Im I spent the better part of half a decade in AA so this is a hot button topic for me.
to put it simply; it' snot that cut and dry.
The first and foremost thing you need to understand about alcoholism is that it is very much hereditary. IN other words, a better way to state is that, there are people who are walking around today that are alcoholics and wouldn't have the slightest clue beucase they don't drink.
This is a conversation that is much too complex for this one post so bare with me... the avg person is, because of their makeup, family history, genetics, and so on and so forth, are predestined to become addicted to particular drugs. not so much A drug.
In other words, I was a cocaine, before i ever snorted/cooked crack. When I say, it literally, took one hit fo rme to be addicted, there was no build up. none. lol. i knew the second i hit it the very first time i was done. I've seen, hundreds of stone cold lights out have to have a 6 pack to get out of bed alcoholics, i've even sponsered af ew, and none of them got there because they were that depressed.
but with some drugs, like alcohol, i can very much take it or leave it. We have about 300-400 dollars of various alcohol in the house right now and it's the last thing on my mind. I'm not a heavy drinker, I never will be a heavy drinker, even when i used drugs i wasn't a heavy drinker. Drinking doesn't do it for me.
and i've done more than coke. i've popped pills. not my thing. i've tired H. not my thing. i don't like the way it makes me feel. I'm not a drug addict, i'm addicted to cocaine. I have not had so much as a sniff of coke/crack in almost 8 years and if i went out and had some tonight i'd be right back where i was 8 years ago, zero questions asked.
So it's not so much about being depressed or not being depressed, a more accurate analogy is playing Russian roulette, with different drugs.. coke, meth, alcohol, pills, and every time you spin the barrel, and pull, you are taking a chance.. is this the drug for me. for me it was coke. I did not know this at that time, but i have/had 3 intermediate family members all on my dad's side of my family who battled crack cocaine addictions.. one lived across the country so i didn't' know about it, one had died before i was too old to find out and one just did a erally good job of hiding it from everyone. Had i known that, maybe i would not have done it. but i did so **** it lol. for some it's nothing. i know some people the first time they took a drink = couldn't stop. I know a girl who was 35 and had done not hing more than tote a blunt from now and then and within 6 months of taking her first drop of alcohol, had shot her self in the stomach and tried to kill herself she had fell so far down. perfectly sane woman, secretary at an insurance farm, drove a lexus, stone cold alcoholic, hard core alcoholic, had no clue.
on the other hand, i've sat and wathed with my own 2 eyes more than once someone take a 20 dollar rock put it on a crack pipe, hit it, smoke everywhere and they say.. meh this isn't for me lol. i'm like WTF man that was a killer hit
that's why to me the biggest mistake people make is they eventually beat the drug or whatever , alcoholism, and then they hide it from everyone. talk about that ****. if i got 2-3 family memers that are alcohlics that's some **** i need to know.
Now, i'm not saying depressed people don't drink, but if you have the bug, depressed aint' got **** to do with it lol. i know quite a few stone cold happy alcoholics. there is never gonna be a day where the bug guy can drink normally beucase he's addicted to it.
now, i have a rule of thumb..; i don't drink alone and i don't drink if i am in a ****ty mood. While i'm not an alcoholic, if i get tipsy and get drunk my mind starts coming up with **** and lord knows where i will be lol. but i can drink normally with no issue whatsoever.