Alright guys.. I need your imput on this one. I'm torn

[backbreaker]

Alright,, ever since I got popped upside the head with a glass vase, I'm trimmed my "list" down to 2 women.. one I see every so often, maybe once a week.. we like it that way.. and another that is a little more serious than that.. maybe 2-3 times a week. have been doing so for 2 months. the girl I see 1 time a week.. it's getting old, and not going anywhere.. she's about time to get recycled.


Here is the problem. I've trained myself not to trust women.. she must earn turn. I expect the worst all the time. I have no qualms about nexting a woman an moving on.

but this girl....she keeps passing! Dude.. I've never met anything like her. She loves horse racing (she is actually an exercise rider),s he is as hot as you can possibly imagine, she's a little older than me (30) but her mom is 50 and I'd fvck her mom as well (if I was drunk and didn't know her of course).. she's in better shape than I am (runs 5 miles a day plus riding), is smart, can cook, no kids, she's not needy, unreal in bed, she's confident, and yet even though she knows I have means, she doesn't ask for anything. she even pays for dates!

even when she knew I was seeing other women, she used one of my lines on me! "you'll end up with me anyway, because I'm the ****"

I need your help because, as much advice as I give out.. I'm be the first to tell you... LTR's and me are like vinegar and water. I don't keep them very long usually. I have a low tolerance for stupid/insecure/whiny women... I'd rather be alone/move on.

but I think .. I really like her.

She's spending more time over my house at night.. not a hell of alot more like every night but 3-4 times a week, which is 2-3 times more a week than is usual for me. I don't mind the company at all.
As independent as she is... I know what she makes at her job.. and it's literally scraps. But she loves what she does for a living so who am I to tell her to get another job. hell I like that. She's the first girl in about 4 years that made me actually not want to fvck other women... and that's a hard feat to accomplish.

The question I want to ask is..something came up....she hasn't put any pressure on me (and if she did that's 2 strikes), but her roommate from work is leaving and I know she can't afford her place by herself... I had the quickest inkling to let her move in with me. I know i know... I don't know what I'm thinking.... but is it really that bad? If I didn't bring it up to her no one would be the wiser... but she's the first girl in about again 4 years I actually wouldn't mind seeing around the house every day... of course she would be on "probation" for about 3 months with a quick trigger to get the fvck out, but... your opinions?

 

[Create Reality]

let her stay over at your place little by little, but of course remain a slight challenge. get her into the groove of what it would be like living with you so she can get comfortable with the idea, and then make a suggestion that she could stay with you full-time if she wants to.

 

[backbreaker]

women have patterned the "6 month move"... check it. it's trademarked in Washington. what i mean by that is they will literary move in one item at a time. one sock, one shirt, one toothbrush.

the big stuff is when it gets funny. My old GF had no problem sneaking in all her little items, then when the big crap came, she told me " can i keep my bed at your house, my mom doesn't' want it over hers anymore", then she had a "surprise" by letting me use her stereo.. and I already had (a better) one. Then her mail started popping up at my house, she said "well I just used your address, i'm over here all the time, I'm sure you don't mind"I went over her house one day and it was empty and i said wait a minute... you little cvnt you moved in!

the challenge isn't a problem. as much as I like her, I barely have enough time as is. I wouldn't mind seeing her now and the earliest i can have any real time with her is Wednesday night.

I know myself well enough to know that I won't let that be a problem, but I like having the opportunity of spinning plates. I don't want to marry her (or anyone) but what if I get the urge to go on a date with someone I see that's hot? What do I do? leave her at home and go?

 

[KontrollerX]

Might as well give her a shot at moving in and being an exclusive girlfriend to you backbreaker.

You seem to like her enough for that from what you've said so go ahead and give her a chance.

Just make sure to stay on your toes by staying interesting, avoiding oneitis and protecting your heart and you should be alright. Basically just remember the man you have become and are now is all I'm sayin lol.

The "too good to be true" types are usually bad news but occassionally you do run into one that really is truly good and good for you.

So yeah giving her a chance should be alright and at least makes it so she doesn't become a regret to you later on for never doing so.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..... I had the quickest inkling to let her move in with me....

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

..... I know i know... I don't know what I'm thinking.... but is it really that bad?

:yes:

..... but she's the first girl in about again 4 years I actually wouldn't mind seeing around the house every day...

So why don't you propose to her?

.....
of course she would be on "probation" for about 3 months with a quick trigger to get the fvck out,..

Oh, I see that you're not that into her. Personally, I like independent women and the thing that defines stability is self sufficiency of being able to support yourself.

Don't jump into anything that effects someones livelihood. If there's a chance that it won't work within three months it's not worth it putting yourself or the other person in such a situation.

Here's something to consider. If it's such a good idea to move in together, why don't you move into her place. You could always move out after three months if it doesn't work out.

 

[STR8UP]

I wouldn't, but that's just me.

Keep in mind that if she moves in, you are basically married.

Been there THREE times myself. Once at 19 (ouch), once at 25, and once at about 29.

I learned a lot from the experiences, but after the last one (which is about the same time I pulled my head out of my ass when it comes to dealing with women) I decided i wouldn't let it happen again UNLESS I plan to get married. In that case I would definitely live with her first.

 

[Obsidian]

Hmm, I wouldn't really recommend it.

A Don Juan never lives with a woman. He is a free man. He will marry the BEST when he meets her. (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=16851)

I know you don't believe in ever getting legally married, but it sounds like you're not even ready to be unofficially bound to this woman.

 

[backbreaker]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

:yes:

So why don't you propose to her?

Oh, I see that you're not that into her. Personally, I like independent women and the thing that defines stability is self sufficiency of being able to support yourself.

Don't jump into anything that effects someones livelihood. If there's a chance that it won't work within three months it's not worth it putting yourself or the other person in such a situation.

Here's something to consider. If it's such a good idea to move in together, why don't you move into her place. You could always move out after three months if it doesn't work out.

first of all... me moving out of my 3000 square foot rental that's paid for the rest of the year here in del mar to move in with her and her in a 2 bedroom shack isn't an option. plus I have dogs and some new pet fishies... and I live close to the beach. and I have 3 cars. so it's not really an option.

In all honestly, I side with you.. I don't know. I just don't trust women. it's worked out for me the last 4 years... but it's like she understands she has to earn my trust and she is doing it.

another option is just giving her a little money to help with the bils.. which would be the most prudent thing for me to do, the money isn't an issue, and I get to keep my freedom/independence.. but then the logic kicks in/.. if you are helping her pay, why not just have her move in?

I mean she has her quirks.. no one is perfect. she's pretty quiet.. she goes to sleep a little earlier than what I am used to (she's alseep now) and she has a habit of making sharp comments.. but thoose are personality quirks that everyone has. I have them.

Star8up, I know. there is no difference between the ring orn ot once she moves in, even though I wish it was.


I'm at a crossroad here. i can't be fvcking this girl in my house, and have her go back to her place that I know anyday she will get evicted from (she makes like 200 a week..b ut that's pretty much the going rate for backstretch workers).. and if it's not that she would be living in the actual backstrech with horses (which is pretty common, even among female workers) to save money. But I have came to the conclusion that her moving in is nt an option.. at least now. for gods sake it's been 2 months. a hell of a 2 months.. but 2 months nevertheless.

I'm going to end up helping her pay rent. it's the lesser of the two evils the way I see it. that way if anything happens, I can go my way and be done with it, and I can still fvck other women.

 

[backbreaker]

I say go for it, man.

A girl like that doesn't come everyday. I know exactly how you feel, man. there's some girls out there that you can connect with on a deeper level. Sometimes you just gotta throw out the rules and go with what you know is right. If you feel this is the girl, then that's cool. You know all the rules and you know what to do..so the moment you feel the relationship is not going the way you want it, you have the arsenal and knowledge and skills to take care of business...so just go for it. That's my 2 cents.

oh yeah. send me that playlist!

man I thought i gave you that on the post the other day, what exactly did you want? I'll get it for ya.. it's a hellofa cd

 

[STR8UP]

I'm going to end up helping her pay rent. it's the lesser of the two evils the way I see it. that way if anything happens, I can go my way and be done with it, and I can still fvck other women.

Hey, it's your money, but IMO you are thinking with the little head, not the big one.

 

[KneghtRyder]

go for it dude..if it makes you happy.

 

[backbreaker]

Hey, it's your money, but IMO you are thinking with the little head, not the big one.

actually if i was thinking with the little head I wouldn't give a fvck about her financial situation.

something just isn't right, at least to me, fvcking someone in a house like mine and then sending her to a place she will get evicted from if she doesn't' get help... all for chasing a dream. i've been there.

and i'm not paying all her damn bills.. but I'll help out. maybe a couple of hundred a month, which again Is the least of my concerns.

thinking long term, if she does get evicted.. nothing good whatsoever would come of it. either she is going to move back in on the backstretch and worried about getting assualted at night and then have watch duty meaning she will never get a night off to come over my house, or she will pressure me to move in. the first person she is going to look at is me, because i have means and wonder why she is good enough to fvck but not good enough to have over her house. I'm trying to prevent a problem before it happens.

but I will wait until the whole roommate situation plays out which should be by the end of the week. even though the money isn't an issue, i don't' like just throwing it away

 

[Obsidian]

bah, now you've gone from hating marriage to becoming a sugar daddy. This sounds somewhat foolish, altho I understand your dilemma. Just find her a new roommate, for heaven's sake.

 

[backbreaker]

humm... I like it. find her a roomate. there's a reason I still come here. trust me I don't WANT to pay her bills... but I'd rather be labled a sugar daddy than see what I think will happen, happen. I have the ability to see 3-4 steps down a relationship... I can see a clusterfvck if she doesn't get a roomate. she's not moving in.. I've established that.. at least no time this year.

you have to understand the situtation. If she has to go back to living on the backstretch (which in laymens' sterms means living in the stalls at the horse track), they will make her do night watch at night, meaning she pretty much won't have a life and which will also mean that she can't come see me. **** she just moved out of there 6 months ago. It's not a bad place.. well yes it is, but it's worht it to be aorund something you love free room and board. the money isn't great but even now, as successful as I have been... I'd think about it. I love horses that much. she does too. so I don't knock her for that.

I just see the reazliation that if she doesn't get a roomate, our sex life is fvcked one way or another. she 1) goes back there 2) moves with me, ruining my sexl ife.. even though I like her.. that's a huge step I'm not ready to make or 3) she gets evicted and gets pissed, then moves back in the backstretch.

in that case..again the less of the evils.. I'm not into labels, I'm into thinking things out. I'd rather help her pay some bills.. If I have to give her a couple hundred a month to keep my ease of mind and to keep her around, and to keep my social life as is, so the fvck be it. Id' rather do that, then have her move back then I can't see her AT ALL because I tried to "be a man" and not help.. because i know she isn't going to ask me for anything. and if it doesn't workout.. fvck it. i can just stop and move on and she can do whatever she wants.

 

[Serialized3]

fuggadaboutit

 

[Serialized3]

xxz

 

[backbreaker]

dude did you even bother to read my post? she's not moving in.

I know what she is going though because I know the horse racing industry. it's pretty cut and dry. unless someone else gets hired that wants to bunk up with her, she's back in the stalls unless someone there wants to move out, which usually isn't the case because it's free.

is this how you guys think all the time? I mean my gosh. give me a little more credit than that.

I'm the same guy that a week ago dumped a smokin hot broad for getting too clingy and throwing hints she wanted to move in. this happens more times than once.

I'm a pretty good judge of character. She has character, that's not my concern, and that wasn't my reason for the post. My own real concern was moving in yes or no.. it's a no.

 

[Serialized3]

I read your original post, where you asked whether or not you should let her move in with you. I didn't feel like reading all the follow up posts. If you made up your mind in another post after that, I missed it. My bad.

Also, I don't hang out with a bunch of jockeys or whatever, so I have no idea how a girl in the "horse racing industry" bunks up. Most guys on the board don't know about it either. Whatever.

If you already have it figured out and don't want opinions, don't ask for advice. Forgive me for saying anything.

 

[backbreaker]

why put something like that in qutation marks. you'd know if you would have read the other posts, I laid it out. i don't expect anyone to know how everything works but I laid enough out there to get a glispe of what goes on.

that's an insult to what I do for a living, fvck off

 

[Obsidian]

backbreaker, you never really did explain why she is so incapable of finding a new roommate for herself (or how her current one got out of her lease early, for that matter). But despite the lack of explanation, i'm starting to gather that this isn't a realistic solution...

You can do whatever you think is best; I'm just wondering what the point is of allowing yourself to feel pressured this way by a girl you just started dating recently. What happens when you decide to break up with her? Will you feel comfortable doing so knowing that she can't support herself without you?

For that matter, how the hell can you properly gage someone's interest level if they're leeching off of you so much? (Forget all about being a man and earning respect; I'm just talking about reading her IL, rather than raising/maintaining it) It will be like a waitress who flirts with you...Sure, you can ask her out if you want, but chances are she's just trying to get more of a tip out of you.

Maybe you feel so confident in your heart of steel that you can dump her any time you wish. And maybe you are so confident in your attractiveness that ANY girl who is with you MUST be attracted to you -- so therefore you won't need to worry about her faking high IL. Being a sugar daddy just seems like a half step away from being a chump, and getting used.