"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Alpha Male handshakes

Guitar_Whizz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2002
Messages
1,028
Reaction score
240
Location
UK
Can anyone give me some thoughts about how to subcommunicate you're Alpha with your handshake. Like when you shake hands with another male, you want to be able to non-verbally say "I'm the dominant male here" but without being an arsehole.

I think there are 3 things that make your handshake Alpha, but if anyone else can add to these, please do:-

1) Good solid firm grip (no limp wrist bull****).

2) Turn your hand so that your hand is above theirs.

3) Hold solid eye contact while hand shaking.

Any more thoughts to add to this?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
2,051
Reaction score
21
Location
USA
Strong/firm grip with eye contact.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch

DJDamage

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2004
Messages
5,657
Reaction score
104
Location
Canada
Do you honestly think that if you all of the sudden shake a person's hand a certain way, you will automatically stand out in the room and people will think you are a dominant?!

A Handshake won't do it, a change of positive masculine character will.

Otherwise you will look like this douchbag: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4jJkhV2nFs&feature=related
 

OrangeCrusader

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
85
Reaction score
2
This is nitpicking IMO, and not really useful in many social situations. In business, however, a solid handshake can be a decent advantage over someone with a poor one, all else equal.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
2,051
Reaction score
21
Location
USA
Well sure, those hand shakes don't mean anything. But, shaking a mans hand with a strong grip and using eye contact show's character. It won't prove that to anybody besides the guys hand you just shaked.

What I don't like is when someone shakes my hand and it's all weak/limp with no grip.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
I.A.F.Y.B. said:
Well sure, those hand shakes don't mean anything. But, shaking a mans hand with a strong grip and using eye contact show's character. It won't prove that to anybody besides the guys hand you just shaked.

What I don't like is when someone shakes my hand and it's all weak/limp with no grip.
Having a firm handshake is one thing, a quick and silent show of stature. But some type of mystery, after school, clubhouse boy's club, palm tickling doesn't come to mind when I think of Alpha.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
2,051
Reaction score
21
Location
USA
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Having a firm handshake is one thing, a quick and silent show of stature. But some type of mystery, after school, clubhouse boy's club, palm tickling doesn't come to mind when I think of Alpha.
Aye, indeed not.
 

betterthandead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2007
Messages
296
Reaction score
7
Whatever happened to just having a reasonable firm handshake? I once shook hands with some overly aggressive guy who was trying to be "alpha" who was squeezing my hands for a couple seconds when I tried to take it away.

Some of you guys take this alpha business seriously.
 

BlakeW5

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 7, 2008
Messages
292
Reaction score
3
Location
KY
It doesn't so much communicate "alpha". It just communicates that you're not a b*tch. A good firm handshake with eye contact makes people respect you. A limp hanshake, a handshake where you squeeze too hard, or you try to turn the other guys hand over doesn't reflect that well on you. The first says you're socially inept and a p*ssy. The last two just show you're trying too hard to come off as tough or strong.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

jacob

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2007
Messages
287
Reaction score
11
Guitar_Whizz said:
Can anyone give me some thoughts about how to subcommunicate you're Alpha with your handshake. Like when you shake hands with another male, you want to be able to non-verbally say "I'm the dominant male here" but without being an arsehole.

I think there are 3 things that make your handshake Alpha, but if anyone else can add to these, please do:-

1) Good solid firm grip (no limp wrist bull****).

2) Turn your hand so that your hand is above theirs.

3) Hold solid eye contact while hand shaking.

Any more thoughts to add to this?

Ok, the dominant male handshake goes like this. You don't initiate the handshake and when he does, leave your arm at your side and just bend from the elbow with your palm facing upward, almost like when someone gives you "five" but leave the natural curve in your hand instead of making it flat and staight. look him in the eye and say "wassup" and don't convey any hostility. don't grab for his hand, let him take your hand, so it be like he has to put his hand into yours. This conveys leadership. if you can imagine the right way I'm telling you he'll feel dominated. I used to be in a gang and we would respect the gang leader because of all the stories and things we seen and heard about this guy, alot of the girls new he was the leader and I don't care how ugly this guy was, he was alpha, and he would get his pick of the hottest babes that kicked back with us. Every time we got together we would try and shake his hand just cause we respected this dude, and he would do exactly what I described above. if done the right way you'll get the reaction of what you were asking in this post.
 
Joined
Mar 14, 2007
Messages
150
Reaction score
0
why worry if your handshake is more 'alpha' than the other guy's??? I hate crap like this. just give a firm shake and eye contact if you want some respect - but if you think a handshake is going to turn some other male into your inferior - that is ridiculous. we as men don't need this catty competition crap over handshakes.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
betterthandead said:
Whatever happened to just having a reasonable firm handshake? I once shook hands with some overly aggressive guy who was trying to be "alpha" who was squeezing my hands for a couple seconds when I tried to take it away.

Some of you guys take this alpha business seriously.
Either that or he thought you were cute. :p
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

DJVladdy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2007
Messages
1,037
Reaction score
17
Whoever asks a question like this in the first place is automatically a beta male.
 

Groovy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 21, 2008
Messages
752
Reaction score
22
Right on!

A real alpha doesn't worrie about being alpha. He just is.

Even if you alpha someone with these techniques, you're not.

The same way that someone who is cool doesn't have to walk in a room and say "Hey I'm cool!", if someone is alpha he doesn't really have to show it.

Line of thinking: "Have to be alpha" = You may come out as alpha but you're just beta.

Real alpha: "I'm going to be myself. I just am!"
 
Top