"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Always in fvcking hurry!!!

ntssv

Don Juan
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It doesn't matter what the fvck I'm doing except fvcking. Don't know why this is. It's not like I'm late all the time. Even when I'm going to early, I drive as fast I can and get pissed at people in my way. Same thing when I go to get a drink of water at work. I rush to the kitchen fill my bottle and rush back to my desk just to sit there and enjoy my water. The only place I don't look like a fvcking jack rabbit is at the book store.

I try to take it easy and only when I focus can I do this.

Anyone else do this sh!t?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Vulpine

Master Don Juan
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I used to be like that when I lived in California. I think it's something in the water, like amphetamines, but it's all about hypertension out there. Then, when I moved back to Wisconsin it was like *Ahhhhh.....* I can take a nap when I'm driving or anything else really. I still get pissed off at idiots holding up the show though... and say "dude" a lot.
 

GirlCrazy

Master Don Juan
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Vulpine said:
I used to be like that when I lived in California. I think it's something in the water, like amphetamines, but it's all about hypertension out there. Then, when I moved back to Wisconsin it was like *Ahhhhh.....* I can take a nap when I'm driving or anything else really. I still get pissed off at idiots holding up the show though... and say "dude" a lot.
Same here. Almost 40 years in Orange County. Was always in a hurry and always pissed at something. I'd walk out of doctor's offices, grocery stores - anybody that kept me waiting too long. I got to the point where I couldn't handle sitting on the freeway 3 hours a day not moving. 90 minutes each way to go 12 miles - it just sucked.

Now I live in a rural area of Spokane, WA, and all the stress, road rage, and being in a hurry is gone. My job is still down in OC, but I only go there for a week once every couple months.

It's a whole different world here in Spokane. People wave to strangers, talk to each other in grocery stores, ask about your kids, etc. My first winter here, some lady was stuck in the snow and 4 people pulled over to help her. It's still a little weird that everywhere I go, people start with "Hi, Mark...", but I'm getting used to it.

Problem solved for me. I tell people that I'm just a visitor to the rat race now, and I'm not going back, ever.

Oh, and unlike parts of the south and midwest, nobody looks at me funny here for saying "dude" a lot.
 

ntssv

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Maybe this is in my genes since I'm from LA. It's been along time since I was there but... you never know what we pick up from our parents.
 

SELF-MASTERY

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I threw my veggies at the self-checkout machine because it wouldn't work.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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