Alex DeLarge's College Approach Journal.

[pyros]

so why would you lie to a girl about you being virgin?

I mean, first time I banged one girl, I said I was not virgin because I thougth it would kill her attraction to me, but does it really?

I always wondered.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

so why would you lie to a girl about you being virgin?

I mean, first time I banged one girl, I said I was not virgin because I thougth it would kill her attraction to me, but does it really?

I always wondered.

From what I've seen, most girls don't give a fvck if you're a virgin or not. A few girls wanted to take my V plates, but I was looking to lose it to someone I was really in to. I sorta said "fvck that" though. Girl who I lost it to is really cool though. We dated for a bit, but we decided to just stay friends. I know the "just friends" thing has bad connotation on this board, but I really do like her more as a friend than a girl I was dating.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #69

Last night I almost decided to not meet up with the HB9.5 chick. I wasn't really in the mood to go out, and I just wanted to chill and watch movies cause I had a long week. Then she texted me last night around 9.. And my buddies were like "dude she's fvcking hot, don't blow her off.. go get her". So then I pushed myself off the couch to go meet up with her.

We got a few beers together, then went dancing together. She danced with a few different dudes, but I didn't really give a fvck. She apologized for it after, and I said "What are you apologizing for? Having fun? Are you crazy?" haha..

A few minutes later she says to me "Are you gonna buy me a drink?" and I just said back to her "nah" and she said "what? why? You asked me out blah blah" and I said "so what? I'll buy you a drink if I want to buy you a drink" It was kind of funny. I'm not that good looking really, and this chick was a 9.5, a stripper, and did some modeling for a while. She could have easily got any other guy there to buy her a drink and take her home, but for some reason she stood by me. Then she says this while we go back to dancing..

"You're such an ass hole! But I kinda like it"

Right then I started making out with her. We left, and we went back to her place. We go into her room and make out some more. I ripped her shirt off so her boobs were out and threw her on her bed. I feel her up and we make out for 10 minutes or so, was getting a ton of LMR from her though. She claimed to be on her period, which I'm sure she might have been.. But she also kept saying "we are so not having sex tonight! this is the first time I ever hung out with you"..

We fool around all night, and I'm persistent toward moving further with her and she keeps denying me. At this point I'm getting kinda frustrated and just decide to go to sleep.

Next morning I woke up with a raging hard on so I tried again.. Same sh1t. Ugh! This girl is sooo hot. I figure I'll have another shot sometime to seal the deal though. She seemed into me enough.

 

[JohnChops]

my god man this is real inspirational. ive started tracking my encounters as well, cant wait to post it up. keep it up

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #70

My band played a gig tonight and the HB9.5 came out. She was acting kind of girlfriend-ish with me and I felt uncomfortable (or maybe cause I was really stoned).. Well after the show we went to a party, then back to her place.

I got the LMR again and no matter what I did, it kept persisting.. Then she started giving me head which ruled. I figured "Now's the best time then!" Started trying to finger her and she moved my hand away! What gives?.. Then she says this to me..

"I have a sort of medical condition down there right now. I hope you don't hate me."..... :nervous: .... .... :woo:

I told her "Thank you I appreciate that you told me that before we went any further." But then she said "It's not like an STD or anything." So now I'm super confused. The first thing that popped into my head was "Fvck.. does "she" have a d1ck?! Oh god!" Then my anxiety started to kick in combined with the marijuana and I was all panicky.

I'm kind of freaking out right now. I'm thinking that maybe I should go get tested since she gave me a BJ, but at the same time, I don't think she'd give me a BJ if she knew something bad could happen out of it (since she wouldn't even let me touch her pvssy).

Fvck, I'm starting to wonder if this nonsense is even worth it anymore. I enjoy spending time with women and making love, but I don't think it's worth the risk of my health.

 

[MisterD]

Alex congrats on your progress.

However, if you're genuinely concerned about catching stuff, or your tired of getting drunk and hooking up with these party girls, if you feel you deserve more/want more/expect more from women, change your scene

the object at first was to get laid, you've gotten over that hurdle. now it's about setting standards for yourself.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Alex congrats on your progress.

However, if you're genuinely concerned about catching stuff, or your tired of getting drunk and hooking up with these party girls, if you feel you deserve more/want more/expect more from women, change your scene

the object at first was to get laid, you've gotten over that hurdle. now it's about setting standards for yourself.

Yeah I think you're right MisterD. I woke up today after last night and had sort of an awakening I guess. I'm really getting over the whole party scene. The only reason why I go out on the weekend is cause it's something to do. I want to focus my time away from it all and spend my leisure time doing things that are good for me. Like hiking, riding my bike, studying new things, rock climbing, etc.. Not drinking, doing drugs (minus marijuana and occasional psychedelics), or participating in the whole MTV hook up culture stuff.

 

[MisterD]

Yeah I think you're right MisterD. I woke up today after last night and had sort of an awakening I guess. I'm really getting over the whole party scene. The only reason why I go out on the weekend is cause it's something to do. I want to focus my time away from it all and spend my leisure time doing things that are good for me. Like hiking, riding my bike, studying new things, rock climbing, etc.. Not drinking, doing drugs (minus marijuana and occasional psychedelics), or participating in the whole MTV hook up culture stuff.

I hear you man. I'm in college and i'm not really into that whole scene. I just feel like with girls like that, it's not a good measure of your value. If I wasn't at the bar that night she would have just gone home with another dude. I was just in the right place at the right time.

Without sounding too sappy, I like it more when girls are interested in me for me, whether it be my creative side since I'm an amateur photographer or whatever, it's just better when you connect on a more personal level.

I know some guys are just out for the lay but I'm looking for a little more. Maybe not a full blown relationship, but a connection I know i can't find at a bar or club

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #71

Wow, lots of catching up to do.. So this past weekend I was hanging out with HB9 girl who's off and on with me all the time. We were kissing and all that.. Then I said to her "Hey I'd like you to be my girlfriend. Just letting you know that the offer's there." I know this is sort of against the whole ethics of this board, but I was just being honest with myself and her. She told me "I don't really want a boyfriend right now." and I said back "Cool, that's all you needed to tell me." and we continued doing what we were doing anyways. I was a little bummed, but actions speak louder than words. As far as I'm concerned, if she's kissing/making out with me then all is well.

Now fast forward.. Last night I got out of work and came back to my apartment. HB9 girl is here with another girl who my roomates mackin it to. Turned out they bought us some flowers? Kinda weird, but whatever. I thanked them. They were all cooking a big dinner, hanging out, and drinking wine. HB9 and I cuddled a bit, then I headed out to go catch my friend's band playing on the other side of town. I invited HB9 my roomate and her friend, but they didn't want to come.

I go to the show and catch my friend's band.. Then I start heading home. I'm about to jump on a bus where I get a text from HB9.5 saying "You hate me don't you?" followed by a phone call. I'm just thinking "Oh great here's a disaster. Might as well face the music." I pick up the phone and she's with one of her friends at a bar right by the bus stop. She invites me over there so I go chill with them for a bit.

I decide not to drink cause I have class the following morning but HB9.5's friend buys me a beer. We're all hanging out talking about the show and having a good time. At this point, HB9.5 gets up to use the restroom. It's me and her friend just chilling and talking. Then all of a sudden her friend tries to kiss-close me! Crazy. Her friend was a HB6 at best and I wasn't really interested. We exchanged numbers just for the hell of it, then HB9.5 came back. We all hungout a while more and bounced.

Then I get a text from the HB9 who denied me on the girlfriend thing "Love you".. Immediately after, another text from the HB6 chick "<3".. I'm thinking "What the hell's going on. I'm trying to stay away from women sexually right now and just get my **** together and focus on school + work. Why does this happen right now?"

Then I realized It's in the magic of not really giving a sh1t about women. Not really in the idea of treating them like sh1t.. But just not really caring to hook up or get a number or any of that. It's shutting your mind off toward the negs, the kino, and all that other stupid pick up artist sh1t. It's just being your natural confident self.

After all of this, I went and smoked some weed with HB9.5 and watched some TV with her. She's a fun girl, but not really my type I guess. I know that sounds really arrogant, especially on an internet forum, but it's the truth. Plus she told me she has a "medical condition" where she can't have sex. But then followed up wtih "It's not herpes or anything though".. I wanna be like "So what is it? HIV?" haha.. But she's a really sweet girl and I don't wanna hurt her feelings. We just cuddled all night and watched tv, then I bounced earlier this morning.

Supposed to go to some festival this weekend with the HB9 and a few of our mutual friends. Sounds like a lot of fun and I'm lookin forward to it. In the meantime, I'm gonna keep a break from going out. I've been really slacking this semester with school and think I might fail a class cause I've been too caught up in the music scene out here.

 

[self-respect]

I wouldn't write off the 9.5 just yet. She's certainly very into you and up for everything else. Have you read up on vaginismus? Could be that or something similar. She might be telling you the truth, even though it's tough for her to admit and it sucks for her.

Then again, it could be extreme LMR or games. You still have other great plates so keep it up man. Great read.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #72

So I was hangin out with my roomate last night just doing some reading and I got a text from HB9 girl (the one who denied being my girlfriend).. Her and her friend (who my roomates also banging off and on) were in town and wanted to hangout. So we go meet up with them.

Now my roomate was saying "Dude it would be sick to bring them back tonight.. Imagine that?" and I just said "What are you crazy? It's so obvious that's happening tonight that I haven't even thought about it. We've done it before, let's just do it again."

Lo and behold, a few hours later and look where we wind back up! our apartment. I wasn't really expecting sex out of this girl since I figured she lost interest when I asked her to be my girlfriend. But I just sorta had the feeling that it was gonna happen all night. Weird.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #73

OUT LIKE A BOSS.

So tonight I hung out with HB9. The other night she said she wanted to be my girlfriend (again) then said nevermind (again). What a fvckin psycho.. Anyways.. I told her to cut the sh1t. Then she said "Can you give me a week to think about this?" Then I said back "If you can't make up your mind now, then you're never gonna. Love you." Then gave her a kiss goodbye.

I've given this chick way too many chances. Now it's time to draw the line. I really do love her. I've known the girl nearly a decade, but I've known myself for longer. So I go OUT LIKE A BOSS.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Entry #74

Went over HB9.5 stripper chick's house the other night and drank with her and some of her obnoxious friends. All of them seemed like losers (go figure). Anyways, I made the best of it and slept over the chick's place. Didn't really do anything with her cause I was tired, drunk, and just wanted to sleep. However, I found out why she has been giving me so much LMR the past few times I've seen her. Two reasons.

The first reason, I guess this chick had an abortion about a month ago before I met her. She told me that it kind of psychologically fvcked with her and it's hard for her to have sex now. I just told her "thank you for being upfront with me about it." AFC move? I don't think so. I'm not going to coerce a girl into sex if she's that mentally scarred by something so recent.

The second reason, a friend of mine used to date this girl a year ago. He has a girlfriend now, but I guess he hits her up all the time trying to score n00dies from her. She told me she was really sh1tty to him and he still has feelings for her. I think this might have just been a plot to get me jealous on her part since I ditched out on hanging with her last week, but if this is the case, I might just call it quits with her. I know my friend has his girlfriend now.. But I don't really care to be involved in stupid situations like these, there are plenty of other girls out there.

I cut contact with HB9 girl about 5 days ago since she dumped me. I asked one of her friends who's dating my roomate to take her stuff back for me since I did not want her here anymore. She agreed. I sent HB9 a text saying "___ will be bringing your stuff back from my house tonight." She sent me 8 texts in a row and called me while I was at work. All of them saying I was being "childish and dramatic". I sent her one back saying "I'm being polite and giving you your stuff back rather than throwing it out." Missed two more calls.. Then I finally caved and called back. We talked for an hour about where things went wrong. It seems like she still wants me, but I really know for sure that I don't want to date her now. She told one of my friends that she "calls the shots in the relationship" between us. I called her out on this and said "I'm childish huh? When someone goes into a relationship with the intentions of power and control rather than cherishing time spent together.. That's fvcked. Take a look in the mirror." What kind of cold blooded lunatic would ever think such a thing, let alone mention those thoughts to mutual friends who will definitely pass along the information.

As for now, I'm just gonna take a break from dating. I've been going non-stop for the past few months now with different women. I could use a break from the constant headaches and temper tantrums. I just really want to focus on work, hang with my friends, and have a great summer. For the longest time I was feeling really lonely, and that really did motivate my game.. But for once I feel secure and at home. It really does feel fantastic!