Alec Baldwin: Major AFC; Out of Control

[Wyldfire]

Not to excuse his behaviour but there are two sides to this story and his wife also used the child against him so its not one parent that is messed up but two. His wife used a private phone message and leaked it to the media in order to say FU back to Alec and also to gain favour in future court custody battle. Now this was a bitter divorce and part of the problem is that women who have custody of children out of a bad divorce are notorious in bad mouthing the ex husband to the child and brain wash them to think their way. Kim best revenge is to brain wash the child to hate Alec so much that she wouldn't ever want to see him again and thus Kim wins and the child end up losing.

Women are reactive by nature. If the man handles the divorce well, she is likely to do the same. Child custody is no exception to this rule. As I explained in one of my posts...my ex husband handled it terribly, went into court taking a combative stance. I honestly did not want to fight...I just wanted out of the marriage and to be done with it. I didn't want our children to hate their father and not have a relationship with him. I just wanted him to be able to keep his anger and bitterness out of his relationship with his kids. He couldn't do that. He put in me a position where I had to defend myself against his ridiculous accusations in court. He kept filing one motion after another based on his anger and bitterness...not on reality.

My 7 year old's father was just the opposite...and we have never had any problems at all. He never too a combative stance at all. We sat down and talked like adults. He told me what his concerns were and how he has seen his friends go through hell in child support and custody and visitation issues. I told him about how my ex behaved and how he gave me no choice but to fight with him even though I didn't want to. I asked him to trust me and follow my lead during our case manager meeting before any court hearings. He did trust me and behaved in the way I suggested. We never even had to go to court or go in front of a judge. It took all of an hour to sort out the details 7 years ago and we have never been back to the court house since.

As for "brainwashing"...kids aren't stupid and in the end, the kids figure out what's true and what's not. Most of the accusations of brainwashing are insecurity on the part of the person throwing around that accusation. As soon as those accusations come out, often it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because the one accusing thinks they are "countering" the supposed brainwashing by saying bad things about the other parent. That ends up turning off the kids and they begin to pull away from the parent making the accusations.

I let one of my sons live with his father because our son wanted to try that. He was with his father for a year. Over that time, his father tried to keep our son from visiting with me and his siblings. My ex was trying to "get even" with what he thought was me being unfair. Although it hurt a great deal to not get time with my son, I was not going to behave badly and make the situation worse. I called my son once in awhile, but for the most part I let him know that it was up to him the level of contact he wanted to have. He called almost daily and wanted to visit badly. His father wanted me to beg and fight for visitation and I refused to do that. In the end, our son got angry with his father for not allowing him to visit. My ex had no choice but to let him visit because our son made living with him a nightmare until his father needed a break so bad he dropped him off. This is how non-custodial parents need to act. Nip this control game in the bud and don't let it hurt your kids.

Again...it does NOT matter how miserable either parent is with each other or what they are doing that is mean, unfair or rotten...you do NOT take it out on your child. period.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hmm, perhaps he is fed up. Perhaps, like all of us, he has a boiling point. All of us have had episodes in our life that we said and/or did things that were considered extreme. ...

Take a look at Grinder's post.

 

[( . )( . )]

I don't hate men...I just have absolutely no respect for *******s and think they are completely and utterly useless. Anyone who treats their child as Alec Baldwin did is an arsehole .

So every mother thats chastised or called her child names in the heat of the moment should not be allowed to see her child aswell according to you , because as you keep telling us your not biased toward men right?....Woops you forgot about the other side of the coin in your rambling about the evil man Alec Baldwin, your a transparent joke.

Wyldliar logic: Extra extra !! 500 million mothers denied access to their children for calling them abusive words.

Pffft Oh but its just the men (ie: Alec Baldwin) isnt it?

Someone didnt think her covert man bashing argument out very much this time did she? , what a toolbag.

Alec Baldwin doesn't deserve to have any contact with his daughter at all

EDIT:And Glengarry Glen Ross kicks ass, Alec Baldwins the man.

 

[wayword]

Not to excuse his behaviour but there are two sides to this story and his wife also used the child against him so its not one parent that is messed up but two. His wife used a private phone message and leaked it to the media in order to say FU back to Alec and also to gain favour in future court custody battle. Now this was a bitter divorce and part of the problem is that women who have custody of children out of a bad divorce are notorious in bad mouthing the ex husband to the child and brain wash them to think their way. Kim best revenge is to brain wash the child to hate Alec so much that she wouldn't ever want to see him again and thus Kim wins and the child end up losing.

Yea, I wouldn't be surprised if Kim brainwashed their daughter to hate him and used her as a tool against Alec. This is actually standard procedure... And can an 11-yo girl possibly be a spoiled bych? You betcha!

Point is, I'm sure there was a lot that drove Alec to this point and you can't judge the whole situation based on just one ugly phone call leaked out of context. I'm sure there was a lot more to this whole story.

 

[Wyldfire]

So every mother thats chastised or called her child names in the heat of the moment should not be allowed to see her child aswell according to you , because as you keep telling us your not biased toward men right?....Woops you forgot about the other side of the coin in your rambling about the evil man Alec Baldwin, your a transparent joke.

Wyldliar logic: Extra extra !! 500 million mothers denied access to their children for calling them abusive words.

Pffft Oh but its just the men (ie: Alec Baldwin) isnt it?

Someone didnt think her covert man bashing argument out very much this time did she? , what a toolbag.




EDIT:And Glengarry Glen Ross kicks ass, Alec Baldwins the man.

I don't care whether it's the mother or the father...if Kim were the one who left a voicemail like that over the little girl not answering the phone I would say the same thing about her. If the girl had stolen his car, stolen something, etc...then I would understand the anger...but this is ALL about the ex and the anger he has towards his ex. If he will take out his anger towards the ex over not answering a phone call then he will be even worse if the girl actually does something really bad.

 

[Wyldfire]

Yea, I wouldn't be surprised if Kim brainwashed their daughter to hate him and used her as a tool against Alec. This is actually standard procedure... And can an 11-yo girl possibly be a spoiled bych? You betcha!

Point is, I'm sure there was a lot that drove Alec to this point and you can't judge the whole situation based on just one ugly phone call leaked out of context. I'm sure there was a lot more to this whole story.

The best thing for both the child AND Alec is for them to have no contact for awhile until he deals with his anger towards her mother. If he continues to take out that anger on his daughter...she will hate him. IF Kim is "brainwashing" their daughter, the kid will figure it out and then it will be her mother that she hates. That's how it works...kids aren't stupid.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Take a look at Grinder's post.

No. I like Bandler better.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

The best thing for both the child AND Alec is for them to have no contact for awhile until he deals with his anger towards her mother. If he continues to take out that anger on his daughter...she will hate him. IF Kim is "brainwashing" their daughter, the kid will figure it out and then it will be her mother that she hates. That's how it works...kids aren't stupid.

First of all, he will always be dealing with his anger, because he will always have that anger. That does not mean he shouldn't have a relationship with his daughter, ever again. Believe me, it will be a lot easier for him to realize what he did with the daughter, than to not have anger against his ex wife.

By the time the kid figures it out what her mom is doing, she will be even more messed up. The laws don't protect the real victims, the children. A lot of times the kids grow up believing what they've heard. Deep inside they will take the side of that very same parent who poisoned them for years. Have seen it in my own extended family. Have cousins in their 40's who were fed by their parent, usually the mother, and now hold resentment.

 

[Wyldfire]

First of all, he will always be dealing with his anger, because he will always have that anger. That does not mean he shouldn't have a relationship with his daughter, ever again. Believe me, it will be a lot easier for him to realize what he did with the daughter, than to not have anger against his ex wife.

By the time the kid figures it out what her mom is doing, she will be even more messed up. The laws don't protect the real victims, the children. A lot of times the kids grow up believing what they've heard. Deep inside they will take the side of that very same parent who poisoned them for years. Have seen it in my own extended family. Have cousins in their 40's who were fed by their parent, usually the mother, and now hold resentment.

You're assuming that the mother is actually doing what Baldwin is accusing her of doing. My ex husband accused me of the same thing and I wasn't doing any such thing. In fact, for years I was working hard to try to undo the damage he did to his relationship with his kids by telling them their father loved them and was just hurt and angry with me and that he really didn't mean what he said. Alec Baldwin sounded exactly like my ex husband.

Bottom line...the man is hurting his child...and the child refused to answer his calls. If my father spoke to me in that way when he called me I wouldn't answer the phone, either. If this voicemail was any indication of the way he speaks to his daughter it is no wonder she doesn't want to pick up the phone. On top of that...IF (and this is a big if) her mother is trash talking her ex to their child his behavior just reinforces that. How dumb can the guy be?

I gave an example of how I handled the situation when my youngest son spent a year living with his father. His father was trash talking me practically all day every day based on what our son told the arresting officer who responded to my ex husband assaulting our son. My ex refused to allow our son to come visit me or his siblings, too. I went 8 months without seeing him because his father was being rotten. I usually just waited for my son to call me because he had his own cell phone and he would call almost daily. I never asked him about his father and would tell him what was going on with the rest of the family and ask him about what was going on with him in school, sports and the like. His father desperately tried to make me angry and instigate a fight. I knew that and was not about to be pulled into nonsense that would only cause my children pain. Eventually, our son rebelled against his father's behavior and forced his father to bring him to visit. I knew patience would allow the situation to resolve itself.

Alec Baldwin has caused damage and the worst thing to do once that has happened is to push yourself on the child. He needs to deal with his issues with anger and wait for her to come around. If he pulls back and waits, then she most likely WILL come around. If he keeps pushing she will pull further and further away from him, resent him for not giving her the space she needs and will end up hating him.

The fact is...the cases of "brainwashing" isn't anywhere near as common as you guys think it is. It's also BEST dealt with by refusing to react to it. Have faith that your child has enough brains to see who is behaving badly and who isn't...especially at 11 years old. His daughter is old enough to see what's really going on. To me, the fact that she won't answer her father's calls tells me that it is her father who is behaving the worst out of her parents...and that she is sick of listening to it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

No. I like Bandler better.

Perhaps because you've had a similar experience?

 

[Chosen1]

I was looking at Hannity and Colmes and the lady there had a very good point. I've been talked to worst than that girl has in my life, by people who "love me". Sometimes you just get upset and spit things out. I've done we all probably done it. I just want to know. If any of you heard him doing that in public would you stop it or just walk by?

 

[Wyldfire]

I was looking at Hannity and Colmes and the lady there had a very good point. I've been talked to worst than that girl has in my life, by people who "love me". Sometimes you just get upset and spit things out. I've done we all probably done it. I just want to know. If any of you heard him doing that in public would you stop it or just walk by?

It's not just what he said that is the problem. Yes, all parents get upset and say things they regret to their kids when their kids do something bad...and the parent is mad at the child for the child's behavior. That's not what this was, though. If Baldwin was just made at the child he would not have mentioned his ex in the message. Also...the kid didn't pick up the telephone...and he had no way of knowing what the reason for that was. Perhaps she was in the shower, on the toilet, or maybe there was an emergency where she couldn't answer the phone. He got angry and lashed out because she did not pick up the phone. That is NOT something that would cause a normally rational parent to get angry. A normally rational parent would not lash out at the other parent if it was really the child they were angry with. As a parent, if I had a scheduled phone call set up with one of my children and they didn't answer I would be worried about them...were they okay, were they in a car accident, etc. I would not get upset with them unless I learned AFTERWARDS that they saw the call coming, could have answered it but didn't. Also, the punishment would have fit the crime...if they didn't pick up the cell phone I would take away the cell phone for a week...or something similar.

Yes, his daughter disrespected him if she just didn't pick up the phone and heard it...but with a father that is so disrespectful to call her stupid and a little pig in such a seething tone of voice he really can't expect her to be respectful of him. He's hypocritical to hold his child to a higher standard of behavior than he quite clearly holds himself to.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

... I've done we all probably done it. I just want to know.

Please don't say that the justification is that there seems to be an segment of people in the world lacking a certain level of judgement and self control.

...
If any of you heard him doing that in public would you stop it or just walk by?

This is a difficult one. I hope that he would have enough sense not to do this in public but lets say that he didn't. If it was just verbal, I may not intervene but I would definitely watch in case it escalated to physical violence. If it did, I would protect the girl.

 

[6-heads lewis]

Wyldfire,

Your son probably doesn't suffer from Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but rather a much more common yet undiagnosed disorder I call 'Im a snotty, spoiled brat with too much freedom who needs to get punched in the face' Disorder.

It seems like everyone has a disorder these days, it's become hip to tell people you have ADD or are bipolar. I wish I could diagnose these people with 'Shut the Fvck Up' Disorder.

 

[Wyldfire]

Please don't say that the justification is that there seems to be an segment of people in the world lacking a certain level of judgement and self control.

This is a difficult one. I hope that he would have enough sense not to do this in public but lets say that he didn't. If it was just verbal, I may not intervene but I would definitely watch in case it escalated to physical violence. If it did, I would protect the girl.

I would definitely say something if I saw someone acting this way...and have before. I heard this one skanky biotch call her 4 year old daughter a "fvcking cvnt". I shoved a dish of soft cat food sitting on her porch in her face and called the state on her.

I just heard another report on this on cable news...and the person the voice mail was leaked to kinda implied that it may have been Alec Baldwin's daughter who is behind the leak. The person said that the girl is happy that the story came out, as well. If that's the case...then this is likely normal behavior. Judges won't usually let a kid speak for themselves in visitation cases unless there is extenuating circumstances that require it. This could have been his daughter's way of telling the court she doesn't want to see or talk to her father and getting people to listen to her. It's really hard for kids when they are being hurt by a parent's behavior and the court won't listen and still forces them to visit and endure being hurt.

 

[Wyldfire]

Wyldfire,

Your son probably doesn't suffer from Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but rather a much more common yet undiagnosed disorder I call 'Im a snotty, spoiled brat with too much freedom who needs to get punched in the face' Disorder.

It seems like everyone has a disorder these days, it's become hip to tell people you have ADD or are bipolar. I wish I could diagnose these people with 'Shut the Fvck Up' Disorder.

You obviously have never known a kid with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. My son was given a psychological evaluation at 9 or 10 years old and was diagnosed by a child psychiatrist to have ODD by itself...a very rare diagnosis. Most kids who have it also have ADHD, anxiety or depression. My son has straight ODD. Oh...and there is no medication to treat the symptoms.

Kindly don't make light of ODD...it's a very serious and difficult disorder to deal with. I've worked VERY hard for many years and have been very devoted to helping my son learn to manage and cope with his ODD...and we've had a great deal of success. That being said...it is pretty much the second most difficult childhood disorder to deal with.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You're assuming that the mother is actually doing what Baldwin is accusing her of doing. My ex husband accused me of the same thing and I wasn't doing any such thing. In fact, for years I was working hard to try to undo the damage he did to his relationship with his kids by telling them their father loved them and was just hurt and angry with me and that he really didn't mean what he said. Alec Baldwin sounded exactly like my ex husband.

Bottom line...the man is hurting his child...and the child refused to answer his calls. If my father spoke to me in that way when he called me I wouldn't answer the phone, either. If this voicemail was any indication of the way he speaks to his daughter it is no wonder she doesn't want to pick up the phone. On top of that...IF (and this is a big if) her mother is trash talking her ex to their child his behavior just reinforces that. How dumb can the guy be?

I gave an example of how I handled the situation when my youngest son spent a year living with his father. His father was trash talking me practically all day every day based on what our son told the arresting officer who responded to my ex husband assaulting our son. My ex refused to allow our son to come visit me or his siblings, too. I went 8 months without seeing him because his father was being rotten. I usually just waited for my son to call me because he had his own cell phone and he would call almost daily. I never asked him about his father and would tell him what was going on with the rest of the family and ask him about what was going on with him in school, sports and the like. His father desperately tried to make me angry and instigate a fight. I knew that and was not about to be pulled into nonsense that would only cause my children pain. Eventually, our son rebelled against his father's behavior and forced his father to bring him to visit. I knew patience would allow the situation to resolve itself.

Alec Baldwin has caused damage and the worst thing to do once that has happened is to push yourself on the child. He needs to deal with his issues with anger and wait for her to come around. If he pulls back and waits, then she most likely WILL come around. If he keeps pushing she will pull further and further away from him, resent him for not giving her the space she needs and will end up hating him.

The fact is...the cases of "brainwashing" isn't anywhere near as common as you guys think it is. It's also BEST dealt with by refusing to react to it. Have faith that your child has enough brains to see who is behaving badly and who isn't...especially at 11 years old. His daughter is old enough to see what's really going on. To me, the fact that she won't answer her father's calls tells me that it is her father who is behaving the worst out of her parents...and that she is sick of listening to it.

At 11 years old, people are very capable, and very likely to be "brainwashed". 11 years old is very very young, specially when dealing with two adults. $hit, even adults can be very easily manipulated at times.

You can say whatever you want about her not doing what she's been accused of, but guess what??? We don't know. All we know is she released the tape to the media. All I know is that they are both wrong, and they are both hurting the child. So to say that he's the one who needs to be away, and the mother is the one who should keep her is totally moronic. THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN. Two versions of the same story, and two sides to the same story.

He will always have anger and resentment towards his ex wife. To say that he can't see his kid until he's no longer angry about stuff from his marriage, is ridiculous. Now, if he continues with his anger after this latest embarrasement, then I would agree with you. But so far, we don't know much about these two, except that, one, he was totally wrong for leaving that nasty message, and two, she was wrong for releasing it to manipulate the situation.

 

[Wyldfire]

At 11 years old, people are very capable, and very likely to be "brainwashed". 11 years old is very very young, specially when dealing with two adults. $hit, even adults can be very easily manipulated at times.

You can say whatever you want about her not doing what she's been accused of, but guess what??? We don't know. All we know is she released the tape to the media. All I know is that they are both wrong, and they are both hurting the child. So to say that he's the one who needs to be away, and the mother is the one who should keep her is totally moronic. THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN. Two versions of the same story, and two sides to the same story.

He will always have anger and resentment towards his ex wife. To say that he can't see his kid until he's no longer angry about stuff from his marriage, is ridiculous. Now, if he continues with his anger after this latest embarrasement, then I would agree with you. But so far, we don't know much about these two, except that, one, he was totally wrong for leaving that nasty message, and two, she was wrong for releasing it to manipulate the situation.

We don't know that Kim Basinger released the voice mail. In fact...the person the voice mail was leaked to eluded that it was actually the 11 year old girl who leaked the voice mail.

I don't know if you have children or not, but I do. I have 4 children ages 21, 18, 16 and 7. I know full well that 11 year olds are a lot more capable of thinking for themselves than most people would think.

The first clue as to who is the one causing the problems is to find out who left who. I did some research and found that Kim Basinger left Alec Baldwin and filed for divorce. She wanted out and she got what she wanted...a divorce. The person who leaves a marriage they want out of is NOT angry and bitter when they leave. They feel like they have a new lease on life and are happy and full of hope for the future. The one who was left feels rejected, angry, hurt and once the initial shock passes...bitter. Alec Baldwin is, without a doubt, the one who started the whole ugly process that has unfolded out of a need to try to make his ex hurt just as much as she hurt him. What's the best way to hurt the mother of your child who has just left you? Fight for custody and angrily tell her that you're going to take the child away from her.

That will cause the mother to go into defensive mode. Because the jilted parent knows full well that they are being vindictive, they expect the same behavior from their ex...and assume that the other parent will "brainwash" the child or somehow interfere with their relationship with the child.

That is NOT where the person who left wanted things to go. They just wanted out of the marriage and to move on with life...but the bitter parent will not let them...because they have a compulsion to "get even". That's how these long, nasty custody battles begin and go on and on endlessly.

The child will know who keeps filing the court motions and creating conflict. Again, it is Alec Baldwin who keeps filing the motions. Perhaps the kid is just sick and tired of the stupid fighting and just wants to have a normal, peaceful life. If her father is the one being vindictive and looking for a fight, she is going to notice that all on her own at 11 years old.

I think his daughter is the one who leaked the message. The poor kid probably feels like her life is being ripped apart by all the fighting and although it impacts her the most, she has the least say or control over in which way she gets pulled or pushed by the courts and her parents. What better way to put an end to it than to leak that message and let the whole world know that this is about HER and NOT her parents.

If my 7 year old can upload a video message she recorded of herself into my email account and send it to her grandmother then I think an 11 year old is bright enough to figure out what I talked about in the previous paragraph.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Sure. I am sure the child contacted her agent and released it to the media! The mother is just as guilty. She released this. I seriously doubt she is as "Street Savy" as your kids were at whatever age you think they can't be manipulated.

YOu don't know what is going on in their lives.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

We will know about this, as the days go by, I am sure. Then I will comment on more than just speculation.