Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
From what I've seen, most girls don't give a fvck if you're a virgin or not. A few girls wanted to take my V plates, but I was looking to lose it to someone I was really in to. I sorta said "fvck that" though. Girl who I lost it to is really cool though. We dated for a bit, but we decided to just stay friends. I know the "just friends" thing has bad connotation on this board, but I really do like her more as a friend than a girl I was dating.pyros said:so why would you lie to a girl about you being virgin?
I mean, first time I banged one girl, I said I was not virgin because I thougth it would kill her attraction to me, but does it really?
I always wondered.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yeah I think you're right MisterD. I woke up today after last night and had sort of an awakening I guess. I'm really getting over the whole party scene. The only reason why I go out on the weekend is cause it's something to do. I want to focus my time away from it all and spend my leisure time doing things that are good for me. Like hiking, riding my bike, studying new things, rock climbing, etc.. Not drinking, doing drugs (minus marijuana and occasional psychedelics), or participating in the whole MTV hook up culture stuff.MisterD said:Alex congrats on your progress.
However, if you're genuinely concerned about catching stuff, or your tired of getting drunk and hooking up with these party girls, if you feel you deserve more/want more/expect more from women, change your scene
the object at first was to get laid, you've gotten over that hurdle. now it's about setting standards for yourself.
I hear you man. I'm in college and i'm not really into that whole scene. I just feel like with girls like that, it's not a good measure of your value. If I wasn't at the bar that night she would have just gone home with another dude. I was just in the right place at the right time.Alex DeLarge said:Yeah I think you're right MisterD. I woke up today after last night and had sort of an awakening I guess. I'm really getting over the whole party scene. The only reason why I go out on the weekend is cause it's something to do. I want to focus my time away from it all and spend my leisure time doing things that are good for me. Like hiking, riding my bike, studying new things, rock climbing, etc.. Not drinking, doing drugs (minus marijuana and occasional psychedelics), or participating in the whole MTV hook up culture stuff.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.