"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Alcohol

Reincarnated

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I know this has been a topic of extensive discussion, but it's an important one.

I've recently gotten to the point where any of the benefits of having a good time drinking are now heavily outweighed by the detriments.

Lot of factors at play here, one of which being the impact an antidepressant I've been taking for over a year now has had post-drinking/recovery. I actually no longer get physical hangovers, but the mental side effects have gotten significantly worse.

Also over the last couple of years I've come to realize that my success in conversing and interacting with women is just better sober. I no longer get or need the confidence boost that booze gave me early in college. To the same effect, the social circle that booze helped me build in college just isn't necessary anymore. The friends I've kept from that era probably wouldn't care at all if stopped drinking when we get together.

Lastly, I just hate it's impact on my gym progress. I feel like a night of moderate drinking now sets me back like two weeks. I don't drink frequently (maybe once every month or so) but when I do it's not light.

Just looking for different thoughts, particularly anyone who had made a similar transition and has successfully become fully sober.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Kotaix

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I drink on an almost daily basis, but it's usually one ****tail at home with the gf, and I rarely even get tipsy. I've never liked being drunk and if I get too tipsy it results in vomit.

I don't find that it affects my gains at the gym, but I'm already at the point that I want to be at as well.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I drink on an almost daily basis, but it's usually one ****tail at home with the gf, and I rarely even get tipsy. I've never liked being drunk and if I get too tipsy it results in vomit.

I don't find that it affects my gains at the gym, but I'm already at the point that I want to be at as well.
How old are you? As you get older the large margin for error you enjoy now starts closing more and more rapidly and that will lead to deleterious effects on your health.

I would suggest if you continue this pattern you may be singing a different tune in 5 years.
 

Kotaix

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How old are you? As you get older the large margin for error you enjoy now starts closing more and more rapidly and that will lead to deleterious effects on your health.

I would suggest if you continue this pattern you may be singing a different tune in 5 years.
I'm 45.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Blacksheep

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Just read Brain in balance by Frederick Von Stieff.

Also it negatively impacts testo. So not a good idea.

I tried moderation, but if you read that book you will understand how alcohol even in small amounts can fck up your neurochemistry.
 

Ricky

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It really messes up your sleep at even pretty small amounts
 

obelisk

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Yeah I've come to the sad realization that I simply can't/shouldn't drink. Even in small doses as Ricky said, it messes up my sleep seriously for a good 2-3 days. So many things about it is detrimental and I usually overdo it when I do drink on top of everything else.

Sucks but it is what it is if I want to stay at the peak of my game.
 

Millard Fillmore

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You'll find a lot of opinions and experiences on this. Personally I only drink wine any more. Maybe a beer once in a while and a c0cktail if it's made right on a special occasion. Otherwise I enjoy a bit of wine nightly with some exceptions - usually chilling alone or with my gf or friends.

If I go out I drink on more or less the same level as I hate hangovers. Hate hate hate. So I always check myself.

That said there's not much to be gained objectively from alcohol and our bodies don't need it. Humans are the only animals that willingly put poison into their bodies. Weird huh? Maybe chimps do, I dunno.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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patb

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Drinking (or rather, the long term tolerance coupled with emotional instability) has become a real issue. The apps have degraded to the point of being useless for me. And pretty suddenly too — they were still delivering some results last summer. But I can sense this isn’t a just a seasonal dry spell this time. I think my ‘career’ may actually be over now. I have no social circle to speak of, and though I’m taking some of the normie/reddit advice and doing “activities,” I have zero faith any of them will pay off.

The only viable alternative seems to be bars. But long-term alcohol tolerance means I no longer get the euphoric lift I once did. I can drink and drink and drink and I’ll still not feel any more like approaching than I did when I started. In fact, it seems to have a counterproductive effect, driving me further into my head and evoking negative, self-defeating feelings. I get still get IOIs from rather attractive chicks, but somehow I can’t get it together enough to approach (mostly out of dread for how painful the convo is likely to be. The slightest setback ruins the whole night and I go home in frustration. Alcohol used to cut through this, but as I said, now it seems to make it worse. Yet sober nightlife seems pretty out of the question. It’s really kind of over.
 

Reincarnated

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The only viable alternative seems to be bars. But long-term alcohol tolerance means I no longer get the euphoric lift I once did. I can drink and drink and drink and I’ll still not feel any more like approaching than I did when I started.
I've gotten to this point with nicotine (Zyn pouches) now as well with alcohol. I'd give a lot to be able to get back the easy nic buzzes from one I first started, can't even get close now. As for alcohol, haven't had a drop in approaching 2 months now, functioning on all cylinders. However I don't share the lack of a social life so I'm pretty sure the streak will come to an end in the next couple weeks.

The alcohol buzzes haven't been great the last few (dozen) times, will never get back to those early experiences on that end either. Never use alcohol as a crutch around women anymore, haven't in years, I can hold my own completely sober.
 

patb

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You can hold completely sober on a dance floor on a Saturday?
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Reincarnated,
Like Churchill I long thought that "I have taken more from alcohol,than it has taken from me"....Since about about 22 years Old I drank excessive amounts of 7%Beer settling down at about 40 into a bottle of Wine a night until about 70 when I tapered down to half a bottle.....I worked very long hours and found grog relaxed me and allowed me to sleep....At 77 things started going wrong and I started suffering from Acid Reflux and it has ruined my appetite,as I enjoy cooking and eating very much it has been a great loss.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Reincarnated

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You can hold completely sober on a dance floor on a Saturday?
I meant more in the sense I never drink with the slightest thought of "this will improve my ability to attract/converse with women in any way". But fair enough, I can't say I remember the last time I legitimately danced dead sober (to be fair I might not remember the last time I did that drunk either, but for a different reason).
 

CountSuavula

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You need to quit anti depressants. If you are taking pills like that it could mean you fail at being a drinker, depending upon your age. But I digress.

Alcohol use and abuse tends to favor artists and musicians and men with certain talents and attributes, and people skilled with getting trashed with women. You have to hone in on her natural ability as a female of being completely irresponsible.

If you really need to be in the scene and use it as a tool to improve your game, listen to country music with the woman. Treat her like the type who is going to be making your pancakes and steak in the morning and brewing you coffee and doing PRACTICAL things like a woman.

Use her like a maid and put her to work on that grill. Use her like your personal Bob Evans or a trashy waitress at a greasy spoon who you would cheat on repeatedly.

Make sure she is too hung over to go to work and then you have yourself a regular, a regular friend of irresponsible behavior. She will always be back.

Play that country music too. Women are hardwired to become a country woman who makes you bacon and eggs on demand.

Alcohol is the the most practical thing for getting laid that has ever existed.
 
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Justino

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I drink on an almost daily basis, but it's usually one ****tail at home with the gf, and I rarely even get tipsy. I've never liked being drunk and if I get too tipsy it results in vomit.

I don't find that it affects my gains at the gym, but I'm already at the point that I want to be at as well.
Yeh... I drink but It's just once a bleu moon
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I don't even find alcohol helpful for dates or approaches anymore and I kind of hate it. It dulls me down and makes me lethargic and slow unless I binge drink which is admittedly still fun but a completely unnecessary, once or twice a year sort of a thing. Binge drinking has been proven to fvck with your brain function for like a week, in addition to long term damage.

Try using phenibut/kratom instead they're so much better for socializing. Even nicotine is helpful, as well as other cognitive enhancers/stimulants. Sometimes I pop a lozenge before a date (or job interview) and it helps tremendously with sociability, wit, word recall, etc.
 

Reincarnated

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You need to quit anti depressants. If you are taking pills like that it could mean you fail at being a drinker, depending upon your age. But I digress.

Alcohol is the the most practical thing for getting laid that has ever existed.
I should specify that the antidepressant was prescribed as a sleeping aid to compliment migraine medication regimen, and its working wonders. Prior to any medications I was having 15-20 days each month negatively impacted, now it's practically 0. Having an extra 15-20 days is totally worth the trade off, and allows me to improve in all facets of life in a way I previously couldnt. But I see your point.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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