All of this rejection is making me depressed

[Bokanovsky]

Rejection is always unpleasant but it’s not a big deal when it’s interspersed with success. Think of it as a tennis match. You win points, you lose points…individually, each lost point doesn’t mean much. It’s only when you lose all points or nearly all points that you become discouraged.

Same thing with women. And that’s why I think that people who recommend serial cold approaching to men who are already struggling with women are doing more harm than good. Cold approaching is a low probability game. It’s like playing the lottery, except with your time rather than your money. If you’re treating the lottery as a means of earning income and blowing your last savings on lottery tickets, you’re heading towards disaster. If, on the other hand, you see it as a fun game that you partake in every once in a while, it’s okay.

Cold approaching can only work when it comes from a position of confidence. And it absolutely cannot be your sole or even primary strategy for meeting women. If you do that, you will end with depression, a negative outlook, and perhaps even lasting psychological damage from constant rejection.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Who here does not enjoy women?

*glances nervously from right to left*

 

[corrector]

*glances nervously from right to left*

But you watch nude women / porn on the internet. The photos didn't come from space. They are women who were photographed and put on the internet so you enjoy women too.

 

[lost_blackbird]

But you watch nude women / porn on the internet. The photos didn't come from space. They are women who were photographed and put on the internet so you enjoy women too.

Yes but it’s purely a visual thing. I’ve said before that I’m cursed by finding them aesthetically attractive. But I don’t have to talk to porn women, I don’t have to entertain porn women, I don’t have to validate porn women. I don’t have to listen to porn women. I don’t have to touch or be touched by porn women. I don’t have to satisfy porn women. I don’t have to pay for porn women. I don’t have to present my body to porn women. Porn women won’t accuse me of something I didn’t do, Porn women won’t gossip about me to their friends. The list goes on and on. I just look at them until the job is done. Quick and 100% hassle free.

 

[SW15]

porn women, Quick and 100% hassle free.

Porn is bad. Do you know why people turn to porn? Porn happens due to rejection in real life. There would be no need for porn if you're having success in getting sex from women. The rejection happens first, then the porn, and the quicksand of rejection gets deeper.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Porn is bad. Do you know why people turn to porn? Porn happens due to rejection in real life. There would be no need for porn if you're having success in getting sex from women. The rejection happens first, then the porn, and the quicksand of rejection gets deeper.

I had sex on a plate on offer any time I wanted from my very attractive, intelligent, 10 years younger than me wife and I
wasn't interested. She would have loved it if I'd thrown her around over the furniture and smashed as often as my c0ck and
body could manage. But after she cheated just 3 months after our marriage, with some fvcking barman of all people then
my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I wasn't prepared to walk out of the marriage at that point and endured another 8 years
of being with someone I didn't trust and therefore didn't honestly want to fvck. If we did have sex (somewhere between once
a month to once every 3 months) it would be because she came into my bedroom and initiated it. Ultimately, it drove her
into the arms of (yet) another man. I should be furious about this but honestly, I kind of expected that to happen sooner or
later. Nothing I'm speaking of here is that unusual for an Aspie male. Once the trust was gone so was any passion toward her.
I stayed with her out of love, not lust. Can't honestly see any kind of different outcome with another woman, so by and large
I'm now pretty much done with the lot of them. Porn deals with keeping ones prostate healthy and that's about it. Like I said
before, I'm resigned to being alone now. She truly broke my heart and I'll not be rushing up the queue for another kick in the
nuts.

 

[Robert28]

I had sex on a plate on offer any time I wanted from my very attractive, intelligent, 10 years younger than me wife and I
wasn't interested. She would have loved it if I'd thrown her around over the furniture and smashed as often as my c0ck and
body could manage. But after she cheated just 3 months after our marriage, with some fvcking barman of all people then
my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I wasn't prepared to walk out of the marriage at that point and endured another 8 years
of being with someone I didn't trust and therefore didn't honestly want to fvck. If we did have sex (somewhere between once
a month to once every 3 months) it would be because she came into my bedroom and initiated it. Ultimately, it drove her
into the arms of (yet) another man. I should be furious about this but honestly, I kind of expected that to happen sooner or
later. Nothing I'm speaking of here is that unusual for an Aspie male. Once the trust was gone so was any passion toward her.
I stayed with her out of love, not lust. Can't honestly see any kind of different outcome with another woman, so by and large
I'm now pretty much done with the lot of them. Porn deals with keeping ones prostate healthy and that's about it. Like I said
before, I'm resigned to being alone now. She truly broke my heart and I'll not be rushing up the queue for another kick in the
nuts.

The thing is though she will end up alone not by choice, but you’re CHOOSING to be alone. She will be alone because she won’t be wanted by anyone other than an occasional hookup. That’s how you win in the end.

 

[lost_blackbird]

The thing is though she will end up alone not by choice, but you’re CHOOSING to be alone. She will be alone because she won’t be wanted by anyone other than an occasional hookup. That’s how you win in the end.

She's already got a new man from her pool of orbiters. She wanted me to meet him a few weeks ago.
I pointed out that the two of us should never be within striking distance of one another. I'm done though.
I can't take this happening again, I'll swing.

 

[Robert28]

She's already got a new man from her pool of orbiters. She wanted me to meet him a few weeks ago.
I pointed out that the two of us should never be within striking distance of one another. I'm done though.
I can't take this happening again, I'll swing.

If she’s resorting to the bottom of the barbell of backups (orbiters) that tells me she’s close to being done as far as success with men go. She’s faking happiness but it’s not real.

 

[corrector]

I had sex on a plate on offer any time I wanted from my very attractive, intelligent, 10 years younger than me wife and I
wasn't interested. She would have loved it if I'd thrown her around over the furniture and smashed as often as my c0ck and
body could manage. But after she cheated just 3 months after our marriage, with some fvcking barman of all people then
my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I wasn't prepared to walk out of the marriage at that point and endured another 8 years
of being with someone I didn't trust and therefore didn't honestly want to fvck. If we did have sex (somewhere between once
a month to once every 3 months) it would be because she came into my bedroom and initiated it. Ultimately, it drove her
into the arms of (yet) another man. I should be furious about this but honestly, I kind of expected that to happen sooner or
later. Nothing I'm speaking of here is that unusual for an Aspie male. Once the trust was gone so was any passion toward her.
I stayed with her out of love, not lust. Can't honestly see any kind of different outcome with another woman, so by and large
I'm now pretty much done with the lot of them. Porn deals with keeping ones prostate healthy and that's about it. Like I said
before, I'm resigned to being alone now. She truly broke my heart and I'll not be rushing up the queue for another kick in the
nuts.

You can't really trust women 100% though. Especially godless or worldly women who don't know Jesus. They are really capable of doing anything because they are dominated by their senses even though they may mean well at the beginning, or even try to make it up to you.

I didn't realize you were that deeply hurt or affected by this. I can't bring myself to trust women because my contentment and trust is supposed directed to Jesus, not women. That way, that "trust" that belongs to God can't really be owned by any woman and be hurt by one.

 

[PRW63]

There should be no serious investment over the course of only a few dates. If a chick says "she just isn't that into you" after 3-4 dates who cares? You should have made minimal investment in her at that point. Even if it is a woman you find very attractive, you need to keep your distance emotionally before you start a heavy investment and get to know the woman quite well

Should be the "Golden Rule", or one of them.
I'd also add to it to never fantasize about any woman for weeks or months before getting the "courage" to do something. That is like living a "relationship" in your mind. Then if you get shot down it feels like a breakup, a breakup from the relationship that existed only in your mind. Make a move and try to get a date early, before you let that happen, then if you get rejected it is "nothing",...and by the same token if she accepts you then you don't end up the giddy goofy stupid schoolboy over the acceptance.

 

[characternote]

This maybe true if the good looking guy literally has NO game. Like, he’s a clueless virgin who averts his gaze and starts mumbling incoherently when he sees an attractive woman. If a good looking guy has the bare minimum of game (i.e. he can carry a normal conversation with a woman and doesn’t come across as painfully shy or weird), he will have a leg up on the average looking guy with “tight” game. I witnessed this myself in many social situations.

100%
My wing could crush every PUA on here or on youtube and his 'game' is pretty much 'don't be weird' lol.
Everything in game books and stuff really is just common sense anyway . It's not some sort of black magic. The bar is low. What matters is attraction

 

[Barrister]

100%
My wing could crush every PUA on here or on youtube and his 'game' is pretty much 'don't be weird' lol.
Everything in game books and stuff really is just common sense anyway . It's not some sort of black magic. The bar is low. What matters is attraction

Sure, no one is denying (physical) attraction matters. But the suggestion that game is just "not being weird" is not completely true. Good game is not just avoiding awkwardness but increasing sexual tension at the same time through confident and flirtatious communication, much of it covert. You're right it isn't black magic, although many posters, some in this very thread (not saying you), seem to think that it doesn't exist or doesn't matter at all.