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Always having to initiate with people at work

The LadyKiller

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I don't know which forum this fits best in, but assume work is akin to wealth and success. I'll keep this one fairly brief. I work in close quarters with many of my coworkers, and we all have varied schedules, which includes working weekends. We all seem to get along in the office, but I've come to a realization:
- When I initiate going out with coworkers who are off the same day, people show up and we all have a good time. When it's my turn to organize the food order at work, everyone is included.
*****However*****
When I am not the one initiating going out with coworkers who are off the same day, the other coworkers still go out and do not invite me. When it's someone else's turn to organize the food order at work, I am not asked more often than not.

How do I best handle this sort of thing? Because we work many hours together, I am all for good camaraderie, and I feel I generally get along pretty well with my peers. But at the same time, I feel initiating everything is a waste of my energy. Whenever I don't get the ball rolling, the ball never reaches me.
 
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Julian

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You can tell when someone doesnt like you. When you are left out of plans, I would find out who organized that specifically. Do this over the course of a few weeks and maybe you can pin down who is responsible. Idk man i never had this problem because ive always been the boss at all of my jobs
 

kasper

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I think that's because your values might be different from that of your coworkers. You might be a highly ambitious person compared to your peers. Or you might be a better performer than your colleagues, etc,. Or you're straight forward in the way you deal.
In my opinion, you shouldn't be bothered about this at all. If you have a goal in your life and are making progress towards that, you will not be bothered by such things ever.

For ex: Your colleagues have not invited you for the outing and during that time if you're working towards your goals, you'll be happy that your peers haven't invited you and you're having the time to work on your goals. It's all about your mindset man. And know that after some time, when you succeed; they'll be the ones that come to YOU.

For now, don't initiate the outing ever again until you're invited. And try meeting new people and getting some new friends.
 

TyTe`EyEz

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Are you the only one not being invited? It could just be that a few of your co-workers are really close.

Do you enjoy hanging out with them, or do you just set up get togethers because it's convenient? If you genuinely enjoy their company, don't be afraid to take charge and arrange the hang outs. If you just arrange the meetings for work's sake, fvck 'em; they can have each other.

I've never been one to hang out with co-workers. I like to keep business and pleasure separate, for the most part. I've been out drinking with co-workers in the past and offended them with offhand remarks. Fvcking people with delicate sensibilities everywhere, I swear....
 

The LadyKiller

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Appreciate the advice. My frustration in these cases stems mostly from the fact that I always have to get the ball rolling. As if they're above doing any of the work. When I invite them out, they accept! When I sit back and do nothing, either everyone else stays in or some of them go out amongst themselves. You're right that it's not a major travesty. Would simply like them to get things started one time.
 

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