"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ALWAYS get tripped up...can't this time

sandman6991

Senior Don Juan
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I don't understand it...it's like something happens every time I start to do well with a woman. It feels like there's some force field in the universe that is preventing me from having a girlfriend. I know that's not the case, but, every time, I either mess up, do something stupid, or lose their interest just before it can get to a dating point. It's been going on for too long, and I really do not want it to happen with this girl. She is (and I'm not just saying this) one of the prettiest girls that I have ever talked to, and I would really, really like to make something happen with this girl. Like I expected, there is always an obstacle though. I started talking to her on Myspace a little over a week ago, and it went really well actually, until she didn't reply a couple of times. Although I haven't had the best of luck, the last thing I do is quit when things don't go my way. I sent her this message:

"as much as i enjoyed our chat about shoes and sarcasm...it's gone dead.

which is proof of my theory..it's no fun to talk over myspace...i prefer something more...instant...you have AIM?"

And...to my great pleasure, she replied!

"I do. *Insert screen name*. But, I'm rarely on. And, if I am on, I don't talk a lot. But, if you happen to IM me, I may make an exception."

That was Thursday night. And, she wasn't lying. I haven't seen her on since then, and believe me, I've been looking. There are two things I need your help on.

1. What should I do now? Do I wait for her to get on AIM, or do I send her another message?

2. When I do start talking with her again, what steps should I take to get her on a date?

I know this seems really basic and stupid...but apparently I do not know what to do once I get in these situations, and I don't want to fail again. If it helps any, she goes to a different HS, but we're pretty close...close enough to date.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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sandman6991

Senior Don Juan
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Messages
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So, you think I should just drop it if she doesn't get on AIM?

I'm pretty persistant, but I was thinking of sending her another message (I'm not sure what I'd say) and trying to get her number...but I'm better on AIM than through messages.
 
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