Alright, time to be completely honest with myself

[bigdave17]

I don't succeed with hot women because I can't make myself believe that I deserve them


There's no other explanation for why I can easily make friends with top tier people (good looking, successful, intelligent) and I can't get a girlfriend of the same caliber. The reason is I totally believe that I deserve the best friends and I act congruent to that. I don't believe I deserve a hot GF so I act congruent to that and women smell it instantly. Today I was making friends with exactly what I want in a girlfriend - a good looking, young, smart, successful, jacked middle eastern dude in awesome shape. If the male version of that wants to be best friends with me, then the female version of that will want to date me if I'm being the best version of myself... which means I clearly am not.


Okay, now that i know that, what's the next step? How do I make myself stop believing that women are so difficult?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't succeed with hot women because I can't make myself believe that I deserve them


There's no other explanation for why I can easily make friends with top tier people (good looking, successful, intelligent) and I can't get a girlfriend of the same caliber. The reason is I totally believe that I deserve the best friends and I act congruent to that. I don't believe I deserve a hot GF so I act congruent to that and women smell it instantly


Okay, now that i know that, what's the next step? How do I make myself stop believing that women are so difficult?

re-read your threads, the answers are there.

 

[R.U.G.]

Need to work on yourself brother. You need to infuse in yourself that you are worth women and they should be only so lucky to be in your presence. You should also see a therapist. You are way too young to think like this.

 

[bigdave17]

re-read your threads, the answers are there.

having sex with mediocre women does nothing to help my psyche or confidence

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Need to work on yourself brother. You need to infuse in yourself that you are worth women and they should be only so lucky to be in your presence. You should also see a therapist. You are way too young to think like this.

He needs to start ****ing. To feel entitled to sex. He's currently a beta friend to these women who are "hot".

 

[bigdave17]

Need to work on yourself brother. You need to infuse in yourself that you are worth women and they should be only so lucky to be in your presence. You should also see a therapist. You are way too young to think like this.

I have some really toxic thinking patterns

I've convinced myself that women only want a man who is insanely perfect and I'm crazy harsh on myself

I don't appreciate my good traits in myself in terms of being a good person as it relates to women because I've convinced myself that women are an impossible to understand alien species.

I convinced myself a long long time ago that dating was impossible and that I would never have a girlfriend. I think this is because as a kid, I was teased and mocked for my lack of dating life (I was fat in high school) and I just internalized it so hard and I can't get it out of my head

 

[R.U.G.]

I have some really toxic thinking patterns

I've convinced myself that women only want a man who is insanely perfect and I'm crazy harsh on myself

I don't appreciate my good traits in myself in terms of being a good person as it relates to women because I've convinced myself that women are an impossible to understand alien species.

I convinced myself a long long time ago that dating was impossible and that I would never have a girlfriend. I think this is because as a kid, I was teased and mocked for my lack of dating life (I was fat in high school) and I just internalized it so hard and I can't get it out of my head

You mind is your own worst enemy. You need to stop giving a crap what others may think about you. However, you should see a therapist to help work you through your thinking process. You are young, so this can be corrected. If not, you will start to get really resentful of women. TBH, it's not entirely their fault. They have pop culture's icons such as Kim Kardashian, those real house hoars, Megan Trailor, Lea Dunham, etc. all telling them to treat men like crap and they are superior.

Just work on yourself. It will take time and get a rubber band and wear it on your wrist. Why? Simple. When you start thinking these nasty thoughts, you pull the rubber band. Thus, helping you stop thinking negatively about yourself. It works.

 

[R.U.G.]

He needs to start ****ing. To feel entitled to sex. He's currently a beta friend to these women who are "hot".

It's not as easy as you think. Most men who are still in the process of working on themselves can fvck a hippo. Yea, any man can have sex with an overweight hog beast, but most cannot push themselves to do it. It may feel the same inside, but I'd never be able to get it up. Most men want at least average looking women and higher. Problem is, even average looking women can have this better than thou attitude. Someone with a low self-esteem wouldn't be able to take that much rejection. It's tough out there for most.

 

[Dingo]

Something I always wonder about Threads like this... This not just directed to the OP.

Why do you believe you deserve hot women ?

Why would a hot woman even want to be with you ?

Some people are destined to lead mediocre lives with mediocre partners. Not everybody gets the 9/10's. The faster many here realize that the happier they will be.

 

[17 shots]

Today I was making friends with exactly what I want in a girlfriend - a good looking, young, smart, successful, jacked middle eastern dude in awesome shape. If the male version of that wants to be best friends with me, then the female version of that will want to date me if I'm being the best version of myself... which means I clearly am not.

Why don't you just date guys... you're always checking them out anyways

 

[MrWood]

what I want in a girlfriend - a good looking, young, smart, successful, jacked middle eastern dude in awesome shape

threw up a little in my mouth when I read this..

 

[bigdave17]

Something I always wonder about Threads like this... This not just directed to the OP.

Why do you believe you deserve hot women ?

Why would a hot woman even want to be with you ?

Some people are destined to lead mediocre lives with mediocre partners. Not everybody gets the 9/10's. The faster many here realize that the happier they will be.

What do you mean? Why wouldn't a guy like myself have a hot gF?

 

[RedScorpion]

What do you mean? Why wouldn't a guy like myself have a hot gF?

Not sure. You should be rolling in hot girls just dying for you.

 

[Dingo]

What do you mean? Why wouldn't a guy like myself have a hot gF?

I know you want to have a hot girlfriend but but what makes you think you are so deserving?... Why should they want you ?

Think deep... Again... this is not just for you....

 

[bigdave17]

Not sure. You should be rolling in hot girls just dying for you.

IMO whatever quality tier you can make friends with should be about the same quality women you have interested in you

 

[bigdave17]

I know you want to have a hot girlfriend but but what makes you think you are so deserving?... Why should they want you ?

Think deep... Again... this is not just for you....

hhhmmm I'm very strong in all areas - looks, money and genuinely being a very good loving, honest, loyal person


few men are any good in any of those 3 areas, much less all 3

 

[Dingo]

hhhmmm I'm very strong in all areas - looks, money and genuinely being a very good loving, honest, loyal person


few men are any good in any of those 3 areas, much less all 3

But yet you're not getting them... Why ?.... Why do you think that is ?

 

[bigdave17]

But yet you're not getting them... Why ?.... Why do you think that is ?

did you read the OP?

 

[Dingo]

I got that "I don't deserve them"....

I'm just looking at the why ?.... What about you do they "smell" ?

Not bashing or making fun.

 

[RedScorpion]

Honestly I’d recommend therapy or doing some kind of psychological conditioning on yourself. Read back on all the threads you’ve made - they all have this never ending central theme around this issue. It’s circular thinking and rumination.

You need to shift gears and recognize that there’s a bigger issue underlying here than getting a girlfriend. What happens if you get ‘the perfect girlfriend’ - and then lose her (like we all most likely do)? Will you be able to carry on?

Which is better - being employable, or being employed?

I recommend spending an hour or two and reading back through all the threads and posts you’ve made, and pretend someone else made them. See what kind of thought process pops up. I’m sure you’ll recognize something to consider.

I’d post more of your threads but one will be enough.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...y-progress-in-dating-very-frustrating.248443/