old is this girl?

Yes, you did overreact when you basically said that she was lying to you. She may have been, but pointing it out like that makes you sound like a whiny kid.

I'd just drop contact if I were you. If she's really interested she'll get back to you.

And stop texting!
 

Phyzzle

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Yeah, I'd say it doesn't matter if you text or not. You already stood her up once, so I think she knows she's a low priority. If you text to say "you're a low priority", you'll just sound stupid.

Just drop contact, it sounds like no interest.
 

reza

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she is 20

Well I am not exactly planning to get ride of her what I want is to get back where we left off ( I kinda like her ) .
 

Phyzzle

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(I mean it sounds like no interest on her part. Not anymore.)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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joekerr31

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you played it perfectly at first. you cut her off from diving in to all the drama, and when you did she came around.

you made a BIG mistake though and reverted back to reacting emotionally by basically calling her a liar.

you should have just said "ok, no problem." and left it at that. you should have no given her the opportunity to see you for at least a week.

reason dictates that if she makes a date with you then breaks it, and if you think she's doing this as a sh*t test, that you not reward her for that.

anyway, with the situation you are in right now i'd give her one more chance, but three strikes and shes out. if she cancels again just stop talking to her and walk away.

you aren't dealing with a high quality woman here. and you are far from mastering reason - so all in all this is probably going to end like most relationships.

that said, you can always use her as a practice dummy.
 

Aaron B

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You are way too available.

You are working your schedule around her. She should be arranging her schedule around YOU.

Her pretending to be busy all the time has put you in chase mode. Never chase a woman. Ever.

Don't call her for a few days, and be busy for awhile.

In short, blow her off like she has been blowing you off. Fight fire with fire, it will most likely work like a charm. In my experience, women often treat men like they would like to be treated. If she's playing hard-to-get, she probably wants YOU to play hard-to-get.

If you had other women in your life, this likely would not have happened.
 

drmeathead

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dude igonre her till she gets back to you. when she does have a definite plan to take her somewhere. none of this maybe **** or this tomorrow stuff. hell thats rude. make a date for 5 days away and not a weekend date. stick to it. if she cant make it erase her number.
 

azanon

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reza said:
am I acting emotional ?
I would appreciate any comment on this matter .
Yes. You seem way too concerned with what this girl is doing and when she's doing it. You need to treat her and deal with her as if its just an aside for you; .... but one of many things that you're dealing with in your day.

To sell that you're not concerned one way or the other, it has to actually be true. Otherwise, she'll see right through you and use her newfound power.
 

reza

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She called me today and said that she was sorry . I don’t know what the hell is wrong with this girl , I mean if she is not interested why would she call , any way I was totally cool and she was actually expecting me to be mad . I tolled her “ I don’t think we have anything in common are u sure u want to continue this ? “ she became sad and it was easy to see that she doesn’t want to end it . Then suddenly out of no where I said something totally stupid . I said “ if you really want to continue this , be in this location which I tell you in 2 hours “ she was like oh I have plans and stuff and I said well its your choice ( sometimes I cant backdown when I say something) . But then she agreed and changed her plan , and she actually CAME . Well it went ok and we made out a little bit at the end .
Some times the things I say are so unpredictable , that it even surprises me .
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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