Alright guys.. I need your imput on this one. I'm torn

[Serialized3]

I put it in quotations because "horse racing industry" just sounds silly. Like there's some factory out there making horses out of bolts or some sh!t.

I'm not judging how you make your money, I'm glad for you. Chill.

 

[backbreaker]

it's because it is different than what most people understand.

take the time to read this

http://www.lib.niu.edu/ipo/1995/ii950618.html

it's so bad that there are non profit organizations (Which I am apart of) to help these people have better living conditions.

it's not a situation i want to reput a girl I actually like back in.

imagine sleeping.. with horses and rats and mice and bugs. pretty much everyone that works on the backstretch besides the trainer, who is usually quite wealthy if he is successful or at least well to do, lives there or something like it. including hot young vulnerable women.

you hit a nerve with that one. don't ever insult my job or horse racing like that again

 

[Microphone Fiend]

In the words of Rollo Tommassi:

Spin More Plates

You like this chick because your other two plates have (or are) proved their unworthyness and she has not. That does not mean you give girl A all your attention, it means you find more worthy chicks. Why settle for one worthy chick when you can find more than one worthy chick? It will take time, but dont take yourself off of the market, just up the quality of goods you decide to invest (your time) in.

 

[backbreaker]

guys.. I mean really. do you even bother to read posts?

Me finding plates is as easy as picking up my phone. I have a waiting list of plates (not to be bashful or brass, but hey).

I'm the same guy who prefers to be alone more times than not anyway. finding or spinning plates is not the problem, espically when you wont find a bigger proponent of it on this broad than me. My advice to 80% of posts are to spin more plates, and it's the truth. if guys spent more plates, they wouldn't be in the problems they are in now.

She is actually making me NOT want to spin more plates.... however spinning plates is not just dating other women, tis' keeping other women in the wings to possibly date, or at least knowing that you can go get a woman if she fvcks up and better yet, HER KNOWING it. which she does.

i hate to be rude, but I mean guys if you pay this much attention to your love life and make sweeping generalizations about everything such as this......

 

[Serialized3]

you hit a nerve with that one. don't ever insult my job or horse racing like that again

Pffft, you can't tell me what to say, so I suggest you stop being such a sensitive little girl about it don't get your feelings hurt over one little (misinterpreted) comment.

 

[Serialized3]

Also, if their jobs are so damn horrible, why don't they quit. I heard burger king is hiring.

Idiots.

 

[DJDamage]

I'm going to end up helping her pay rent. it's the lesser of the two evils the way I see it. that way if anything happens, I can go my way and be done with it, and I can still fvck other women.

Help paying her rent and giving her a few hundreds a month is worse then her moving in with you.

It will totally change the dynamics of your relationship. Now it becomes a pimp and a hoe relationship ("I will give you money to help you out until you get back on your feet but you still need to satisfy me sexually and don't piss me off otherwise we are done and so is this deal"). If she gets tired of you then do you think she will be front about it? no because she needs the money.

She doesn't have a family or close female friends that can help her out?? why didn't she prepare to find another roomate in advance?? why in the age of 30 she is still struggling to get on her feet?? maybe instead of giving her money, you use your street smarts to help her find a better job and a new room-mate or a decent apartment. I am sure you have connections so use them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

humm... I like it. find her a roomate. there's a reason I still come here. trust me I don't WANT to pay her bills... but I'd rather be labled a sugar daddy than see what I think will happen, happen. I have the ability to see 3-4 steps down a relationship... I can see a clusterfvck if she doesn't get a roomate. she's not moving in.. I've established that.. at least no time this year.

you have to understand the situtation. If she has to go back to living on the backstretch (which in laymens' sterms means living in the stalls at the horse track), they will make her do night watch at night, meaning she pretty much won't have a life and which will also mean that she can't come see me. **** she just moved out of there 6 months ago. It's not a bad place.. well yes it is, but it's worht it to be aorund something you love free room and board. the money isn't great but even now, as successful as I have been... I'd think about it. I love horses that much. she does too. so I don't knock her for that.

I just see the reazliation that if she doesn't get a roomate, our sex life is fvcked one way or another. she 1) goes back there 2) moves with me, ruining my sexl ife.. even though I like her.. that's a huge step I'm not ready to make or 3) she gets evicted and gets pissed, then moves back in the backstretch.

in that case..again the less of the evils.. I'm not into labels, I'm into thinking things out. I'd rather help her pay some bills.. If I have to give her a couple hundred a month to keep my ease of mind and to keep her around, and to keep my social life as is, so the fvck be it. Id' rather do that, then have her move back then I can't see her AT ALL because I tried to "be a man" and not help.. because i know she isn't going to ask me for anything. and if it doesn't workout.. fvck it. i can just stop and move on and she can do whatever she wants.

I've been in a similar predicament and like Obsidian's suggestion, I helped her solve her own problem; I wasn't her solution. Besides, it will work well for you if she continues to prove her value, you can let her spend the weekend at your place once in a while. Of course she'd have to provide the food and the entertainment but fair is fair, right?

 

[backbreaker]

because she loves her job. I didn't go though what I went though in life chasing what I love doing only to tell her to stop. Her dream was to be around horses, and that's what she does.
hopefully she can find another roommate, but the thing about is she can't sign a lease because she moves every 2-3 months (the tracks rotate from Santa Anita, to Del Mar, to Hollywood park) The actual 'apartment' she stays in ins't a real apartment, it's a dorm sorta setup by Hollywood park that they own that they rent out. just anyone off the street can't stay there. plus find an apartment in Hollywood that you can rent for 500 bucks a month

I have something else that is a small positibily that I could do, but I wouldn't trust her with that yet. it would take care of a need for both of us (not sexual) but I'll wait until she shows me a little more than she knows how to go up and down on the back of a horse before It rust her with horses.

oh, if we were in little rock, it'd be a done deal. my mom owns apartments in little rock. I'd force her to house her for reduced pay and hope my mom says something about it.

She's originally from Michigan, so no family. I mean, I'm not jumping to anything. I'm not trying to be her pimp. I'm going to wait.. but I can see it unfolding in front of me as we speak.

it's an extremely unique situtaiton, I get that. I'm going to hold out (i have I think until the end of next week) before I make a decision. even though I can afford it, again that's beer money or something I could be using.

 

[backbreaker]

if she continues to prove her value, you can let her spend the weekend at your place once in a while. Of course she'd have to provide the food and the entertainment but fair is fair, right?

oh, she's not moving in. I don't give a damn. I like her but that's a steel curtian drawn down my door. no sir.

she's been resorceful in the past.. let me see what she will come up with.

I'm about to buy some horses for my stable I'm about to start. I was considering bringing her own as a trainer or an assistant trainer.. it would take care of two needs. I would have a trainer who I knows loves horses, and she would have a stable income. however, even though she knows her **** when it comes to horses, spotting them in the right races (which I could do better than most trainers) spotting injuries, knowing supplements, getting a horse to peak at the right time, all that stuff... I have my short list of trainers I'm interested in.. she needs a little more experience.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

oh, she's not moving in. I don't give a damn. I like her but that's a steel curtian drawn down my door. no sir.

No-no-no-no-no-no... I was just suggesting that if she stays in your good graces you would allow her to sleep over on a weekend, nothing more. Like the saying goes, "You don't have to go home but you've got to get the hell out of here!"

she's been resorceful in the past.. let me see what she will come up with.

Excellent call.

I'm about to buy some horses for my stable I'm about to start. I was considering bringing her own as a trainer or an assistant trainer.. it would take care of two needs. I would have a trainer who I knows loves horses, and she would have a stable income.

I'd hold off until she gets herself stable. You giving her a job kinda defeats the purpose of her getting back on her feet herself.

 

[backbreaker]

frankly I don't know if she would make a good trainer, and the amount of money I am about to invest, I'm too smart of a business person to give to someone because they have good *****. however one of the trainers I am considering happens to be an attractive female trainer who is like 3 months older than me. I haven't met her personaly yet, but she had a horse in the derby 3 years ago and she is very successful out here. She's in the running.. no decisions yet. The guy I REALLY want is old.. VERY old (I like old school trainers).

again.. I like her because she is independant and resourceful. I'm not going to let her live in the stalls again but I doubt it comes to that, I don't know what she has planned, but I"m sure that's not it... I'm sure she can figure something out

 

[DJDamage]

. Like the saying goes, "You don't have to go home but you've got to get the hell out of here!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMhU2h8Tfc4

 

[STR8UP]

I'm about to buy some horses for my stable I'm about to start. I was considering bringing her own as a trainer or an assistant trainer.. it would take care of two needs. I would have a trainer who I knows loves horses, and she would have a stable income. however, even though she knows her **** when it comes to horses, spotting them in the right races (which I could do better than most trainers) spotting injuries, knowing supplements, getting a horse to peak at the right time, all that stuff... I have my short list of trainers I'm interested in.. she needs a little more experience.

Hmmmm...could be wrong here, but the more i read the more it sounds like you want more from this woman than you are willing to admit to anyone, including yourself.

First you were thinking about letting her move in. Logic kicks in and you realize this would mean you are in a serious relationship, so you decide against it.

Then you think "ok, I'll just help her with her bills". As someone else mentioned, this makes you a sugar daddy, and your relationship is gonna change dramatically one way or the other. You are basically buying a piece of ass.

Option three....you hire her. Perfect way to launder the true intention of your actions, but it's no better than handing her money. Matter of fact it's much, MUCH worse, cause it can and probably will blow up in your face. I've lost half of my childhood friends over mixing business with pleasure.

Bottom line- Do NOT let her move in (you have already confirmed this), and do NOT hire her. The lesser of the three evils is the sugar daddy route. At least you won't be stuck in a situation you can't easily get yourself out of.

Tough love brother, tough love.

 

[backbreaker]

Hmmmm...could be wrong here, but the more i read the more it sounds like you want more from this woman than you are willing to admit to anyone, including yourself.

First you were thinking about letting her move in. Logic kicks in and you realize this would mean you are in a serious relationship, so you decide against it.

Then you think "ok, I'll just help her with her bills". As someone else mentioned, this makes you a sugar daddy, and your relationship is gonna change dramatically one way or the other. You are basically buying a piece of ass.

Option three....you hire her. Perfect way to launder the true intention of your actions, but it's no better than handing her money. Matter of fact it's much, MUCH worse, cause it can and probably will blow up in your face. I've lost half of my childhood friends over mixing business with pleasure.

Bottom line- Do NOT let her move in (you have already confirmed this), and do NOT hire her. The lesser of the three evils is the sugar daddy route. At least you won't be stuck in a situation you can't easily get yourself out of.

Tough love brother, tough love.

I think what it is..I don't know what I am supposed to do.

I am used to being emotionally detached. fvck and duck has been my motto.. but she's growing on me I have to admit, even though she doesn't know it.

I mean..it's like the girl who has a guy that she is supposed to like. I mean I do like her. I don't want to marry or or anything. I don't even know if I want an exclusive relationship yet. again, it's been 2 months.

Bottom line- Do NOT let her move in (you have already confirmed this), and do NOT hire her. The lesser of the three evils is the sugar daddy route. At least you won't be stuck in a situation you can't easily get yourself out of.

see, you get it. It's not that I WANT to, but it's the lesser of the three evils IF IT COMES DOWN TO IT.

also.. she is 6 years older than me, even though she looks better than girls I see my age and is in better shape than I am.. that's something I can't deny.but than again, I don't believe in marriage so I can walk up and leave, but than again, I'm not thinking that far down the road which is why I don't want her to move in.

she's coming over tonight too eat dinner/spend the night , I'm cooking and typing as we speak.

I think I need to just sit back and enjoy what is happening and stop trying to worry about the future so much

 

[backbreaker]

oh yeah.. 1) the vase girl called me again. she wants to "talk".. yeah. she told me she's changed.. why I picked up the phone I don't even know. I'm not touching that one.

2) One girl who is a waitress at a resturant I go to often and who I could tell was eyeing me, I got her number last night... I had other numbers in my phone but none enough to try to create a plate out of nothing. I'm going to spin this plate for the sake of me spinning it for the time being. I need.. what do you call it... a controlled medium to keep the little head in place right now. maybe I just didn't like the other plates aS MUCH as i like her..I go out with her Friday

 

[Obsidian]

good decision

Also, if their jobs are so damn horrible, why don't they quit. I heard burger king is hiring.
Idiots.

This guy is right on the money. You should always strive to do what you love, but ultimately, if you can't even pay the bills (or if you can pay the bills but have absolutely no free time because you're enslaved to your job), then you NEED TO GET ANOTHER JOB. It's the capitalist way!

She must sacrifice a little bit of fun at work so she can still live in a decent place (ie, not a ghetto) and have some free time to do what she finds even MORE fun: hang out with YOU. She needs to maximize her utility. And she needs to do it without leeching off of men like a hor.

She's got Pookish commandment #1 down ("Be true to yourself"), but she is neglecting commandment #3 ("Become financially free").

I still think it's absurd that she can't just find another roommate. Try craigslist; i just put an ad up there at 4am last night and got 5 responses within 15 hours.

 

[backbreaker]

This guy is right on the money. You should always strive to do what you love, but ultimately, if you can't even pay the bills (or if you can pay the bills but have absolutely no free time because you're enslaved to your job), then you NEED TO GET ANOTHER JOB. It's the capitalist way!

if I had that mindset,I wouldn't be retired now.


it's not all about money. it's about doing what you love. again, I'd rather die free than be a fat slave. she's as free as can be.


update:

man... I gotta tell ya. this girl is laying it on

THICK.

. She could teach the guys here a thing or two.

I get a call early this morning, about 7am, from her, TELLING me to clear my schedule, she has a "suprise" for me. "m like ****.. that's one of my moves.. the confident clear your schedule to setup a date move.. okay, I'll give you dibbs on that. Done.. not like I had anything sheduled anyway exect finish this damn book I have been trying to and look at some of Saturdays races, but this isn't a big saturday anyway. Anyway back to the story.

This girl comes over and tells me to get out my own damn house. not asks.. TELLS me. leave. bye. how the fvck do you get kicked out of your own house! I'm like okay.. I trust her here by herself.. So i go and get some ice cream and to go to the movie store to see if there is anything I missed out for about 2 hours, which is how long she told me to leave.

I come back, and she has my dinner table.. which i haven't used since i have been here, full of food. **** I have never seen seen before. I still don't know what i ate. but it was damn good. It was European food. Everything she bought herself (Again resourceful), even a nice bottle of wine. She had made a CD.. and either she has been doing it while i have been sleep when she was over my house (which wouldn't surprise me, because i"ma heavy sleeper) or she had to go over a friends house because she doesn't have a computer and the music was playing the background. And she was dressed up in a black sundress.

so after we ate (and my absolute fav food, cheesecake for desert) she tells me to get in bed. goes in the bathroom, comes out in a brown nightie with massage oil in hand.. how she knew I don't know. Gives me about an hour long massage, rolls me over, blows me until my nuts literary came out and then we went at it for about another hour.

She couldn't spend the night because she had to be at work.. actually now.

I brought up her living situation.. her words "I'll be fine" with a smile and a kiss..so that's that. Guess I didn't give the woman enough credit.

She is really growing on me. I'm going to take her out the country for her birthday next month (surprise) and stay for about a week, to see how that goes (being around each other for an extended amount of time). But everything, and i mean everything she has passed with flying colors. She says she hasn't been married or she really doesn't date because she doesn't like clingy men and she likes her independence. most men who date her are so in awe of her looks that they don't want tot leave her and when she wants her time to do what she wants, usually horses, they get tight in the ass and she'd, like me, rather be alone doing what she likes than to be tied up in a bad or unhelping relationship.

 

[Max Power]

backbreaker ... having read a lot of your posts the last two months my advice for you is this ... trust your gut .. not your head or your heart .. but your gut. You seem to have good instincts. Don't do what is right, but do what you feel in your gut is right.

 

[backbreaker]

lol, my gut is telling me to a) even though I really like this girl, go on the date with another girl I already had planned firday night and b) make no deciisons on anything until I take her out of town.

funny thing is, she knows (or at least assumes) I date other women! She told me 'I know you had other women before me and you probably still do.. I don't expect you to drop everyone because of me, but when it comes down to it I'll beat everyone else out"

I'm enjoying the moment.