"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Ahhh Thank you all !

AlexTheGreat

Senior Don Juan
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Well, thank you all for helping me remove some AFC-ness from me -- especially NRM ! Thanks to this site, the bible, and the good people here, I got rid of my Oneitis, moved on, and made it click with an old acquaintance, that I hadn't seen for more than 2 years !

Long story short, I saw her again, for the first time in 2 years, through a friend who organized a little party ... Got a date after that, we went to the movies, and saw "The Day After Tomorrow". Applied a lot of kino throughout the date, C+F and eye contact, and it worked nicely ! I got a second date !

So, for this second one, I invite her to watch some movies at my house. We go in my room and watch a few DVDs, ranging from "Final Fantasy" to "The Shining", and afterwards we talked a little. I then went in, kissed her : she says "What was that for ?" to which I reply "Nothing, just because". We were both lying on my bed at this point : after the kiss, I had backed down and lied down. Now, she comes and kisses me, and we make out for like 40 minutes ! Needless to say, it went nicely !

So, I talk to her again today, and tell her I wanna see her again. Everything is going fine, for now ! But, I'm starting to regret something : I told her that my bus pass was still valid for a few days, so we should see each other somewhere around her place, that way she doesn'T have to pay for bus tickets, and I can use my pass, which means we don't pay for anything yet. But, I told her to propose something fun to do : this is what's scaring me a little, because I haven't taken the initiative in the activity .... sortof .... In a way, I took the initiative in proposing we do something this Friday, but, seen from another angle, I gave her control ....

So, what are your opinions on this last development ? Did I **** up by "letting her decide what we should do" ?

Once again, thanks for everything ! This site is great, and the members are extraordinary ! I haven't been here for a long time, but already I can feel I'm becoming more DJ-ish ! Before, I would never have asked out a girl I just met, out : now, I don't have a problem with it anymore ! So, great job to everyone contributing to this site ! Continue the excellent work ! :)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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NRM

Master Don Juan
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Hey, you don't have to analyze every incident. Don't worry man, she kissed you back and everything so at least she has interest. Yeah, letting her choose the activity is bad for early on in the relationship because early on you barely know eachother so she isn't sure what you like to do. It just makes it tough. So don't be surprised if she comes up with nothing and depends on you to pick (happened to me lots). Just be sure to have something if that happens. And if she does pick, it'll be okay too, it's just one incident in hopefully many incidents afterwards. Good luck man.
 

Jerky Boi

Master Don Juan
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You did nothing wrong. Just try not to over analyze everything. You know she has interest so that should make for an interesting 3rd date. Whatever she picks should be fun. Good luck
 

kevbo

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you're doin great dude. just be sure to plan an interesting thing or two in the near future.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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